Tale of the Idiot Boss
Soooooooooo during the frenzy that are the weeks leading up to the first week of school and thousands of students spending millions of dollars, the higher ups have elected to change banks... That means changing the software on our registers, but also all of the Interac machines... Sure! No sweat! Z3RO can handle it! He can do anything! We'll just wait 'til the last minute and then say "the Interac machines are here... can you make sure its all up and running by Monday despite the fact that we haven't given you a contact at the new bank, instructions on how to properly setup the new machines or invited you to any of the meetings where you might have had a chance to answer some of these VERY important questions..."
Ok... So a few days of stress and we're almost up and running... NOW the second bomb!
"Oh, by the way... I forgot to setup American Express with the new bank because I am overwhelmingly incompetent at times. So I'd like you to run around and try and figure out how to get that setup with the new bank and have that ready tomorrow despite the fact that you do not have the authority to do so which is evident by the fact that I make $45,000\yr more than you, and while you're doing that I will give you blank open mouth stares when you ask questions like... Who should you ask about our existing Amex Merchant ID? and who can you contact regarding the account..."
"Sure thing boss!"
"Oh yeah... I might not give you the Tuesday off you ask for to help your Girlfriend move because the way things keep popping up we may need you here... So fuck you very much Z... Glad you came in today! Tomorrow I'm gonna cram a pylon up your ass and make you sit in the corner while we force you to crush your own nuts with a pair of rusty pliers"
"Okee dokee Anything else?"
"Well there are a million other things for you look into and get done, and I'm wondering why you aren't getting any of them getting done?"
"Oh, I'm just a lazy fuckup boss that's all. I'll grow another set of arms and clone myself so tomorrow I can do 12 things at a time and be in 2 places at once Sound good?"
"You'd better It's crunch time you know!!!"
So off I went back to my little office where I proceeded to staple my scrotum to my forehead and chew off my own nut sack
The End
- Z
Soooooooooo during the frenzy that are the weeks leading up to the first week of school and thousands of students spending millions of dollars, the higher ups have elected to change banks... That means changing the software on our registers, but also all of the Interac machines... Sure! No sweat! Z3RO can handle it! He can do anything! We'll just wait 'til the last minute and then say "the Interac machines are here... can you make sure its all up and running by Monday despite the fact that we haven't given you a contact at the new bank, instructions on how to properly setup the new machines or invited you to any of the meetings where you might have had a chance to answer some of these VERY important questions..."
Ok... So a few days of stress and we're almost up and running... NOW the second bomb!
"Oh, by the way... I forgot to setup American Express with the new bank because I am overwhelmingly incompetent at times. So I'd like you to run around and try and figure out how to get that setup with the new bank and have that ready tomorrow despite the fact that you do not have the authority to do so which is evident by the fact that I make $45,000\yr more than you, and while you're doing that I will give you blank open mouth stares when you ask questions like... Who should you ask about our existing Amex Merchant ID? and who can you contact regarding the account..."
"Sure thing boss!"
"Oh yeah... I might not give you the Tuesday off you ask for to help your Girlfriend move because the way things keep popping up we may need you here... So fuck you very much Z... Glad you came in today! Tomorrow I'm gonna cram a pylon up your ass and make you sit in the corner while we force you to crush your own nuts with a pair of rusty pliers"
"Okee dokee Anything else?"
"Well there are a million other things for you look into and get done, and I'm wondering why you aren't getting any of them getting done?"
"Oh, I'm just a lazy fuckup boss that's all. I'll grow another set of arms and clone myself so tomorrow I can do 12 things at a time and be in 2 places at once Sound good?"
"You'd better It's crunch time you know!!!"
So off I went back to my little office where I proceeded to staple my scrotum to my forehead and chew off my own nut sack
The End
- Z