Because nothin goes with dinner like debilitating hippie rage...
Disclaimer: I don't actually hate hippies. They're simply my scape goat of choice this evening. <\disclaimer>
I got a nice chicken and quinoa based salad this evening was actually looking forward to not cooking and having something tasty to chill on. As I'm embarking upon fat bastard bliss I come upon something enfuriating. The taste of wood with the texture of thistle; better known as Kale or Hippie Bait.
Check it; if you're the reason this shit is in my salad I'm angry with you and your life. Stop it! This shit sucks. Admit it, even you don't like it. Tasteless and painful to chew. It's not a, "superfood," which for the record is not actually a thing. It's a marketing term not actually recognized by science. It's just a giant thistly turd.
In conclusion, eat a dick Kale.
