zariat

no dont leave i just found you???you seem really cool and ive always wonderd about australia.always wanted to go there.

You may not read this, but I have attempted suicide, and I ache for the loss.

Sometimes the exquisite ache is too much, all the beauty in the world and where is my lost home. Where is the place I have left? And what is this place I been thrown into?

In exasperation I have changed my view. I will share just because. We are born into a state of mortality. You could say we are born to die. But it is in the living that creates the reason, and to embrace the experience in its fullest. Thus ironically, Suicide Girls throw themselves into life, savage; as you dissolve all sense of the self. Nothing, no filter or social convention separates you from directly experiencing all the passion of life. This is the way to the real. And we love you for it. As stalking the wild pendulum, all things go out and then come in. Returning to the inside may not be what you want right now, but your being (or whatever) will force you back inward, until finally the return to source propels you to swing out. Sometimes it all becomes too much, use down time and let your imagination play, and you will dream with new enthusiasm for a new day. Share the joys of life, the precious little things, and say never again. Trying to connect. Take care.

Whassup Z.

I hope you had a nice weekend. Mine was great, some nice parties went down this weekend here in the MTL. I love this city, almost as much as I love Melbourne. But MTL has the added bonus of people speaking french, and its just so sexy. But this week at work will be nuts, with mothers day coming up, I will be up to my eye balls in floral arrangements. Wish me luck!

Hehe, whered you go?

I was a medic with Six Field Ambulance during the first gulf war and although I did not see active duty I did see the results of war first hand so yes I am a patriot but for the common man, the proletariat not the state. it is always the average Joe that is sent of to fight the battles and they do so without complaint, that is the reason that I go to the dawn service, to remember the young man and yes women that had their lives squandered for someone elses politics. War sucks yes but never-the-less it is part of the nature of man to go to war as a means of sorting out our differences and if we havent sorted that out after 4000 years of human civilization than I don't think it will happen any time soon.

I hope you like the gluten stakes; let me know when you have tried them as they can be hard to get right at first.

Nuckinya

good point z hadn't seen it that way before, but your right our leaders have become a little disenfrachised from the hurt end of war, a return to good ole days then is called for and lets see how much killing takes place then if its theirs that are on the front line.
just to play devils advocate though, Prince Andrew of the British royal family did take an active part in the Falklands war. He flew a number of sorties in a Harrier Jump Jet and apprently got right in the thick of it. But hey I spose we have the exception/rule thing going on here.

Nuckinya

[Edited on Apr 25, 2004 11:19PM]

Awesome! it'll probably be a little while. I dont know if you've heard of strange attractors but theyre fractal in nature. I've just made a few plots of some chaotic functions and I'm building up some computer code from there. So far it's not anything close to art but i'll show you. It's kinda interesting

I don't know about me being an artist let alone a visionary artist, but I can help you out with my gluten stake recipe.

Ingredients
Gluten Flower x 1.5 cups
Rolled Oats x 1.5 cups
1 packet of french onion soup mix
2 eggs
1 tablespoon of either vegemite, promite or marmite
one cup cold water
one cup of hot water
salt and pepper
2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
A large cheese cloth and the biggest pot you have must hold at least six liters.
Method:
combine all dry ingredients into a larg bowl (feel free to add your favorite flavours eg herbs curry ect)
mix together then add eggs (can be left out if you are a vegan I am an ovo-lacto vege)
now add olive oil and cold water and mix.
add the tablespoon of vegemite or promite (I prefere promite as it has a sweeter taste) to the cup of hot water and disolve while stirring.
Now add the hot broth to the mix and combine, the texture should be a dough that when squeesed is wet, yet still hold together.
Now fill the large pot up to half with hot water and add some maggie beef stock cubes a sliced onion and other herbs for flavour and bring to the boil.
Now place your gluten dough mix into the centre of your cheese cloth tie a knot in the top and place into the pot that is now on the boil making sure the broth covers the gluten dough ball. bring back to the boil and cover and simmer for an hour.
when you remove the gluten from the pot and uncover you should have a nice round brown tight wet loaf. Place onto a cutting board leave to cool and then slice into steaks and marinate in a mixture of soy, crushed garlic and beaten egg then dip in bread crumbs and fry in hot olive oil quickly on both sides till crumbs are golden. Serve as you would a steak with gravy and veges yum. You can use the base loaf for many things such as cut into strips for stirfries or slice for burgers in fact use it where ever you would use beef.
Good luck and let me know how it goes.

