yvoarioch

Today's verse:
"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead..."

The Kama Sutra position for this entry is called The Elephant

Read this below. I snatched it from one of the groups here but it is so classic, so funny, so hurtful and so true I had to share it with you god damn skanks! Enjoy...

LAWS OF THE ETERNALLY DEPRESSED AND CONFUSED

Life sucks. Everyone should do their best to make life a happier place for everyone else, but it never works that way. We all end up going around in our little shells, wanting to get out, but never being let out. And when one of the few other people that could help you to get out of this shell comes along, you fight and kick and scream not to be pulled out. And generally this special person gives up, even though you really want to be pulled out. Thus is life.


We of the eternally depressed and confused, make it our laws:

1) Be cursed

2) Be damned

3) Be cursed and damned if we let anything happy happen to us.

4) Be "just friends" for eternity
A) Have a lot of female friends
B) Watch the above female friends have relationships
C) Not be the male in the above relationships

5) Never know when to ask, and when to wait.
A) Always make the wrong choice.
B) Lose countless friends to the wrong choice

6) Eternally lose countless friends to other relationships

7) Be pitied by all our female friends who think we really do
need a successful relationship.
A) Never have any volunteers for a relationship out of pity
B) When they DO volunteer, get in way over your head even though
you knew it was just a short term fling.
1) Get all depressed about it not going farther, and break up.
2) She dumps her current for you, and you feel guilty for
ruining their relationship, and that ruins your current
relationship.

8) Be attracted to above said female friends, keeping in mind rule
#3

9) Be an eternally nice guy
A) Be respected for being such a nice guy
B) Never even think of hitting on a female
1) Gain even more female friends because of A & B
C) Never have females hit on you, because they respect you

10) You will next encounter the situation which you swore you would
never let yourself get into
A) You will handle the situation wrong
B) At least one person will be hurt
C) This person will probably be you

11) Every time you swear off relationships, something new and
better will come along, and you try again. Only to swear off
relationships again.
A) In trying again, will hurt female and self

12) The only people who will ever like you are people you:
A) Can't stand
B) Are certain are psycho
C) Think are deformed

13) Any normal situation will develop a problem from the list below:
A) Vacation
B) Another guy
C) Another girl
D) Parents
E) Miscommunication
F) Hatred
G) Money / Cash Flow
H) Grades
I) Mental Illness
J) Job/School requires to much time
K) Fired / Flunked out
L) age difference
M) place of residence
N) moving away
1) Starting college
2) Finishing college
3) Long College breaks
4) Parents move
O) Pregnancy
P) Castration
Q) Prison stay (either party)
R) etal...
S) And, if all else fails (or fails to succeed), death will
promptly consume one of the parties involved.

14) If a girl likes us, and we like a girl, then the girl will turn out
to only like us as a friend, and then because she does not want
to hurt us (because we are so respectable), they want to be
delicate. BUT, they are too delicate, and end up leading us on.

15) Never get your hopes up, it won't happen.

16) Expect the best, your going to be upset by the outcome anyway,
so you might as well get some enjoyment out of the situation.

17) If anything good should ever happen to us we will not be able to
handle it and will blow the situation.

18) Continually have female friends get boyfriends, disappear off
the face of the planet for a while, then when they break up
have them come running back to their "secure" person, until
they get another boyfriend.

19) Have the ability to read other people's emotions, but have NO
ability to read other people's emotions about us.
A) Tend to see more emotions than there are
B) Tend to mistake friends for relationships
C) Hurt self and others with mistakes

20) Playing must be light and with friends, anything more
serious is
A) A mistake
B) You regret it
C) Costs you a friend

21) If things appear to be going all right, you will start thinking about the
relationship, and in thinking about it you will start to stress and
worry about the future of the relationship, and in worrying and
stressing, you will destroy any happiness you might have been able to
get out of the involvement.

22) If you happen to find someone that you are really interested in, you will
try to get to know them slowly, as you want to be friends first. Once
you've managed to get up the guts to ask them out though, they've
started going out with someone else.
A) They are offended by your interest, and you lose the friendship.

23) Since our emotional state is so unstable, any affection shown to us will
attract us to that person like a lost puppy following someone home.
A) The person followed will have no idea we are following them.
b) We will torment ourselves over attracting this person, and fail
miserably.

24) It is our fault:
A) It has happened so many times, it must be our fault
B) They are so perfect, it couldn't be their fault

25) Should anything good happen to us, we will first be very wary,
and scared, and then everything will seem all right. Then all
our original fears will come true in addition to any above
mentioned rule that applies. Then we will be unhappy once
again.

The From-Me-to-You songs for the moment:
"A Song for Dead Time" by The Swans
"The Scientist" by Coldplay for LuluMae
"3 Libras" by A Perfect Circle and "Lover You Should Have Come Over" by Jeff Buckley for JenniRae
and
"A Funny Time of Year" by Beth Gibbons and "True Love Waits" by Radiohead for brainfreeze