zagan

Today is saturday, Saturdays are usually pretty good days. Its been a bitch of a week, with my parents divorce hearing only a few weeks away the insults and greed has been flying around non stop. My sister, ever like my father is still pouting and acting up about the fact that my mom and I are moving. She has always expressed that she wants to stay here, in this crappy little hell hole outside of sacramento, so thats what were doing leaving her with my father. She tried to come after me a few days ago, which is pretty scary since she is like 5 times my size and plays rugby. In order to stop her charging I picked up a small table and hit her with it until my mother was able to intervene and stop her. She has been being such a bitch lately that I just want to gouge her eyes out. I can't wait until we move, wich will be in mid october. I just want to leave all the shit here behind and escape to someplace where I can work on my own problems and not have to deal with everybody elses.
My father wants to cut off the child support he has to pay for me saying that I am as bad off as my mother thinks I am and that he shouldn't have to pay for a twenty year old. Which is quite hilarious, because every time I try to live on my own I end up back on drugs or drinking because I can't handle mainstream life because of my various mental disorders and personality defects. What I have been trying to do is take some time off so that i can stabalize these problems and better my copeing skills so that I can go back out and start working or going to school again. So whats Zagan's diagnosis? A number of things including Borderline personality disorder, Bi polar disorder and the never ceasing ADHD (which isn't that bad but can be troublesome). Functioning is what I do worst, coping is what I do even worser, and handling stress just puts me down the shitter.
Its sad that my dad just doesn't want to help me out, which I have e mailed him about but have yet to get an answer.
Hopefully this move will help me. At least I will be able to get away from those percarious "friends" of mine that ususally are quite an unhealthy element in my life.
Thats a problem I have, I could walk by ten good stable people, and one nutty fuck up, and I could gaurentee that the one I end up talking to is the nutty fuck up. I am just that good at spotting those people that just can't function either and indulge in those things that often end me up in trouble.
Go me!
Well anyway, I hope that this week gets a bit better, no more pissy sister and disgruntaled parental units. But all I can do is cross my fingers and hope.




My one Friend that is perfect in every way! Missy!