Brain Food
It's late at night (or early in the morning) and I'm still packing at a slow pace, in preparation for the bedbug bombing to come. I have my Multiverse File up, tinkering with it like I always do when I need a distraction to keep me going during the day. I was finishing up a 4th edition GURPS write-up of a character I...
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Correction
"Never seen it. Where you moving? There are 72 Goetic demons, not 77. 77 ain't shit for symbolism other than two 7's and fuck that. Judging from the rest of your angsty teenage blog I'd say you just about nailed the theory of Goetics if not the concepts or the mechanics. That entry was like what Alan Moore would do to Spider Man if...
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Goetic
The beginning of October, 2011.
I was laying on a hospital bed, twitching. I don't know how I got there. It was glowing and dark in the room, in my confused state I imagine the lights flickering on and off.
My skin felt cracked..like sandpaper. I couldn't speak, only growl. There wasn't any fluid left in my body for speaking, just enough to keep...
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The beginning of October, 2011.
I was laying on a hospital bed, twitching. I don't know how I got there. It was glowing and dark in the room, in my confused state I imagine the lights flickering on and off.
My skin felt cracked..like sandpaper. I couldn't speak, only growl. There wasn't any fluid left in my body for speaking, just enough to keep...
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As Good as it Gets
Yesterday I went to the Brown Cancer Center fro my usual once-every-two-weeks visit to get a refill of B neg and my monthly chat with the doctor. I had been feeling pretty awful for the past few days, moreso than I had in a while, because my blood had run lower due to the procrit experiment. I saw my Dr.,...
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thebeliever:
If I were in a similar boat, I would probably spend half my time just trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is my reality. (I guess I kind of do that now, anyways, come to think of it...) I guess the more you're able to look at things directly, the better you'll be able to grapple with them. (Tho escapism can have its charms...)
_smurfzilla_:
<3
you're one of the toughest people i know. hopefully you get some answers that are helpful. Now I want to google/wiki Alport Syndrone. Ive never heard of it before.
you're one of the toughest people i know. hopefully you get some answers that are helpful. Now I want to google/wiki Alport Syndrone. Ive never heard of it before.
Lazy Sunday
My head is still clear. I had one two-day freak-out since beginning my new meds, but otherwise I've felt fine without incident. I have spent the weekend drawing and writing while my incomplete knowledge of eighties music haphazardly searches youtube for music to art to. The cleared head solves the problem I was having that made me the most upset, out of several...
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thebeliever:
I/r/t the sheep-mask pin-up: I'm far too much of a gentleman --and far too lazy-- to post that picture. (It's also fairly chaste, and more art-y than erotic.)
I've always thought that soundtracks and scores would be good to write to, though they may set the tone a bit too strongly. I dunno. What do you use now?
I've always thought that soundtracks and scores would be good to write to, though they may set the tone a bit too strongly. I dunno. What do you use now?
_smurfzilla_:
furry comics tend to be interesting! lol
and you may be hearing from me asking for advice.. he's never been on meds before for depression.. and he may also have aspbergers syndrome. he's so scared of them somehow "changing" him into someone else. he's talking to the doctors while he's in to see if they can run some tests to see if he has it.. he's also applying for medical aid.. so I'm hoping everything works out okay. you're pretty much the authority on being able to navigate the system.. so if i need help trying to figure stuff out, you'll be hearing from me.
right now were taking it one step at a time.
and you may be hearing from me asking for advice.. he's never been on meds before for depression.. and he may also have aspbergers syndrome. he's so scared of them somehow "changing" him into someone else. he's talking to the doctors while he's in to see if they can run some tests to see if he has it.. he's also applying for medical aid.. so I'm hoping everything works out okay. you're pretty much the authority on being able to navigate the system.. so if i need help trying to figure stuff out, you'll be hearing from me.
right now were taking it one step at a time.
Big Brown Room
My new psychiatrists' room is an earthy brown, in contrast to the cool blue room that I went to over at the Seminary. It is also smaller, although it seems larger to my mind. After I am led to the Big Brown Room by my overly-cheerful psychiatrist, I sit down against the wall not five feet from where her desk is. Other...
