In the life of
Hello there. You look busy. Well since youre here let me tell you a tale of intrigue, laze, revenge, and absurdity. It all started when a good friend of mine, that goes by the colorful moniker of Eric Thomas Craven, told me about a delightful fun filled show being put on by Propagandhi in the bustling town of NYC. Oh and not just one, but two performances one day after another. I said to him, Well my lord Eric, this could be quiet the good time!
So days go and pass. The time of merriment closes in. He still had not purchased the tickets. Well after a few more days the second show had been sold out. But the first was still hot for the trot. So he fandangled his computation device and voil the tickets were purchased and we were on our way. I do believe now is a good time to mention that a female party had been added to our adventure. One spry young lass by the name Amanda Blaine.
We had a most uneventful journey listening to what would be awaiting us later that night and arriving at the miss Kristin Forces Brooklyn apartment at around 1:30 in the PM. Now for those unaware of the troubles and tribulations surrounding the elusive public bathroom situation. It is near impossible to, oh how do I put it, ah yes pop a squat in this fare city. Unless you have a catheter bag with accessories or the bladder control of a camel you are bound to run into trouble at some point. Well we had neither and the mounting need of relieving facilities were becoming apparent. So Amanda found the courage to brave into a building and urinate inside the entrance to some unfortunate blokes apartment building. My friend Eric has the courage of many lions as he easily sprayed his foul liquid onto an unwitting sidewalk in the presence of a fine Arabic gentleman. Making him step over his stream of defiance in order to continue on his path. Well I, having the inability for the most part to pee pee in public arenas, was forced to come up with a masterful plan to rid my lower body of the uncomfortable pressure that was slowly increasing. Ruffling through the refuse in my back seat I come upon a nicely sized cup and decide it is as good a place as any to relieve myself of this burden. And as I, with just my cup of shame positioned myself in that of a jockey ridding a mighty steed in my drivers seat, proceeded to wee into this cup as a deliciously beautiful woman walked by.
After eating a super satisfying and delicious paper thin peanut butter sandwich.
We got lost. Yet we found where all the toxicity in Brooklyn drains too and got yelled at for looking like we were going to piss in it, or commit suicide. We realized our blunder and then ventured into the great city of Manhattan to get some fine delicious coffee at Fika. Then we ventured on over to the Apple store where we perused the selection and Eric decided to clog their toilet with his mighty bowels. Well we are all hungry and go on a lengthy search for a fine yet cheap eatery. Down a dimly lit, damp, and crooked alley we find a nice asian establishment. They had the BEST generic Chinese food Ive ever had and my first taste of sushi. Which wasnt too bad, I think I just like cooked food. Then it was off to our predetermined destination of Propagandhi at the Highline Ballroom. Outside we were treated like royalty and escorted right to the front of the line. If you saw most of these people you would think your headed to a gutter punk show in the basement of a blokes townhouse. So many Oi! Patches and crimson ghosts. But upon entrance youd think it was a fraternity disco. And Im not giving you the run around here, two disco balls! And each jock had 3 popped collars. Until they retired there wears to reveal mustard and sweat stained wife beaters. The unbelievable part you might not be aware of is that they all knew every word to the songs off of this bands newest release. Singing along like they were lifting many weights getting ready for the big game. And not concerned nor caring at all the overall message behind any of the songs they had to pay to hear live. Now I am very appreciative of Propagandhi and recognize the message they convey. Yet I choose to eat things of the meat persuasion. But I digress, the show was excellent. Then it was off and back to Brooklyn to bed down in what seemed like an un-welcomed house. Where I managed to PASS OUT with incredible speed.
As day broke I was struck with a mighty hunger that I knew only a 5 star restaurant could fend off. Lucky for me that I knew of a McDonalds two blocks away. So with my just downloaded new Smodcast I trudged out. And this was a Friday, so at such an early hour it is necessary to move ones vehicle so that the fine sanitation crew can clean up these fair streets. After about 10 minutes to move my car around the corner I embark on foot. Sitting and enjoying some good Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier dialog and a fat bacon egg and cheese with coffee the size of your head, I feel content. After about 20 minutes I head out to move my car back to its previous, now legal, position. In my head can be heard Man this is fucking great! I cant wait to live here. I just might wake up early on purpose to do this. But my hopes were quickly dashed when I see this on my car.
