i'm a fucking jackass.
TIR-
(for those of you who don't know me, that stands for tess' injury report.)
while preparing new favorite salad from previous entry, i was pitting an avocado. my new ass-kicking japanese knife (aptly named in previous entry), went straight through the pit, through the back of said avocado, and into my finger. about half an inch. the blood, my friends, was aplenty. after about 10 minutes, i was able to rinse away enough blood to see subcutaneous tissue, a tendon, and my bone. fantastic.
being a spoiled only child, i called my mommy and daddy. i asked them to come get my dog, i had to go to the emergency room. super parents told me to wait and arrived in west view from penn hills in 12 minutes. that is record time. (that declaration comes from someone who herself has mastered the trip to 19 minutes.)
mom insists on going to allegheny general, having spent a career working for THE BEST doctors in pittsburgh, i trust her opinion. allegheny general is in the northside and the mecca of drug addicts and firearm wounds. so waiting room is a real joy.
4 hours later, after having a resident fuck up, i mean, stitch up, my hand, we discover that i can't lift the finger. that's because the tendon has been cut. so the best hand doctor in the city is called in (mom made a phone call to dr mccafferty, an old boss and a wonderful plastic surgeon. he called a comrade, dr kaois, a.k.a. the best hand man in the city.) he comes in, takes out the stitches, ties my tendon together. i'll say that again, for effect. he tied my tendon together. how dope is that???? stitched me up proper and sent me on my merry way, complete with a tetanus shot, just in case.
thank god i was dosed up on poppy tea or this would have been a very painful and stomach turning experience.
fucking sharp ass knife. fucking crappy ass avocado pit. fucking clumsy ass me.
-me
TIR-
(for those of you who don't know me, that stands for tess' injury report.)
while preparing new favorite salad from previous entry, i was pitting an avocado. my new ass-kicking japanese knife (aptly named in previous entry), went straight through the pit, through the back of said avocado, and into my finger. about half an inch. the blood, my friends, was aplenty. after about 10 minutes, i was able to rinse away enough blood to see subcutaneous tissue, a tendon, and my bone. fantastic.
being a spoiled only child, i called my mommy and daddy. i asked them to come get my dog, i had to go to the emergency room. super parents told me to wait and arrived in west view from penn hills in 12 minutes. that is record time. (that declaration comes from someone who herself has mastered the trip to 19 minutes.)
mom insists on going to allegheny general, having spent a career working for THE BEST doctors in pittsburgh, i trust her opinion. allegheny general is in the northside and the mecca of drug addicts and firearm wounds. so waiting room is a real joy.
4 hours later, after having a resident fuck up, i mean, stitch up, my hand, we discover that i can't lift the finger. that's because the tendon has been cut. so the best hand doctor in the city is called in (mom made a phone call to dr mccafferty, an old boss and a wonderful plastic surgeon. he called a comrade, dr kaois, a.k.a. the best hand man in the city.) he comes in, takes out the stitches, ties my tendon together. i'll say that again, for effect. he tied my tendon together. how dope is that???? stitched me up proper and sent me on my merry way, complete with a tetanus shot, just in case.
thank god i was dosed up on poppy tea or this would have been a very painful and stomach turning experience.
fucking sharp ass knife. fucking crappy ass avocado pit. fucking clumsy ass me.
-me
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
,....and you need to be carefull over there, if you didnt have all the surgeon hookups, we would be callin you stubby.
Check out my tee in my journal pics!