xzombiex

as christmas approaches things get harder as the days go by, those of you who know me will know that last christmas day Alice had a miscarriage, it totaly broke my heart and was the hardest things i have ever had to go through
this christmas day we are going to drive to the yorkshire moors and release a balloon in memory of our loss, we should have a little child to look after right now but we dont, i cant believe what a fucking cruel hand we were dealt last year, it all started at about half past 10 in the evening of christmas day, thats when our world came crashing down around us.


i'm sorry for those of you on here who dont like reading this but i had to put it in writing I dont talk about what happened to anyone really, i guess i bottle it up inside me, its not that i have forgotten or dont think about it at all cos believe me i think of our loss on a daily basis. we bought a cuddly toy as a kind of memorial, it sits in our lounge, i often look at it and think of the baby, we believed it was a girl and named her Alex Rai.

anyway this is too upsetting for me to carry on so i will go

rest in peace Alex Rai