So, as I sit here in hotel room at 2am with nothing to do I find myself reflecting on myself, the world, and life in general. Perhaps, though, I'm getting ahead of myself and should tell you what lead up to this late night of reflectiveness.
Some times in life you get the pleasure of meeting someone who instantly lights up your life just by them being around or near you. The first, obviously, was my wife who I have had the greatest pleasure of being with for two decades now but this blog, or this story rather, is not about her. I'm sure there have been others but a few months ago at work another such soul happened to stumble across me and my little slice of the universe. Her name is Bri. From the moment I saw her I was slightly infatuated with her as her style and demeanor intrigued me exponentially. Also I found her almost irresistible attractive. (Of course I can resist because my wife is my one and only) But as to not come of as the creeper or even overbearing, I kept my distance and just admired her from a far.
Finally after a few weeks, possibly a month, I found my "in". She was chatting with one of my few coworkers I consider a friend, right by where I happened to be working so I sauntered over and joined the conversation. (Hoping this doesn't sound as bad as I think but I just needed to meet this person.) We had an instant connection and started chatting every chance we got. I do believe we first bonded over our complete love of Kombucha! I even had to introduce her to my wife who the two of them hit it off immediately and now the three of us are the best of friends! The amount of things my wife and her have in common is actually quite scary at times but maybe this was also why I was drawn to her immediately.
Fast forward a few months to the beginning of December when her boyfriend asked her to move in with her. She was very hesitant at first and kept asking him "Are you sure?" She finally accepted and I was extremely happy for her because I truly believe everyone needs the kind of love and support my wife and I have for each other. So she told her roommate she was moving out packed all her stuff and was ready to make the move.
Three days before she was supposed to move in he changed his mind and decided she was no longer welcome to move in. She already had given notice in her current place so couldn't move back there, making her essentially homeless. This was two days after Christmas mind you. I immediately told her she was welcome to move in with me even though I had only known her a few months, after getting my wife's permission of course. She was absolutely floored and taken back by my offer and couldn't believe I would be willing to do that but as I said earlier sometimes you meet those people who just instantly bring joy to your life. Now, she ended up not taking my offer and moving in with family instead, which was probably best, but still all she had was a couch to sleep on still making her essentially homeless.
This whole scenario left a bitter taste in her mouth so she decided to move back to Oregon where she had previously lived. Got her transfer approved at work and became making plans to move back to Oregon. Being the fact that its January and the roads are covered in snow and ice with occasional closures altogether the drive in a word, terrified her. So what did I do for my new found friend? I immediately told her I would drop everything and make the drive with her, even though it meant I had to call in sick to work to do it. She couldn't at all believe I would do this but when I love someone, and I do in my own special way, I will do literally anything to help them out. Just the way I was raised. So, we made the final plans, planned the trip and set out on the 14 hour drive to her new home. Initially we were going to do it in one go but after an exhausting day of driving we stopped, got a hotel room, (I called in sick to work) and we crashed for the night. Which leads me back again to me, sitting in a hotel room, now close to three in the morning (because I work nights and am always up this hour) doing some reflection.
Firstly, since its fresh in my mind after having written the above story, how can someone be so mean and callous as to make a person homeless, in winter, just after Christmas? I will never to the day I die understand people like that and honestly I am not sure I want to.
The older I get in life the more I realize how important it is to have connections with people in your life, particularly from your past. I used to have a bad habit of drifting away from friends and losing touch with them all. Now I find myself close to 40 and realize how desperately I need a group of loving supportive people in my life. I have my lovely wife of course but there are times when its just not enough. I now regret losing touch with all those wonderful people I have known in my life and it saddens me. I used to think I didn't need friends to be happy, just my wife, but I now realize how truly wrong I was. Is it to late to mend the broken relationships from two decades ago? Perhaps. Currently all my closest friends live in other states whom I only get to see a handful of times a year. They are truly my friends but the distance makes it difficult at times and they all have families and lives of their own. Maybe this is why I latched on to Bri as fiercely as I did, but now she is also moving to another state which saddens me greatly though its best for her and I support her decision 100%. Maybe I am just not intended to have more than one fabulous relationship in my life. My wife and I are truly best friends as well as lovers.
So as I bring this rather lengthy blog to an end if anyone actually made it yhis far I'll tell you this. Cherish your friends and the times you have together. As you grow older and life happens you never know where you will end up or what will happen but True Friends will always be there no matter the time, no matter the distance, and no matter what you may be going through. I need more True Friends in my life and its still not to late so if you want or need a funny, generous, loving soul in your life I welcome any and all similar souls. I'm not perfect, I have my faults but Im always there if you need a copilot in life, or for a 14 hour drive across country.
Much Love
Yaoth aka Douglas
Thank you for reading and I'll leave you with a selfie I took on the road somewhere in Oregon and a song that is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year that speaks to me more now then when I first heard it 20 years ago. As I am no longer smart enough or capable of embedding a YouTube video in my blog from my phone I'll just post the link.
