Slightly Surreal Storytime, brought to you today by Seymour Butts.
So I get to work yesterday morning and my boss isn't there yet, so I sit outside and have a cigarette. Two customers show up a little early, but soon my boss is there and we go inside, turn off the alarm, turn on the lights, and tell the two women they're welcome to come in if they don't mind us setting up as we get their tea and orders.
Literally 60 seconds later an unmarked cop car wails up out of the blue and onto the sidewalk, right in front of the restaurant. Like right in front, with just enough space to walk around the car. They're chasing these two crackheads, who also came out of nowhere. Seriously, we were standing right there a moment earlier and neither saw nor heard anything.
So there's yelling, and backpack grabbing, and handcuffing, and all that. Of course I'm totally not doing much, focusing on the action outside. But so are the customers.
Soon enough the waitress comes and I crack up as she comes in with a huge WTF look on her face. I fill her in and the next this we see is suddenly the male cop has the male crackhead facedown on the car hood and the female cop is coming around with latex gloves. Yup, you guess it... cavity search time! It was one of those "EW but can't not look" situations... at least I didn't see any butthole. Just butt crack.
But then! The crackhead starts seizing and collapses and the cops are holding his head and his body and we're like "WTF x10, where's the ambulance? Should we call 911? But 911 is kind of already there..." His friend is screaming "What the fuck did you do him?" at the cops and we're assuming he swallowed his stash or something. But soon enough the crackhead is back up and the cops try to keep him seated.
Eventually an ambulance shows up too, and some poor sap who'd phoned in a take out order and was totally caught off guard by the action right outside, and the crackheads go off with the EMTs and one cop while the other drives off in the car.
This all took about half an hour. It was quite a show... I wonder what today will bring?
(x-posted from a BC group, sorry guys I'll have a new story for you soon!)
So I get to work yesterday morning and my boss isn't there yet, so I sit outside and have a cigarette. Two customers show up a little early, but soon my boss is there and we go inside, turn off the alarm, turn on the lights, and tell the two women they're welcome to come in if they don't mind us setting up as we get their tea and orders.
Literally 60 seconds later an unmarked cop car wails up out of the blue and onto the sidewalk, right in front of the restaurant. Like right in front, with just enough space to walk around the car. They're chasing these two crackheads, who also came out of nowhere. Seriously, we were standing right there a moment earlier and neither saw nor heard anything.
So there's yelling, and backpack grabbing, and handcuffing, and all that. Of course I'm totally not doing much, focusing on the action outside. But so are the customers.
Soon enough the waitress comes and I crack up as she comes in with a huge WTF look on her face. I fill her in and the next this we see is suddenly the male cop has the male crackhead facedown on the car hood and the female cop is coming around with latex gloves. Yup, you guess it... cavity search time! It was one of those "EW but can't not look" situations... at least I didn't see any butthole. Just butt crack.
But then! The crackhead starts seizing and collapses and the cops are holding his head and his body and we're like "WTF x10, where's the ambulance? Should we call 911? But 911 is kind of already there..." His friend is screaming "What the fuck did you do him?" at the cops and we're assuming he swallowed his stash or something. But soon enough the crackhead is back up and the cops try to keep him seated.
Eventually an ambulance shows up too, and some poor sap who'd phoned in a take out order and was totally caught off guard by the action right outside, and the crackheads go off with the EMTs and one cop while the other drives off in the car.
This all took about half an hour. It was quite a show... I wonder what today will bring?
(x-posted from a BC group, sorry guys I'll have a new story for you soon!)
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
ron4164:
Life is grand, sometimes! 
jameswyper:
That's surreal. Hope the rest of your day was more peaceful. 