Well......that was pretty quick 
Im all depressed again......all my fault to.....I just alienate everyone around me.
About 5 or 6 times now within the last 24 hours....my I M friends sign out as soon as I sign in or talk to them.....and the few that will talk to me I just annoy
Im tired of always feeling like this
I dont know why Im like this.......Rationally I know I have friends that care about me....and believe me Im grateful for that. Rationally I know that noone is avoiding me....and if they are it is my own fault.
But my mind doesnt work rationally
My mind always sees things in the most negative way possible
It sees people wanting me to go away
It sees me as horrible, disfigured, and as a nasty person
It sees a future where I am alone......
......and that more than anything else terrifies me
I dont know why Im like this.....but I am. Ive tryed to change....to take pleasure in what I have in life....but I simply cant. Everything always is somehow ruined.....more often than not by me.
I honestly should be happy......I have more than someother people. Maybe Im greedy? Maybe I want the kind of happiness that Ive seen in the movies. Maybe that just doesnt exist. But if that is the case......what do I do if the only thing Ive ever wanted simply isnt real?
Im all depressed again......all my fault to.....I just alienate everyone around me.
About 5 or 6 times now within the last 24 hours....my I M friends sign out as soon as I sign in or talk to them.....and the few that will talk to me I just annoy
Im tired of always feeling like this
I dont know why Im like this.......Rationally I know I have friends that care about me....and believe me Im grateful for that. Rationally I know that noone is avoiding me....and if they are it is my own fault.
But my mind doesnt work rationally
My mind always sees things in the most negative way possible
It sees people wanting me to go away
It sees me as horrible, disfigured, and as a nasty person
It sees a future where I am alone......
......and that more than anything else terrifies me
I dont know why Im like this.....but I am. Ive tryed to change....to take pleasure in what I have in life....but I simply cant. Everything always is somehow ruined.....more often than not by me.
I honestly should be happy......I have more than someother people. Maybe Im greedy? Maybe I want the kind of happiness that Ive seen in the movies. Maybe that just doesnt exist. But if that is the case......what do I do if the only thing Ive ever wanted simply isnt real?
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
I am working to try abd stop it, but it's incredibly hard. I feel what you are going through.
Loosing control and REALLY party might help too.
Don't mix up real doctors with the ones they have in the army. It might be worth a try.
If you look at popularity on SG I'm the one that should be depressive, not you
If so many people like you, I don't think there is something wrong with you.