yeahexactly

I have some sort of flu that has been making me super sick,

My stress level has been through the roof lately as I find it harder and harder to make ends meet.

Katy came over the other night and i really need to just vomit my heart because its not worth having around

anymore.

I told her how I felt and i thought that her coming over meant that she had some interest in me too.

I guess i thought that telling her everything i felt would move her heart and bring her back to me.

I was wrong.

I'm drowning in depression and I don't think there's a way out this time.

My pain has reached new levels physically and emotionally, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I told her that she completed me, and that when she left she took a part of me.

that everyday when we were together i wanted to fall deeper in love with her and now i feel that im just

waiting to die.

I explained how much i miss her and how i'm haunted by the memories of us.

I told her how much i loved her and how much i missed her and cried my eyes out for hours.

but i guess loving someone doesnt make them love you.

:/

I just can't seem to get over her.

and i guess i hoped she still had some feelings for me.

i feel so stupid.

her newest bf was a jackass and she said he hated me bc of how good i was to her.

and that i was better to her then anyone else has ever been.

but that doesnt make her love me


the other day he e-mailed me and said they were trying to get back togther and for me to stay away from her and then proceeded to talk shit.

i lost my temper and called her.

and then put my hand through a door 3 or 4 times.

she chewed him out and blocked his number and she stayed the night at my place

and i told her she had my heart, but she doesnt want me.

I don't know how to get over her.

i told her she was the greatest love of my life.

and now i don't know where to go.

its been 5 months since we broke up.

when is this supposed to stop?

nothing feels right anymore