yarzonum

in recovery mode now. much stronger. skin graft is looking really good and healthy. donor site is looking decent. shoulder is stiff, though. i hope it's "normal" in two weeks--that's when i start working again.

man, it's been a strange couple months.
the first two months were pretty boring, but that's cos i was on pain killers and sleepy all the time. watching t.v. started reading comics again. sandman. really good. and it sparked something in me.
other than the odd scribble in my little notebook, i'd totally neglected the visual artist in me for the last decade or so, which is a shame because i have somewhat of a knack for it. since i was a kid, people said i'd be an artist. after a while, though, i felt like i had no choice in the matter, and so i switched direction to becoming a physician. doesn't make much sense--maybe it was a strong suggestion by my parents or the need for me to do something prestigious and useful.
the whole time i studied and did well at science stuff, though, i made art--music mostly.
it occurred to me that i'm a creator. some people are good at fixing stuff, others at managing and communicating with people. some investigate. others destroy. and i create--it's the single biggest drive in my life and i've pushed it back for the past decade.
and i keep hearing it from people: well, you'll probably be poor, but at least you'll be happy doing what you love to do.
but say i go this route--what then? i have no formal education. no credibility. just raw talent. is that enough? do i have any right? who will i disappoint? does it matter?
if i decide to abandon the science/medicine path, were all those years wasted?
it's all a bit silly, i know.
but i need to get my life going. i need to start living up to my potential. i need to be excited and passionate about what i do.

ray.