Lazy Sunday
My head is still clear. I had one two-day freak-out since beginning my new meds, but otherwise I've felt fine without incident. I have spent the weekend drawing and writing while my incomplete knowledge of eighties music haphazardly searches youtube for music to art to. The cleared head solves the problem I was having that made me the most upset, out of several...
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Big Brown Room
My new psychiatrists' room is an earthy brown, in contrast to the cool blue room that I went to over at the Seminary. It is also smaller, although it seems larger to my mind. After I am led to the Big Brown Room by my overly-cheerful psychiatrist, I sit down against the wall not five feet from where her desk is. Other...
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thebeliever:
Good luck with figuring out the correct chemical cocktail. I've had some experience with that process, and know how alternately relief- and anxiety-inducing it can be ("Finally, I've found something that fuckin works! I can be relatively sane!" then when your body gets used to it, or the side effects become more pronounced, "Sheee-it. Back to the drawing board. My life is ridiculous.")
And if that reference is to me, I'm very, very glad. Also, feeling very famous. Sure, it's low-level fame, but I'll take what I can get. [puts on star-shaped sunglasses]
And if that reference is to me, I'm very, very glad. Also, feeling very famous. Sure, it's low-level fame, but I'll take what I can get. [puts on star-shaped sunglasses]
Goldfish Tunnel
I am in college, driving a small go-cart towards a building on campus. The building I'm driving towards has some sort of construction going on, and I groan audibly at this. I must get this go-cart to the lower levels of the building, it is imperative. I will be horribly off schedule if I cannot get this go-cart to the lower levels of...
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thebeliever:
Holy shit, good call on Danzig/Wolverine. I never made the connecton before... makes me wonder what else I've been missing...
_smurfzilla_:
O_o
you good sir dream some crazy dreams.
you good sir dream some crazy dreams.
April Eighteenth
I wake up in the morning, shifting off of a the couch. My eyes flutter open, my bladder is full- a built-in alarm clock, if you will. The bupropion I've been taking for the last week has the happy effect of clearing the mental 'fog' from my head that plagued me for so much of my sickness, but my physical body remains unaffected....
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_smurfzilla_:
good lord man! you realize id be flipping all sorts of crazy shit if i had to manage everything you have to. you're a lot stronger than i think you realize.
im glad stuff is slowly sorting itself out for you.
i admit I'm guilty of the asking people out to lunch/dinner.. but if i ask and i know they're short on cash i expect to pay for them. i value the company of others and trying to get them out and about and cheer them up.
any luck with them figuring out your anemia?
good luck with the dermatologist!
hang in there.
im glad stuff is slowly sorting itself out for you.
i admit I'm guilty of the asking people out to lunch/dinner.. but if i ask and i know they're short on cash i expect to pay for them. i value the company of others and trying to get them out and about and cheer them up.
any luck with them figuring out your anemia?
good luck with the dermatologist!
hang in there.
thebeliever:
That is probably the best blog entry I've read on SG. My favorite lines: Is it possible to be jealous of cancer patients? This is how absurd my life has gotten.
Turning pain and ennui and everyday absurditiy into something cohesive and thought-provoking. Thank you.
Turning pain and ennui and everyday absurditiy into something cohesive and thought-provoking. Thank you.
I'm back. Missed this place.
I have my disability benefits back, judge ruled in my favor now that I almost died twice last year in emergency rooms. I have my medical insurance back. I'm still dealing with the never-ending piles of bills, trying to decipher how much of the damage can be contained with my insurance returned to me.
Life is still pretty stressful. I'm...
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I have my disability benefits back, judge ruled in my favor now that I almost died twice last year in emergency rooms. I have my medical insurance back. I'm still dealing with the never-ending piles of bills, trying to decipher how much of the damage can be contained with my insurance returned to me.
Life is still pretty stressful. I'm...
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thebeliever:
I'm-a treat you like Kotter, and welcome you back.
_smurfzilla_:
i like bugging you on whatever site your on.
i liked the series. when the shop gets more in ill grab a copy to ship you. ^_^
i really hope the docs figure out what the heck is up with your blood soon. it always sounds scary.
i liked the series. when the shop gets more in ill grab a copy to ship you. ^_^
i really hope the docs figure out what the heck is up with your blood soon. it always sounds scary.
