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zaftigg

Rochester, NY

Hopeful Since 2002

Followers 370 Following 216

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Sunday May 14, 2006

May 14, 2006
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"I have sex with dead things to feel alive inside"

I've been beginning to watch some documentaries on Porn Stars, ever since I started reading about Rocco Siffredi...

I have yet to see one well-made, but they all seem to be saying the same thing: These are people who will defend their decisions to the death and scoff at a society that says a woman can't be a sexually rapacious creature when she is dually being objectified. These are people who appear amazingly self-assured on the outside, until you dig a little deeper. They are just as fucked up as the rest of us, but they pretend everything is ok, like most of us.

There's a site that profiles porn stars and listed among the stats are any past incidents of sexual abuse they may have had before they got in the business.

Annabel Chong was gang-raped in a london underground tube station when she was 22. She became famous in porn when she was fucked by 251 men in a 10 hour period. She's also a cutter.

It doesn't take a psychology student.

Women who are scarred and showing you where they hurt to see if you'll accept them.

Thinking about co-creating a documentary about the extreme body modification community with someone who doesn't know much at all about it and is forced to research and look at it from an outsider's perspective. If I make it alone, I'll shape everyone's responses into what a Q & A would look like with myself. I've been thinking about how many people as "why" and it is almost always in disgust and fear. I don't get asked "why" in wonder much anymore. Even if the doc sucks, it'll be able to give that much, no?

My mom's in town tomorrow for a ma' fuckin week, 'yall. Much needed. Spending today cleaning and setting up my room for her. I've been dreaming about home lately. Fancy that.

cl0ck

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