zagan

I look out into an Alien sky and wonder if somewhere out there on some burned out galaxy somewhere, another being is looking back at me. I am quite fascinating by the ever expanding universe wondering if on Some lonely world out there, my presence might be welcomed. I wish to leave the boundaries of earth and time behind and travel to distant stars and see distant places far away from ours. Often times I find myself wishing to be whisked away into the great unknown for I have no fondness for this planet and the life that Inhabits it. Ever a victim of my own musings, how I would like to take to the sky and leave everything here in my life behind. Sometimes I feel like a lingering spirit caught in a place and time where I do not belong, bound here by physical existence, but with a mind on a whole different plane. How confusing these thoughts must seem to those who read them, and they even confuse me, yet I cannot confine the to the back of my consciousness today, so they spill out as words on a blank page.
I must admit I am a stickler for anything futuristic and science fiction, always wondering what if? I love T.V. shows like Star Trek, and Star gate always wishing I would fall asleep one night and wake up somewhere truly unique and completely different from everything I know. I love astronomy and Quantum Mechanics, ever interested in what Newtons law has fail to unravel about the smallest particles of our being. Sometimes I wonder if Life and what surrounds us is not really there but merely if we are but a figment of the imagination of some distant mind. Or if on some parallel plane, in some different reality, we exist in an entirely different state from our own Wondering If We will ever be able to break through the barrier that binds us to this place. Then there are times that I wonder if life is just a simulation of itself, If I am trapped in some different world and merely imagine myself being here, as If I was on a holo deck or something.
Existence is always a curiosity of mine, how we came to be here and why, and what happens when it all comes to an end. The easiest explanation that I can logically argue is that when it is all over, it is truly that, completely over. Like animals we fade into the dirt and find peace in our non existence. Then again I question, what if death is truly not the end? I will never argue the existence of a heaven, for such a thing is preposterous, and I have never been raised to believe the Idea behind a heaven. Sometimes thought I wonder if there is a soul and it merely moves to a higher plane of existence than the one that we now know. Maybe into a complete different real an entirely different dimension quite different from our own.
The answers completely elude me, and I will probably never know until I come to my final rest, the great sleep of the non existent. Perhaps the only true immortality we get are the memories people hold of us long after we have left this world, and perhaps not. Death is the great question of the ages, throughout time people have been trying to divine what comes after death, if anything, and I am not different.
I have certain death more than a few times, sometimes its death by someone elses hand, Sometimes my own, and some times that of forces I am unable to explain. However I have managed to doge the final bullet of fate, for my lifeline still runs strong. I however hold no fear of death, whatever is to come will come, and it is an unstoppable force in life. In the end nothing can deliver me from the final blow of my existence, and I await it, although with uncertainty, never with fear. My life has been so far a full one, ripe with hardships and joys, and hopefully will continue for a good time to come. I dont know how I wish to die, sometimes I think a violent death would be a quite fitting end to my story of existence, though, a peaceful never ending sleep sounds more comforting.
My only hope is that there is something else after death, though I probably hope in vain. For an existence after death would finally ease my curiosity, my wondering of what comes next would be eased, for if death is the end I would never know for I would be dead. I am and am not a spiritual person, I believe more in the power of the mind than I do in the power of the spirit. I feel that the mind has the ability to transcend much more than we know for we only use a small percentage of our brains, so who knows what the mind is truly about. Who knows what we harbor deep within our selves. The only answer that I am sure of is that there is no heaven and hell. For the idea of heaven and hell is preposterous, and quite medieval. There are no pearly gates in the sky and no flaming fire pit in the center of the earth that burns horrible souls for eternity.
Heaven and hell are merely a way for people to find a final justice in their existence, except there is no absolute judgment and justice. Merely how things are now are not going to be decided by some bearded man in the sky. Hitler does not sit day in and day out awaiting a pineapple to be shoved in his ass, that I can guarantee. So although the questions may elude me, my mind is filled with adventure and fantasy and my imagination holds no bounds, so whatever is yet to come, although I cannot give a definitive answer, I can speculate on the question and find peace with my own ideas on the subject.