so, I've had a lot of things pointed out to me by various people lately... these are people that know me well so I'm trying to take their observations to heart and be constructive instead of continuing on the self-destructive path I find myself on...
Things I need to work on...
Not drinking so damn much!! And certainly not alone... this is what I was doing a year and a half ago. Not the best way to deal with life. It's easy but not best...
Normally I'm a very clean person, my place is always together (with the exception of my desk) yet I have lived in my new place for three weeks and it still looks like shit. Boxes everywhere, dishes in the sink, no garbage can yet so lots of assorted brown bags with various types of trash...
I still make my bed though... of course that's pretty easy as it's a huge bed and I only take up about a quarter of it. That and the other side is covered in clean laundry (has been for a week).
Haven't been exercising or eating properly. I've lost a bunch of weight... down to 140lbs (YIKES!!)
Haven't been to Martial Arts training in a year (at least)... I really need to start that up again. Not that I have any illusions of being some tough guy... just love the training and feel really good when I'm doing it...
Slacking on my job, not doing the paperwork or reception stuff... not that I was ever very good at that part... well, I used to be better at the paperwork but that was before I actually had a shop.
Haven't been a very good friend to quite a few people, uncommunicative, vague or just not responsive to the needs of others... not staying in touch. Distant.
Haven't been to therapy in almost a year, haven't even seen my psychiatrist in 5 months... of course he's gone now and I need to start over with a new one
aaaaaaand, I had the brilliant idea of coming off the meds, on my own, while I'm doing all this other crap... smart, eh?
So, there's more but I'm getting tired of typing and I'm nervous about posting all this. I think that maybe putting this out there will give me more of a push to get back on track...
Thank You to those who've been making me eat, continue with the meds, get my business together, look at what I have and (attempting to) stop feeling sorry for myself (so lame).
Now, to stop hurting others and try to act right instead of acting wrong. Right speech, Right action...
I haven't been to meditation in three weeks either... time to start that again... every other week!
erm, that is all...
I must say though that not all is bad...
*how long will this entry stay up before I delete it?*
Things I need to work on...
Not drinking so damn much!! And certainly not alone... this is what I was doing a year and a half ago. Not the best way to deal with life. It's easy but not best...
Normally I'm a very clean person, my place is always together (with the exception of my desk) yet I have lived in my new place for three weeks and it still looks like shit. Boxes everywhere, dishes in the sink, no garbage can yet so lots of assorted brown bags with various types of trash...
I still make my bed though... of course that's pretty easy as it's a huge bed and I only take up about a quarter of it. That and the other side is covered in clean laundry (has been for a week).
Haven't been exercising or eating properly. I've lost a bunch of weight... down to 140lbs (YIKES!!)
Haven't been to Martial Arts training in a year (at least)... I really need to start that up again. Not that I have any illusions of being some tough guy... just love the training and feel really good when I'm doing it...
Slacking on my job, not doing the paperwork or reception stuff... not that I was ever very good at that part... well, I used to be better at the paperwork but that was before I actually had a shop.
Haven't been a very good friend to quite a few people, uncommunicative, vague or just not responsive to the needs of others... not staying in touch. Distant.
Haven't been to therapy in almost a year, haven't even seen my psychiatrist in 5 months... of course he's gone now and I need to start over with a new one
aaaaaaand, I had the brilliant idea of coming off the meds, on my own, while I'm doing all this other crap... smart, eh?
So, there's more but I'm getting tired of typing and I'm nervous about posting all this. I think that maybe putting this out there will give me more of a push to get back on track...
Thank You to those who've been making me eat, continue with the meds, get my business together, look at what I have and (attempting to) stop feeling sorry for myself (so lame).
Now, to stop hurting others and try to act right instead of acting wrong. Right speech, Right action...
I haven't been to meditation in three weeks either... time to start that again... every other week!
erm, that is all...
I must say though that not all is bad...
*how long will this entry stay up before I delete it?*
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
You're going to be just fine. This is a good start. You have so many people that love, support and are available to you whenever you need them to be. You're not alone and that is definitely something. Not everyone has the choice to be by alone, and I know you know that and you don't take advantage of the fact that you have that choice.
Yeah, and you are ame. Super ame.
And no, it's not all bad.