Blog blog blog blog. what a day. Went out last night, had an ok time. it got interesting, but I still ended up feeling like I was out with a bunch of people, and I was all alone. This is becoming par for the course in my life, and its really one of the damndest feelings. I'm glad I have so many friends, but in the end, none of them really seem to be with me, or get me. we go out, and all is well, maybe i'm just so antisocial that people gravitate away from me when I'm out, thats certainly what seemed to happen last night. bleh. In other news the girl stuff is still ongoing, still driving me crazy, but I'm trying to come to terms with it. If it happens, then awesome, if it doesn't, then it doesn't, and I need to act as though it won't happen. Problem I'm having now is my daughter. She met this girl, and if things continue will meet her again, and again. This is fine if she's just a friend, which is what she is right now. However if she's going to be more than that, which I would like, then I should be following some sort of rules about intrductions to my kid, and how attatched I let sam get to her before anything can happen. I'm torn, on the one hand I love having a friend who is ok hanging out with me and my kid, many of them seem not to. On the other, that makes her all the more attractive, and if thats the case, then I should probably stop that.
She is an amazing woman, she is physically so many things I've always sought out in a woman, and in top of it, she has a good intellect, she is responsible, she's funny. She is steady, and even, has a good job, a steady life. All of these things make her so much like what I would look for, and she is, exactly what I would look for, in so many ways. At the same time, all this drama, and this kind of back and forth I'm feeling from her, make it a bad situation in general. I love the time we spend together, but she doesn't love it as much, I am incredibly attracted to her, and she while apparently attracted to me, it i apparently not as much. so much, but not so much. LOL. I'm being like a stupid high schooler am I not. Thats kind of how I feel about it, and it makes me that much less attractive I'm sure. ah well.
Tonight, out for some possibly very crazy times with a crazy ex, and a mutual friend. Now why can't i just be interested in one of these girls I already know who thinks I"m fantastic? damn good question, but I've come to know, we can't help whats in our hearts, and minds as far as that stuff goes. This isn't my first brush with girls who i think are great, who think I'm great, but just not quite good enough. One of the ickkiest things ever.
Off to get crazy! hells yea! no bad times tonight, only fun, only drinking, and well honestly we're going to bars I wouldn't normally go to, so I might be miserable, but they all have rum right, and rum can make it all better. If I somehow end up on a mechanical Bull, not likely, but possible, I will be sure to post pictures of it. :-)
--Z
She is an amazing woman, she is physically so many things I've always sought out in a woman, and in top of it, she has a good intellect, she is responsible, she's funny. She is steady, and even, has a good job, a steady life. All of these things make her so much like what I would look for, and she is, exactly what I would look for, in so many ways. At the same time, all this drama, and this kind of back and forth I'm feeling from her, make it a bad situation in general. I love the time we spend together, but she doesn't love it as much, I am incredibly attracted to her, and she while apparently attracted to me, it i apparently not as much. so much, but not so much. LOL. I'm being like a stupid high schooler am I not. Thats kind of how I feel about it, and it makes me that much less attractive I'm sure. ah well.
Tonight, out for some possibly very crazy times with a crazy ex, and a mutual friend. Now why can't i just be interested in one of these girls I already know who thinks I"m fantastic? damn good question, but I've come to know, we can't help whats in our hearts, and minds as far as that stuff goes. This isn't my first brush with girls who i think are great, who think I'm great, but just not quite good enough. One of the ickkiest things ever.
Off to get crazy! hells yea! no bad times tonight, only fun, only drinking, and well honestly we're going to bars I wouldn't normally go to, so I might be miserable, but they all have rum right, and rum can make it all better. If I somehow end up on a mechanical Bull, not likely, but possible, I will be sure to post pictures of it. :-)
--Z