zanthyn

hello who ever you are reading this..i hope you had a lovely weekend. mine was okay im doing a countdown to 57 days. thats the exact number of days i have to wait until i get to see my boyfriend again, its not alot really but on nights like this it seems like forever.... do you ever feel like your life is pointless, i mean i know mine isnt i just feel like my life is on re-run everyday. school and work is all is my life and it never really changes much.

although today i switched it up a notch and i met up with an old friend and he made me realize that i need to live for what i love, and now thats what im trying to do get rid of past mistakes and move on. im going to admit to you something, even though we just met and you're still getting to me. ive been drug free for the past 14 days and i couldnt be better! i had a problem with a few drugs and now im over it, i broke up with my horrible habit just when i thought it was over. now it a little difficult because i feel like im longing for a hit again, at times the craving seem almost unbearable but yet i will remain faithful in this and continue on the road of recovery.

well i hope i didnt scare you away! the lesson i learned tonight was to find a reason or a purpose in my life and chase it, and not let drugs or any other outside influences alter or get in the way of that goal. my boyfriend who ive been dating off and on for the past years was unaware of my drug problem, until i told him a few months ago before i went to a clinic for help. he was unaware because we have been long distance for so long, even when he was station in the US his base is on the other side of the country. but he saved me because he gave me a reason to keep going at a time i was falling hard...and he supported me even from iraq. so yea im going to end this now because im tired and im not working tonight. hopefully you are doing well, and i hope you have a great week
<3 Vixeyn