Nuckinya

microcosmos was a fucking great film!

nope, do you listen to the justus league? cuz you should.

oh tell me about it....well i don't know about mp3 but my lil bro lent me his mini disc player and i was putting my cd's onto the mini discs....oh man its a pain in the ass and to be honest i got lazy and kinda gave up and resorted back to my good old disc man hehe ah well! it will be worth it in the end though...

no haven't listened to it, what kinda music is it? i like most music...hehehe my CD collection ranges from smashing pumpkins to folk music (from just about any country but south american would have to be one of my faves) to musicals like Les Mis and even Rocky Horror Picture Show hehe yes I know I'm weird! Can't help it hehe I was born this way hehe.

anyway i'll stop rambling...you'll have to let me know how you like the Art Gallery...i'd have to say its one of my favourite places to go in my lunch break at work!

ciao for now,

KPK xoxox

I remember some joint in St Kilda that had pumpkin curry. I loved that place so much. Yum yum, pumkin curry.

Vegetable rights and peace, man...

hey coolio... how was yr weekend? hope yr feeling better with yr froggy throat. my weekend was shite. i dont really wanna talk about it tho'. my life needs a lot of sorting out right now.

anyway on the question of your journal... well i have never been lucky enough to be in love, and havent really had a girlfriend in years so i guess im a little unqualified to answer. but it is certainly something i've thought about. i've got a feeling that im very much a 'one woman man' in that if i had someone i really loved then they would be all i needed. but in saying that i have a fear that if i was in that situation, what would i be missing out on if other opportunities arose? would i get bored of my girlfriend and look for excitement elsewhere? i guess i wont know the answer to those questions until the time comes. but i would see myself as being a jealous type, and would probably go mental if my girl was with another guy (tho for some reason i have less of a worry if she was with another girl - i guess mainly cause i feel that most guys are assholes and most girls are gentle).

Poly is scary. But im my experience, love isnt fun unless its scary. Poly can be amazing, but its a difficult thing do do sucessfully. But its all about communication. And inmy opinion, poly goes farther than just primary and secondary lovers and similar such rhetoric and practice. For me, Poly is the understsanding of love and sex as universal and all encompassing. Meaning that to love one person is to love yourself and all people, thus making love and sex a lifestyle choice to be shared among many people. For love is not an absolute, neither are relationships, neither is your heart and like wise with sex . All things are subject to the ebb and flow of change of emotion, lust, trust and circumstance. For me, I tend not to commit to relationships based in mono sexuality. If someone wants me to go mono with them, I usually try to slow things down and just remain friends instead of lovers. For friendship is stronger and ever evolving, and usually less trouble than sexual relations based in a mono context. And I would rather have lots of friends that I love, than ex lovers who I hate.

Sounds like quite the fun time. Though the froggy throat doesn't seem a fair payment. Hope you feel better.

Yes, the Nields are still around. They just released a new album that coincides with a book one of the sisters wrote (I've never bothered to learn which was which). But I still maintain that "Best Black Dress" should've been a hit. A fun kooky song like that.

have fun. And bring us back some images if you can

i did a ski trip to japan. niseko, hokkaido, flew in via sapporo. did some day tripping around the resort and some city living in sapporo. of course we skied - a lot - and my dominant memory is powder sking at night beside the main runs with no-one about. talk about peace - and energy combined. every night we drank in the 'fish bar'. it was more a rustic cabin with a giant fireplace in the middle. every night we drank beer and ate bbq fish. i loved it there but the language barrier was a bit of a problem , especially when trying to chat up the girls!

ahh - how could i forget the 'onsen', volcanic baths, under the stars, snow all about. so romantic.

[Edited on Apr 17, 2004 9:10PM]

I am always surprised how similar we are. My favorite ice cream is vanilla with chocolate bits and my favorite women flavor is chocolate with vanilla bits.

If I ever get my scanner fixed I will show u my favorite aussie shot

b

yeah travelling birds was on at the international filmfest here late last year, it was on my list to see and i was weirded out when everytime i went along it had sold out way in advance, even in the biggest cinema in auckland where it was being shown. crazy.
im gonna go check ebay and see if i can find some kind of micro/birds dvd's on the cheap.
ebay makes my credit card hurt real real bad!
i've also heard a lot of good things about 'spotless' so will be seeing that when it comes out over here.
oooh im soooo going to check out 'dark days'... that sounds amazing. i had an idea myself a couple of years ago abuot making a doco over here about the homeless people in auckland. if you ever hang around town there are quite a few familiar homeless people that you recognise all the time. it would be really interesting to interview them and find out about them and how they became homeless, what their daily routine is, some of the hardships theyve faced, etc. taking things further we could try and help the people who want help and want to find jobs or whatever and film their progress. ofcourse i know little to nothing about making film, and have no contacts in the industry so i'll probably never get it done, but who knows.
whats a good 'dead' album to start with? i imagine a live one?

heh, i said 'friend rice' ... a freudian slip, cos the people at that restaurant are definitely my friends. they know what i want before i order.

Hmm, i just checked out your boards contraversy. Seems like a valid question to me and I think theres a valid answer. The sites grown large enough that not every girl is going to suite everyones taste. In some senses it's become more unique by shifting a little more to the mainstream because theres more diversity in the site. Also, what makes an SG different is that you can read their journals, comment, talk to them, get to know them more than just a figure. Anyway, I think it's a good question, and thats my two cents Now off to class!