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thebeliever:
Good luck with figuring out the correct chemical cocktail. I've had some experience with that process, and know how alternately relief- and anxiety-inducing it can be ("Finally, I've found something that fuckin works! I can be relatively sane!" then when your body gets used to it, or the side effects become more pronounced, "Sheee-it. Back to the drawing board. My life is ridiculous.")
And if that reference is to me, I'm very, very glad. Also, feeling very famous. Sure, it's low-level fame, but I'll take what I can get. [puts on star-shaped sunglasses]
And if that reference is to me, I'm very, very glad. Also, feeling very famous. Sure, it's low-level fame, but I'll take what I can get. [puts on star-shaped sunglasses]
Goldfish Tunnel
I am in college, driving a small go-cart towards a building on campus. The building I'm driving towards has some sort of construction going on, and I groan audibly at this. I must get this go-cart to the lower levels of the building, it is imperative. I will be horribly off schedule if I cannot get this go-cart to the lower levels of...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
thebeliever:
Holy shit, good call on Danzig/Wolverine. I never made the connecton before... makes me wonder what else I've been missing...
_smurfzilla_:
O_o
you good sir dream some crazy dreams.
you good sir dream some crazy dreams.
April Eighteenth
I wake up in the morning, shifting off of a the couch. My eyes flutter open, my bladder is full- a built-in alarm clock, if you will. The bupropion I've been taking for the last week has the happy effect of clearing the mental 'fog' from my head that plagued me for so much of my sickness, but my physical body remains unaffected....
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_smurfzilla_:
good lord man! you realize id be flipping all sorts of crazy shit if i had to manage everything you have to. you're a lot stronger than i think you realize.
im glad stuff is slowly sorting itself out for you.
i admit I'm guilty of the asking people out to lunch/dinner.. but if i ask and i know they're short on cash i expect to pay for them. i value the company of others and trying to get them out and about and cheer them up.
any luck with them figuring out your anemia?
good luck with the dermatologist!
hang in there.
im glad stuff is slowly sorting itself out for you.
i admit I'm guilty of the asking people out to lunch/dinner.. but if i ask and i know they're short on cash i expect to pay for them. i value the company of others and trying to get them out and about and cheer them up.
any luck with them figuring out your anemia?
good luck with the dermatologist!
hang in there.
thebeliever:
That is probably the best blog entry I've read on SG. My favorite lines: Is it possible to be jealous of cancer patients? This is how absurd my life has gotten.
Turning pain and ennui and everyday absurditiy into something cohesive and thought-provoking. Thank you.
Turning pain and ennui and everyday absurditiy into something cohesive and thought-provoking. Thank you.
I'm back. Missed this place.
I have my disability benefits back, judge ruled in my favor now that I almost died twice last year in emergency rooms. I have my medical insurance back. I'm still dealing with the never-ending piles of bills, trying to decipher how much of the damage can be contained with my insurance returned to me.
Life is still pretty stressful. I'm...
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I have my disability benefits back, judge ruled in my favor now that I almost died twice last year in emergency rooms. I have my medical insurance back. I'm still dealing with the never-ending piles of bills, trying to decipher how much of the damage can be contained with my insurance returned to me.
Life is still pretty stressful. I'm...
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thebeliever:
I'm-a treat you like Kotter, and welcome you back.
_smurfzilla_:
i like bugging you on whatever site your on.
i liked the series. when the shop gets more in ill grab a copy to ship you. ^_^
i really hope the docs figure out what the heck is up with your blood soon. it always sounds scary.
i liked the series. when the shop gets more in ill grab a copy to ship you. ^_^
i really hope the docs figure out what the heck is up with your blood soon. it always sounds scary.
In the next few days, I think my years SG membership is going to run out. I hope to purchase it again when I'm able, but of course money is really tight right now. I've made a few friends from here to facebook, and I'll still be there if any of the rest of you would like to friend me there as well-
Yevla's Facebook
thebeliever:
I always like reading your blog, even when it's sad. Friend request sent on FB.