Accompanying it was a 45 dollar fine. A fine, in that which if I were 6 minutes sooner would not have gotten. Fuck you New York City. Or rather fuck you Brooklyn and your modest idea of sanitation. I could walk 300 hundred feet from where I stood and gotten cancer from the dust spewed up from trucks on the same city streets. God damn it. At least I had about 25 minutes of boring life humor still in this Smodcast. After listening to it and finishing my coffee I lumbered back up to our abode and waited for my party to awake. After some quick and whispered words me and Eric joined each other in the smallest bathroom I have ever been privy to, to keep each other company.
Letting this small part of NYCs seedy nightlife out of my body we left to see the sights as they say. We headed to a favorite spot of ours known as St. Marks Place. Great pizza, and great atmosphere. On the way we found a Salvation Army and just had to see what wears we could find in this hole in the wall. And I did! This little beauty for only one American dollar!
We then got to St. Marks and perused some fine zaa and then went down to Kims Place so I could see the new layout. On our way there we ran into Search and Destroy. A punk thrift store. This small asian woman working was very enamored by my jacket and was asking me all about it. When a song came on that I wondered if was new. She didnt even know who it was. So I decided to stop talking to her. But I did find these nifty little buggers that they dont sell in my neck of the woods anymore because of people who text message.
So we made it down to Kims and what would ya know? It was less then adequate. No where NEAR the selection they once had, and neither the vibe. Well now I needed a pick me up so we headed back to Trash and Vaudeville. Another punk/under appreciated clothing store conveniently across of Search And Destroy. On our adventure back we happened upon some old world New York City hate. Nothing says fuck you and your whole family like a nicely wiped wad of feces on you car windshield.
Ahhhh, the city of dreams. Well we got to Trash And Vaudeville where after some debate I purchased this little beauty. After 4-5 years of listening and loving them I figured it was about time to buy one of there finely tailored apparel. So I picked the most generic one.
We then walked around for a good 3-4 hours and found one of the best fifty foot scrolling marquees Ive ever seen.
It was now time to head back to the horseless buggy to come on back to our fine quant little piece of shit town. On our way back we came along this van. I was ecstatic.
Now with a new member weighing us down, Kristen force to be exact, who I think was suffering from the plague. We headed out maybe never to return again. All in all Id say you may have one this time New York City. But Ill be back!(shake fist appropriately)
Hello there. You look busy. Well since youre here let me tell you a tale of intrigue, laze, revenge, and absurdity. It all started when a good friend of mine, that goes by the colorful moniker of Eric Thomas Craven, told me about a delightful fun filled show being put on by Propagandhi in the bustling town of NYC. Oh and not just one, but two performances one day after another. I said to him, Well my lord Eric, this could be quiet the good time!
So days go and pass. The time of merriment closes in. He still had not purchased the tickets. Well after a few more days the second show had been sold out. But the first was still hot for the trot. So he fandangled his computation device and voil the tickets were purchased and we were on our way. I do believe now is a good time to mention that a female party had been added to our adventure. One spry young lass by the name Amanda Blaine.
We had a most uneventful journey listening to what would be awaiting us later that night and arriving at the miss Kristin Forces Brooklyn apartment at around 1:30 in the PM. Now for those unaware of the troubles and tribulations surrounding the elusive public bathroom situation. It is near impossible to, oh how do I put it, ah yes pop a squat in this fare city. Unless you have a catheter bag with accessories or the bladder control of a camel you are bound to run into trouble at some point. Well we had neither and the mounting need of relieving facilities were becoming apparent. So Amanda found the courage to brave into a building and urinate inside the entrance to some unfortunate blokes apartment building. My friend Eric has the courage of many lions as he easily sprayed his foul liquid onto an unwitting sidewalk in the presence of a fine Arabic gentleman. Making him step over his stream of defiance in order to continue on his path. Well I, having the inability for the most part to pee pee in public arenas, was forced to come up with a masterful plan to rid my lower body of the uncomfortable pressure that was slowly increasing. Ruffling through the refuse in my back seat I come upon a nicely sized cup and decide it is as good a place as any to relieve myself of this burden. And as I, with just my cup of shame positioned myself in that of a jockey ridding a mighty steed in my drivers seat, proceeded to wee into this cup as a deliciously beautiful woman walked by.
After eating a super satisfying and delicious paper thin peanut butter sandwich.
