Instead of drinking and dialing, I got drunk and wrote an email.. Somehow though, I really don't regret it. Every time I see his picture it makes me happy, but it's a bittersweet happiness. I hope we are meant to be. I hope someday I'm strong enough to go back to him and he's strong enough to do things right.
His reply:
"You finaly got to communicate. I thought it would never come to this especially after the last horor moments we had togethrer. Yap, i miss u to big time 2. You don't know how happy i am to see you writing back. It's been a guilty life haunting me since that day i acted like an animal. I thought that i was doing something that would make me a little bit what i wanted to be (free) But i guess i was as wrong as i was. Sounds stupid which actually is but i came to realize that it was the biggest mistake in ma life that i would ever make. I remember those last words you told me, "you'll never find anybody who loves you more like the way i do". Well, they stuck in me en whatever i do, they are alwayz ringing around me. Life is never the same anymore. Now i see it clearly en i am ashamed to say that i regret it.At least you remember me just by looking at the pictures. But it's not the same here coz u r alwayz ringing in ma mind. I dont have to look at no picture to remember someone that i had planned to share ma life with. She's alwayz around me en that's what i made maself believe. en our pic, it's still at the same place it has always been. two dayz ago i walk in ma house en i kept on thinking that there was something missin'. I walked into ma room en the first thing i went for was the file that u made me for ma b-day. Yap, it reminds me of the sweetest moments we ever shared. Seeing us smiling en holding each other shoot lots of memories back en all i could do is wipe off the sadness pilling on me, en try to force maself to go to bed.
I gotta stop writin coz i would never stop if i dont force maself to. That's the way things are over this side. Yeah there are dayz when i have crazy fun with all ma friends but it's not enough. There's alwayz something missin'. Atleast the fear of you not talking to me no more is kinda overshadowed right now en i really cherish that. I miss your sweet voice, your lips, en your everything, that's for sure. Hey, i still love ya en 4 the "blocked calls", none of em is blocked, just disconected from ma service coz of some stupid shit. no big deal. pliz keep in touch"
His reply:
"You finaly got to communicate. I thought it would never come to this especially after the last horor moments we had togethrer. Yap, i miss u to big time 2. You don't know how happy i am to see you writing back. It's been a guilty life haunting me since that day i acted like an animal. I thought that i was doing something that would make me a little bit what i wanted to be (free) But i guess i was as wrong as i was. Sounds stupid which actually is but i came to realize that it was the biggest mistake in ma life that i would ever make. I remember those last words you told me, "you'll never find anybody who loves you more like the way i do". Well, they stuck in me en whatever i do, they are alwayz ringing around me. Life is never the same anymore. Now i see it clearly en i am ashamed to say that i regret it.At least you remember me just by looking at the pictures. But it's not the same here coz u r alwayz ringing in ma mind. I dont have to look at no picture to remember someone that i had planned to share ma life with. She's alwayz around me en that's what i made maself believe. en our pic, it's still at the same place it has always been. two dayz ago i walk in ma house en i kept on thinking that there was something missin'. I walked into ma room en the first thing i went for was the file that u made me for ma b-day. Yap, it reminds me of the sweetest moments we ever shared. Seeing us smiling en holding each other shoot lots of memories back en all i could do is wipe off the sadness pilling on me, en try to force maself to go to bed.
I gotta stop writin coz i would never stop if i dont force maself to. That's the way things are over this side. Yeah there are dayz when i have crazy fun with all ma friends but it's not enough. There's alwayz something missin'. Atleast the fear of you not talking to me no more is kinda overshadowed right now en i really cherish that. I miss your sweet voice, your lips, en your everything, that's for sure. Hey, i still love ya en 4 the "blocked calls", none of em is blocked, just disconected from ma service coz of some stupid shit. no big deal. pliz keep in touch"