Tale of the Bus Farter
Okay, so this morning the bus was fairly packed, and I sat down next to an older woman who was reading a book. I had my back to her mostly 'cause I don't fit into regular bus seats (I'm just too big). So on we go down Wharncliffe, and I smell something a little funny. Not a fart odor per se, but something not quite normal either... I figure "just another strange bus smell". When you have that many people packed into a small space with all their personal smells milling about, youre bound to run into some funk now and then We get a little closer to downtown, and another more pungent blast hits me. This time the woman in front of me turns around and looks at me. I just looked back at her with a bewildered look on my face, yet the older woman beside me remained stone faced and continued to read her book. I tried to ignore the smell, and continued to listen to my MP3 player that was blasting Jesus Built my Hotrod at an almost deafening level. - a side note: There is just something about old school Ministry tunes blasting through your brain early in the morning that really prepares you for a day at the office. After a few more minutes, we were almost down town, and I took off my earphones. Just as I was doing that, the woman, the older granny like woman beside me coughed. As she did this she lifted her ass off the seat and farted! She farted loud enough that I could have heard her with my earphones ON! The foul odor was coming from her! She had been farting all the way from Wharncliffe and Commissioners! AND the people on the bus thought it was me! SHE didnt even flinch! She just licked her thumb, flipped the page, and continued to read her book! I burst out laughing cause it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. This woman lifted her cheek and let out an ass clapper and didnt even so much as bat an eyelash So that is how my morning started, with a good laugh and a nose full of old lady ass chatter
The End
TRUE STORY!!!!
- Z
Okay, so this morning the bus was fairly packed, and I sat down next to an older woman who was reading a book. I had my back to her mostly 'cause I don't fit into regular bus seats (I'm just too big). So on we go down Wharncliffe, and I smell something a little funny. Not a fart odor per se, but something not quite normal either... I figure "just another strange bus smell". When you have that many people packed into a small space with all their personal smells milling about, youre bound to run into some funk now and then We get a little closer to downtown, and another more pungent blast hits me. This time the woman in front of me turns around and looks at me. I just looked back at her with a bewildered look on my face, yet the older woman beside me remained stone faced and continued to read her book. I tried to ignore the smell, and continued to listen to my MP3 player that was blasting Jesus Built my Hotrod at an almost deafening level. - a side note: There is just something about old school Ministry tunes blasting through your brain early in the morning that really prepares you for a day at the office. After a few more minutes, we were almost down town, and I took off my earphones. Just as I was doing that, the woman, the older granny like woman beside me coughed. As she did this she lifted her ass off the seat and farted! She farted loud enough that I could have heard her with my earphones ON! The foul odor was coming from her! She had been farting all the way from Wharncliffe and Commissioners! AND the people on the bus thought it was me! SHE didnt even flinch! She just licked her thumb, flipped the page, and continued to read her book! I burst out laughing cause it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. This woman lifted her cheek and let out an ass clapper and didnt even so much as bat an eyelash So that is how my morning started, with a good laugh and a nose full of old lady ass chatter
The End
TRUE STORY!!!!
- Z
plushmistress:
LOL, that is a great story. Thanks for that, haha.
cottser:
Haha, oh man. Good stuff.