We got lost. Yet we found where all the toxicity in Brooklyn drains too and got yelled at for looking like we were going to piss in it, or commit suicide. We realized our blunder and then ventured into the great city of Manhattan to get some fine delicious coffee at Fika. Then we ventured on over to the Apple store where we perused the selection and Eric decided to clog their toilet with his mighty bowels. Well we are all hungry and go on a lengthy search for a fine yet cheap eatery. Down a dimly lit, damp, and crooked alley we find a nice asian establishment. They had the BEST generic Chinese food Ive ever had and my first taste of sushi. Which wasnt too bad, I think I just like cooked food. Then it was off to our predetermined destination of Propagandhi at the Highline Ballroom. Outside we were treated like royalty and escorted right to the front of the line. If you saw most of these people you would think your headed to a gutter punk show in the basement of a blokes townhouse. So many Oi! Patches and crimson ghosts. But upon entrance youd think it was a fraternity disco. And Im not giving you the run around here, two disco balls! And each jock had 3 popped collars. Until they retired there wears to reveal mustard and sweat stained wife beaters. The unbelievable part you might not be aware of is that they all knew every word to the songs off of this bands newest release. Singing along like they were lifting many weights getting ready for the big game. And not concerned nor caring at all the overall message behind any of the songs they had to pay to hear live. Now I am very appreciative of Propagandhi and recognize the message they convey. Yet I choose to eat things of the meat persuasion. But I digress, the show was excellent. Then it was off and back to Brooklyn to bed down in what seemed like an un-welcomed house. Where I managed to PASS OUT with incredible speed.
As day broke I was struck with a mighty hunger that I knew only a 5 star restaurant could fend off. Lucky for me that I knew of a McDonalds two blocks away. So with my just downloaded new Smodcast I trudged out. And this was a Friday, so at such an early hour it is necessary to move ones vehicle so that the fine sanitation crew can clean up these fair streets. After about 10 minutes to move my car around the corner I embark on foot. Sitting and enjoying some good Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier dialog and a fat bacon egg and cheese with coffee the size of your head, I feel content. After about 20 minutes I head out to move my car back to its previous, now legal, position. In my head can be heard Man this is fucking great! I cant wait to live here. I just might wake up early on purpose to do this. But my hopes were quickly dashed when I see this on my car.
Accompanying it was a 45 dollar fine. A fine, in that which if I were 6 minutes sooner would not have gotten. Fuck you New York City. Or rather fuck you Brooklyn and your modest idea of sanitation. I could walk 300 hundred feet from where I stood and gotten cancer from the dust spewed up from trucks on the same city streets. God damn it. At least I had about 25 minutes of boring life humor still in this Smodcast. After listening to it and finishing my coffee I lumbered back up to our abode and waited for my party to awake. After some quick and whispered words me and Eric joined each other in the smallest bathroom I have ever been privy to, to keep each other company.
Letting this small part of NYCs seedy nightlife out of my body we left to see the sights as they say. We headed to a favorite spot of ours known as St. Marks Place. Great pizza, and great atmosphere. On the way we found a Salvation Army and just had to see what wears we could find in this hole in the wall. And I did! This little beauty for only one American dollar!
We then got to St. Marks and perused some fine zaa and then went down to Kims Place so I could see the new layout. On our way there we ran into Search and Destroy. A punk thrift store. This small asian woman working was very enamored by my jacket and was asking me all about it. When a song came on that I wondered if was new. She didnt even know who it was. So I decided to stop talking to her. But I did find these nifty little buggers that they dont sell in my neck of the woods anymore because of people who text message.
So we made it down to Kims and what would ya know? It was less then adequate. No where NEAR the selection they once had, and neither the vibe. Well now I needed a pick me up so we headed back to Trash and Vaudeville. Another punk/under appreciated clothing store conveniently across of Search And Destroy. On our adventure back we happened upon some old world New York City hate. Nothing says fuck you and your whole family like a nicely wiped wad of feces on you car windshield.
Ahhhh, the city of dreams. Well we got to Trash And Vaudeville where after some debate I purchased this little beauty. After 4-5 years of listening and loving them I figured it was about time to buy one of there finely tailored apparel. So I picked the most generic one.
We then walked around for a good 3-4 hours and found one of the best fifty foot scrolling marquees Ive ever seen.
It was now time to head back to the horseless buggy to come on back to our fine quant little piece of shit town. On our way back we came along this van. I was ecstatic.
Now with a new member weighing us down, Kristen force to be exact, who I think was suffering from the plague. We headed out maybe never to return again. All in all Id say you may have one this time New York City. But Ill be back!(shake fist appropriately)