Contents:
1-My Paintings (AdriaSawaCharlieRavenVoltaireSean)
2-THE RICH CREAM OF BUSHWICK
3-Frequently Asked Questions
1-- My Paintings
(print available in the SG store)
(print available in the SG store)
2-THE RICH CREAM OF BUSHWICK
The Rich Cream Of Bushwick
Note to selfwhen milk goes bad do not put it out on the fire escape and leave it there for half a decadeyoull live to regret it.
The landlord is on the fire escape--cleaning it and taking pictures of it.
Why do people want to be Bushwick landlords? It seems like the perfect happy medium between oppressing other people and yourselfyou tell crack mommas they gotta come up with the rent and you crawl out on fire escapes scraping rancid milk-scum off iron grates in July Brooklyn weather.
Rancid milk-scum. Several years old. Plus the bacteria or fungus that it generates.
I really don;t want to write about that for another hourwhat else we got here? I open the nearest book to a random page:
Mike Grell started off the James Bond revivals hoping to revert from the gimmick-ridden format of the later films back to the suave, rather sadistic mood of Ian Flemings originals.
--The Slings and Arrows Comic Guide
Ah, BondJames Bond. Now HE had a job.
What he does NOT have, however, is an entry in the New Biographical Dictionary of Film because hes fictional.
However, Albert Broccoli does.
(Now, I ask you, if you knew nothing about movies and I said Which one of the following names is made up: James Bond or Albert Broccoli? which would you pick? Poor Broccoli.)
Albert Broccoli produced all the James Bond moviesin addition to lesser-known stuff like, say, Cockleshell Heroes and The Gamma People. (Why do those both sound like Troy McClure movies?)
On another page we find here that Eddie Murphy is from right here in Bushwick.
The girl on my bed is trying to get the band of the headphones in between the spikes on her mohawk.
The Biographical Dictionary actually says:
Eddie Murphy is a cow that gives rich cream.
The only other famous person who I know for a fact is from Bushwick is Bushwick Bill of the Geto Boys.
According to The All-Music Guide (3rd Edition) on his second solo album, Bushwick Bill changed his name to Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin The Barbarian Mother-Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir which I will never forgive him for because that was gonna be my rap name.
This fascinating fact is, oddly, not mentioned in the Trouser Press Guide to 90s Rock, which, however, does note that Bushwick Bills song Only God Knows openly admits that underneath all the boasting resides a man who openly confronts his mortality every day
Does living in Bushwick constitute openly confronting your mortality every day?
Mostly I think it means openly confronting little kids who don;t speak english and dont wear pants every day.
Pants that adequately conceal the young people beneath them are extremely unpopular here. Perhaps-related fact: I get a much better response from random strangers here when I answer their Are you a rock star? with No, Im a pornstar then with No, Im a painter.
I have consulted FOUR motherfucking works of reference in the course of this journal entrydo you people realize how hard I am working for you?
Dare I consult yet another? I dare...
The Time Out film guide on Diamonds Are Forever: The films virtues stem mainly from a sense of self-parody, an intelligent script, the deft handling of the Las Vegas locations, and the presence of Jill St. John instead of the usual array of pneumatic androids that super-bureaucrat Bond preys upon.
Yeah, and also, I think, the dune buggy chase.
The James Bond of Bushwick is a man called The Spaniard.
See, to most of these folks, I, along with most of the folks I associate with, am just basically from outer space. Observe adria at the carnival:
But Spain is to the Latin world what England is to white America and therefore, The Spaniardthat dapper fellow who appears from nowhere in shiny shoes at shinier hair at 1 Am in the Chinese take-out on South 8th looking like he has serious matters on his mind and an impeccable Castillian accentis like James Bond.
Really, hes just a painter, like me.
We were having a drink with the Spaniard and, it being soccer season, and he being an expert, he was explaining about elephant soccer in Thailand:
The ball, it is huge and full of patches of black-and-white but they are all fucked-up and dont fit together right and the elephants push with their noses and their faces.
Why cant people gather from all over to crowd into wood-panelled bars and watch THAT on TV?
He is supplied with a trunk, or long hollow cartilage, like a large trumpet, which hangs between his teeth, and serves him for hands; by one blow with his trunk he will kill a camel or horse...
Samuel Johnsons Dictionary, on Elephants.
The Biographical Dictionary on Sean Connerys Bond: He was glossy, supercilious, rather cruel, close to absurdly attractive, and as hard and abstract as the wig he wore.
