zak0007

As per usual it's a long time since my last visit. Life hasn't gotten any easier although if it was easy then I suppose it would defeat it's purpose. I bought a house, which in itself is a stressful enough process on top of that I'm looking at a career change in the near future. That'll set me back financially for a few years but long run it'll provide a better life. Recently though life in general has taken on a whole new meaning. One of my cousins is currently in the hospital fighting for her life though she's doing better than she was each day she's still here is a hard fought battle. Growing up I was an angry kid and didn't get along with any of my cousins except her. Though we never really spent a lot of time hanging out growing up we always got along. Long story short, I'm scared to lose her. I've told her a I love her and that I'm rooting for her and every time we talk and when I visit her I always get her laughing. I've always been very protective of the people I care about and always do what I can to help out but I'm at a loss. I've never felt so helpless before. I've always been that pillar of fortitude for everyone around me. I've always been as strong as I've needed to be but facing a very strong possibility of losing my cousin, it takes everything from me just to not break down. That sense of helplessness is so overwhelming in spite of of everything I would do and sacrifice to ensure she has a good long life there's nothing I can do.