In the next few days, I think my years SG membership is going to run out. I hope to purchase it again when I'm able, but of course money is really tight right now. I've made a few friends from here to facebook, and I'll still be there if any of the rest of you would like to friend me there as well-
Yevla's Facebook
thebeliever:
I always like reading your blog, even when it's sad. Friend request sent on FB.
Dream Diary- Bleed
I'm in high school again. High school in this dream is represented by a long maze of dimly lit corridors, saturated with dull whites, greys, and blues. I walk into a room, and Shannon is there, along with some of my friends (no one in particular that I can remember, just the sort of generic, background noise a brain generates for a...
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Today I will gorge myself on fattening foods that I am still allowed to have, and hang with my ginger twin Jaime and her family. This is my plan.
Life's not all bad. Pass the pie.
_smurfzilla_:
yay!
Update- End of November
I was originally going to write another blog entry tied to the last one, about being in the hospital for anemia, but my thoughts are still scrambled and I was never ever to put it together. After waking up and spitting blood into Gerards sink, he and Brian rushed me to the ER of Norton Downtown. After they spent an exceedingly...
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(This is my first blog entry in a long time, I wrote it before going to the hospital this past weekend. I'm working on another one about the hospital visit, 'Little White Room')
Little Blue Room: Anemia & Hope
I get off the tarc bus, pause, and take a deep breath. I haven't been to therapy in a couple of weeks, due to a nicely...
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_smurfzilla_:
your story is one of the ones that makes me angry and upset that this country doesn't have universal health coverage. seriously. no one should go through everything that you do and worry like you do.
are there any foods you can eat that would help you to absorb iron more efficiently?
and good luck with the job! records keeping really helps any business. and it sounds like you've got a knack for it. and trust me.. when they're looking to find things and you can remember how to find them when no one else can.. you're their hero. ^_^
how long before you know if its a permanent job for you?
are there any foods you can eat that would help you to absorb iron more efficiently?
and good luck with the job! records keeping really helps any business. and it sounds like you've got a knack for it. and trust me.. when they're looking to find things and you can remember how to find them when no one else can.. you're their hero. ^_^
how long before you know if its a permanent job for you?
Today is my birthday. I am 34 today.
Huzzah.
drocculari:
Happy birthday!
Panic Attack
I think I had a panic attack today. At least I think it was a panic attack. No one has ever really described a panic attack to me, so I didn't have a lot to go by.
8:33 AM- I am at the bus stop. I see on my phone that the bus was supposed to have come at 8:25ish. I got out...
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I think I had a panic attack today. At least I think it was a panic attack. No one has ever really described a panic attack to me, so I didn't have a lot to go by.
8:33 AM- I am at the bus stop. I see on my phone that the bus was supposed to have come at 8:25ish. I got out...
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_smurfzilla_:
train wreck days suck. but in the words of the hitchhikers guide "don't panic".
and don't feel bad about your coworker giving you a lift. if he was worried about gas then he wouldn't have offered. i have arguments with chris over things like that all the time. even though he has his own car, it gets horrendous mileage. i drive a diesel jetta. i get 40+ without even trying. but he keeps feeling bad.
writing lists out and breaking down big tasks into smaller ones always helps me out. then i feel good for getting little things on the list done.
hang in there.. and I'm jealous of you getting to go to gen con!
and don't feel bad about your coworker giving you a lift. if he was worried about gas then he wouldn't have offered. i have arguments with chris over things like that all the time. even though he has his own car, it gets horrendous mileage. i drive a diesel jetta. i get 40+ without even trying. but he keeps feeling bad.
writing lists out and breaking down big tasks into smaller ones always helps me out. then i feel good for getting little things on the list done.
hang in there.. and I'm jealous of you getting to go to gen con!
_smurfzilla_:
i do know sort of how that feels. i am terrified of phone calls.. i don't know why but answering/ having to make phone calls or even check my voicemail scares me. for something as simple as calling to confirm a doctors appointment takes several days of glaring at my phone and partially dialing the number until i finally do it.. and its automated. -_-
I've always thought that soundtracks and scores would be good to write to, though they may set the tone a bit too strongly. I dunno. What do you use now?
and you may be hearing from me asking for advice.. he's never been on meds before for depression.. and he may also have aspbergers syndrome. he's so scared of them somehow "changing" him into someone else. he's talking to the doctors while he's in to see if they can run some tests to see if he has it.. he's also applying for medical aid.. so I'm hoping everything works out okay. you're pretty much the authority on being able to navigate the system.. so if i need help trying to figure stuff out, you'll be hearing from me.
right now were taking it one step at a time.