On the other hand, my roomate, Sean Not-Connery, is as hard and abstract as a duck. He got yet another work of reference for his birthday this week. Just a regular dictionary.
Which makes, like, 30 dictionaries in the house, I have no idea why. Maybe somebody thought we desperately needed one with the word podcast in it.
The birthday party was at one of those Mexican restaurants you cant imagine eating at when its NOT somebodys birthday--a magical Sombrero-laden fiesta-land with balloons everywhere and a short, stocky maniac in a pinstriped suit running ahead of a marachi band pouring tequila down peoples throats and grinning like a rabid boar.
To blot all this out I began looking through Seans brand-new dictionary Snatch...usu vulgar The female pudenda.
Usually vulgar? Is there some circumstance where referring to the female pudenda as snatch isnt vulgar?
I say, Lord Chauncey, I do believe your lady looks rather fetching this eveis her snatch quite tight?
Indeed it is, Lord Faustenhumber, fancy a tumble?
3--Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Where can I see your stuff?
A: In New York, I am represented by these peopleask them. I currently have a show at the San Francisco Museum Of Modern Artit'll be up for a few months.
Q: Do you have any shows coming up in [some place where the member asking the question lives thats not New York or San Francisco]?
A: No.
Q: What are your paintings made of?
A: PAINT. Acrylic paint on white paper. Drawn freehand. That's why they're called paintings.
Q: Where can I get your art book?
A: Well if you are too impatient to order it through the sg store then try going to a book store.
Q: Can I get a print of one of your paintings?
A: Posters of the Charlie and Sawa paintings are available in the sg store.
Q: When/Where can I get your porno movies?
A: VCA/Hustler's Barbed Wire Kiss is out RIGHT NOW!
Go buy it and if you don't want to watch it, give it to your perv uncle or something.
Eon_McKai's flick with me won't be out 'til september--it'll be with Vivid-Alt.
For other flicks, check my site.
When they do come out, a good place to look for them would be in some sort of Adult Video Store. I mean, call me hopelessly idealistic, but thats where Id look. VCA also has an on-line store.
Google works real well for this--google "barbed wire kiss" and "zak sabbath" and a bunch of on-line porno stores will come up.
1-My Paintings (AdriaSawaCharlieRavenVoltaireSean)
2-THE RICH CREAM OF BUSHWICK
3-Frequently Asked Questions
1-- My Paintings
(print available in the SG store)
(print available in the SG store)
2-THE RICH CREAM OF BUSHWICK
The Rich Cream Of Bushwick
Note to selfwhen milk goes bad do not put it out on the fire escape and leave it there for half a decadeyoull live to regret it.
The landlord is on the fire escape--cleaning it and taking pictures of it.
Why do people want to be Bushwick landlords? It seems like the perfect happy medium between oppressing other people and yourselfyou tell crack mommas they gotta come up with the rent and you crawl out on fire escapes scraping rancid milk-scum off iron grates in July Brooklyn weather.
Rancid milk-scum. Several years old. Plus the bacteria or fungus that it generates.
I really don;t want to write about that for another hourwhat else we got here? I open the nearest book to a random page:
Mike Grell started off the James Bond revivals hoping to revert from the gimmick-ridden format of the later films back to the suave, rather sadistic mood of Ian Flemings originals.
--The Slings and Arrows Comic Guide
Ah, BondJames Bond. Now HE had a job.
What he does NOT have, however, is an entry in the New Biographical Dictionary of Film because hes fictional.
However, Albert Broccoli does.
(Now, I ask you, if you knew nothing about movies and I said Which one of the following names is made up: James Bond or Albert Broccoli? which would you pick? Poor Broccoli.)
Albert Broccoli produced all the James Bond moviesin addition to lesser-known stuff like, say, Cockleshell Heroes and The Gamma People. (Why do those both sound like Troy McClure movies?)
On another page we find here that Eddie Murphy is from right here in Bushwick.
The girl on my bed is trying to get the band of the headphones in between the spikes on her mohawk.
The Biographical Dictionary actually says:
Eddie Murphy is a cow that gives rich cream.
The only other famous person who I know for a fact is from Bushwick is Bushwick Bill of the Geto Boys.
According to The All-Music Guide (3rd Edition) on his second solo album, Bushwick Bill changed his name to Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin The Barbarian Mother-Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir which I will never forgive him for because that was gonna be my rap name.
