Tuesday Nov 03, 2009

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alright so things have finally started to improve.

my pain is still intense, but we have some decent bud and that has helped tremendously!

I went and saw the surgeon the other day and he said that he thinks i sprained the ligament and that i may have

a small hernia. yup im 23 not 60.

but he said for me to take it easy...
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brightredscream:
Feel better ♥

Wednesday Oct 28, 2009

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I have some sort of flu that has been making me super sick,

My stress level has been through the roof lately as I find it harder and harder to make ends meet.

Katy came over the other night and i really need to just vomit my heart because its not worth having around

anymore.

I told her how I felt and i thought that...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
bob:
Thank you SO much for your comment on Machete and I's multi Hot Mess. It really means a lot! smile
jezel:
I'm sorry to hear all this man. Like Vuelve said, you really need to cut off ALL communication for a while. That's the only way to do it. It sucks for a while, but then it's over much quicker. She obviously doesn't deserve you anyway if you love her so much and she doesn't love you back.

Good luck smile

Monday Oct 26, 2009

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So something big is coming.
I feel like im just waiting for the other shoe to drop

I'm unsure if its good or bad. I can just sense change coming, and something big.

Yet at the same time I always have apprehension about winter and how my body will react to the cold harsh winter.

I go in to see the surgeon on friday, so...
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lovechristina:
I always feel that way about winter as well. I keep getting nose bleeds and I think it's a bad omen but maybe I'm just crazy. Or maybe it's just the dry weather whatever
beautifak:
The great thing is that something is coming. Is boring when nothing happens and the things are the same.

Sunday Oct 18, 2009

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So my x is driving me up a wall and really breaking my heart

She started dating a junky over my birthday and broke up with him friday night.

apparently he got violent with her.

which now means I have to hurt him.

ugh. the whole situation, life makes me sick lately.

why can't I break ties!

why does every 5 or 6 days some...
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diessel:
shocked
agy:
Hope everything turns ok. :S

PS Happy Belated Birthday!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)







smile

Wednesday Oct 14, 2009

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So my birthday was fuckin rough.

I'm glad its over and that I can move past it.

The whole day I was on the verge of tears.

But a week later I'm doing better?

The cold bites harsh on my exposed skin

Its bitter from months of being caged in the north.

The worst part is that I know its only the start of winter....
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shanti:
i will share some of my life stories with you... i have been there... i took in my ex's dog, all his furniture our tables, records and ended up footing close to 5000 i didnt have, so i pulled it from a credit card, i never came close to paying it back and kept digging myself into debt... he took what he wanted and moved away... i was left with a debt terrible credit and a bunch of boxes of worthless shit and furniture... i finally got rid of all his stuff, the 900$ bedframe we shared together i gave to a friend, and its funny how a piece of materiel can effect your heart, mind, spirit... i feel so much better, i am so close to getting out of debt five years later... just one more year and ill be back to where i started. good credit and no debt. he's with some lady and has a baby, something i could never give him, i have learnt to let it go. you are sadly only responsible for your own actions and behavior. everything is a lesson, learn from it... maybe she will come around maybe she wont but it wont matter to you no more. look after yourself cause you owe urself happiness. xoxo

Wednesday Oct 07, 2009

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Last year I awoke in her arms

This year I awake, half stoned as the telephone rings.

Its a well wisher, calling to congratulate another year down.

A year ago today was full.

Today empty and alone i lay in my bed with music on to cover my tears

and pills meant to help cage a beast that doesn't want to let me near 24....
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
erinrob:
this is really well written
riese:
Wow, you really mean business! Its a great blog but very sad.... hope your ok!

Saturday Oct 03, 2009

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So I have The dopest dope.

tongue

No jokin this stuff is amazing.

Work has also picked up, which has been rad.
I love working hard, it feels amazing.

Its pretty safe to say that life's been rad.

The lady situation is non existent and the lack of human contact has been brutal, but other then that life has been good.

I went and had lunch...
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nukeboxhero:
Way to keep your chin up man, times are rough these days for all of us, I'm glad you are being one that looks on the upside. My lady luck is shit lately too... harsh, but it is what it is... or isn't. Anyway man, happy early birthday, I hope you have a great one!

Cheers,
Jason

Thursday Sep 24, 2009

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Alright

I'm feeling weak lately.

I really miss my x.

I keep feeling that I made a mistake.

really I think its much more of the security that I miss.

To be totally honest sex is also a big factor

But mostly its the companionship.

the whole situation is only made worse by the face that it seems I can't get a date to save...
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silvercharmer:
You need to be secure in yourself, by yourself, before you go trying to start another relationship. It'll make for a happier and much healthier partnership later.

Sunday Sep 20, 2009

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Hello world

I hope all has been well for you.

Now that the introduction is done i had better show the waver..

I'm going to delve into my feelings now so this is your chance to leave while you still can.

ok fair warning right?

So I finally feel like I'm standing on my own two feet. I still teeter a bit but definently on...
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Thursday Aug 13, 2009

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I need some love.

I don't mean sex, while it would be nice wink so if there are any takers, but that's not exactly what I'm talking

about.

A few days ago I sat and thought that maybe I don't accept love the way everyone else does.

With my family love always had a catch. Love was always conditional and more often then not it was...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
mercie:
ps - your two tone glasses are pretty rad.
zepp:
i'm on lyrica. it helps but does shit for flare ups
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