My computer has been hijacked!
I've been invaded by one of those new-ish virus/trojan horse/spyware douchebag deals where they put their shit on my system and I can't remove it or use the internet!
I'm using my buddy's computer right now. I got that Norton Antivirus thing and it cleaned off a bunch of shit but that Spy-Axe program won't die! Even with bleach! 
Oh, well. I've got the bestest beef jerky in the universe!!! It comes from a 90+ year-old butcher shop deep in the heart of german-czech country Kansas. Life in this respect is good.
I've been invaded by one of those new-ish virus/trojan horse/spyware douchebag deals where they put their shit on my system and I can't remove it or use the internet!
I'm using my buddy's computer right now. I got that Norton Antivirus thing and it cleaned off a bunch of shit but that Spy-Axe program won't die! Even with bleach!
Oh, well. I've got the bestest beef jerky in the universe!!! It comes from a 90+ year-old butcher shop deep in the heart of german-czech country Kansas. Life in this respect is good.
girly:
Everything is fine. I'll explain the surgery, but not online. 