This fascinating fact is, oddly, not mentioned in the Trouser Press Guide to 90s Rock, which, however, does note that Bushwick Bills song Only God Knows openly admits that underneath all the boasting resides a man who openly confronts his mortality every day
Does living in Bushwick constitute openly confronting your mortality every day?
Mostly I think it means openly confronting little kids who don;t speak english and dont wear pants every day.
Pants that adequately conceal the young people beneath them are extremely unpopular here. Perhaps-related fact: I get a much better response from random strangers here when I answer their Are you a rock star? with No, Im a pornstar then with No, Im a painter.
I have consulted FOUR motherfucking works of reference in the course of this journal entrydo you people realize how hard I am working for you?
Dare I consult yet another? I dare...
The Time Out film guide on Diamonds Are Forever: The films virtues stem mainly from a sense of self-parody, an intelligent script, the deft handling of the Las Vegas locations, and the presence of Jill St. John instead of the usual array of pneumatic androids that super-bureaucrat Bond preys upon.
Yeah, and also, I think, the dune buggy chase.
The James Bond of Bushwick is a man called The Spaniard.
See, to most of these folks, I, along with most of the folks I associate with, am just basically from outer space. Observe adria at the carnival:
But Spain is to the Latin world what England is to white America and therefore, The Spaniardthat dapper fellow who appears from nowhere in shiny shoes at shinier hair at 1 Am in the Chinese take-out on South 8th looking like he has serious matters on his mind and an impeccable Castillian accentis like James Bond.
Really, hes just a painter, like me.
We were having a drink with the Spaniard and, it being soccer season, and he being an expert, he was explaining about elephant soccer in Thailand:
The ball, it is huge and full of patches of black-and-white but they are all fucked-up and dont fit together right and the elephants push with their noses and their faces.
Why cant people gather from all over to crowd into wood-panelled bars and watch THAT on TV?
He is supplied with a trunk, or long hollow cartilage, like a large trumpet, which hangs between his teeth, and serves him for hands; by one blow with his trunk he will kill a camel or horse...
Samuel Johnsons Dictionary, on Elephants.
The Biographical Dictionary on Sean Connerys Bond: He was glossy, supercilious, rather cruel, close to absurdly attractive, and as hard and abstract as the wig he wore.
On the other hand, my roomate, Sean Not-Connery, is as hard and abstract as a duck. He got yet another work of reference for his birthday this week. Just a regular dictionary.
Which makes, like, 30 dictionaries in the house, I have no idea why. Maybe somebody thought we desperately needed one with the word podcast in it.
The birthday party was at one of those Mexican restaurants you cant imagine eating at when its NOT somebodys birthday--a magical Sombrero-laden fiesta-land with balloons everywhere and a short, stocky maniac in a pinstriped suit running ahead of a marachi band pouring tequila down peoples throats and grinning like a rabid boar.
To blot all this out I began looking through Seans brand-new dictionary Snatch...usu vulgar The female pudenda.
Usually vulgar? Is there some circumstance where referring to the female pudenda as snatch isnt vulgar?
I say, Lord Chauncey, I do believe your lady looks rather fetching this eveis her snatch quite tight?
Indeed it is, Lord Faustenhumber, fancy a tumble?
3--Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Where can I see your stuff?
A: In New York, I am represented by these peopleask them. I currently have a show at the San Francisco Museum Of Modern Artit'll be up for a few months.
Q: Do you have any shows coming up in [some place where the member asking the question lives thats not New York or San Francisco]?
A: No.
Q: What are your paintings made of?
A: PAINT. Acrylic paint on white paper. Drawn freehand. That's why they're called paintings.
Q: Where can I get your art book?
A: Well if you are too impatient to order it through the sg store then try going to a book store.
Q: Can I get a print of one of your paintings?
A: Posters of the Charlie and Sawa paintings are available in the sg store.
Q: When/Where can I get your porno movies?
A: VCA/Hustler's Barbed Wire Kiss is out RIGHT NOW!
Go buy it and if you don't want to watch it, give it to your perv uncle or something.
Eon_McKai's flick with me won't be out 'til september--it'll be with Vivid-Alt.
For other flicks, check my site.
When they do come out, a good place to look for them would be in some sort of Adult Video Store. I mean, call me hopelessly idealistic, but thats where Id look. VCA also has an on-line store.
Google works real well for this--google "barbed wire kiss" and "zak sabbath" and a bunch of on-line porno stores will come up.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
Me too.