xxxdjinn

man have i been thrown a hectic shedule or what ?????

okay time to update .

first band stuff . we are still recording and soon to finish guitar tracks this week . which is cool because i record bass tracks next . except i am a recent bass player and our producer is a veteran player which means he will be extra critical of me ....... also we are playing at the coliseum in fort wayne which is the biggest venue in the area except indy . we are playing oct 11th at corpseacopia which is a metalfest of local bands put on by shauna lead singer/ bassist for spiritual dacay . so thats a bit stressing and exciting all at once . then we have a gig every saturday after that for a month straight up until NOV 15 .
our drummer got married this past saturday and had a cool reception at which i ate moldy bread and hit on the 40 something bartender ( and successfully got her address and number by the way , purely business reasons though ) got too drunk and forgot where i was on the way home when we stopped at 7-11 . jeff our lead singer and sarah my co worker have a 2 month old who is BIG , i call him big delicious .

work

my job at the big and tall sux . i am waiting for an interview at this paper place i applied at .
AND i got a job as a writer for a local magazine as the ettiquette writer , of course my first article was on third shift dining ettiquette for slackers ie me . i also possibly got another band to be on our label .

pets

mienke had his ballz clipped yesterday . he is very sore today it makes me feel bad partially because i am a guy and partially because i am his daddy . but he should be back to his whole running and biting routine soon .

rage

my ex friend who slept with my ex girlfriend when we were still together came clean about it after about 5 months . i was trying so hard to hold my rage in i started shakin violently . which now makes three GFs in 6 months that cheated on me . yay self esteem lowering and trust dwindling . which is why i am only casually dating at the moment .

casual dating

i am dating my ex fiance currently and she is dating the guy she left me for (and they are still sexually active while we are not ) . she has gotten mad at me for telling her that i liked a girl we were sitting by at the coffee house the other day and also because i was looking at girls at the mall ( two seperate occasions ) i told her i thought it was funny that she was upset about that when i hadnt gotten upset about her and this other guy being exclusive in the bed room . and i said that if we were in a no ties casual dating thing what did it matter . which yes i know that looking at other women when in the company of a woman is rude but we used to look at girls together all the time ( hint : shes bi ) . i told her that of all the people i have looked at in 25 years i have only been with about 8 of them and she mattered to me more because she actually had a mind and personality which a passing persons body does not have . then she called me today and we had a brief disscussion of what we were to do . i told her i wanted no ties casual dating because i am not emotionally ready to be a healthy trusting partner . also right now it is not my first priority to be tied to someone elses goals and stuff , i mean i am all about support but not on that particular level . soooooooo, we are still no ties but i doubt thats the end of the discussion .

am i wrong to want to date multiple people ?? i am not talking fuck buddies necessarily but just coffee , bar , etc . it is just the simple matter of knowing what i am ready for ......i just want to focus on accomplishing some things in my life before i turn 26 that will better me as a man and do away with the boy .
i want to kiss someone and accept it as a moment .
i want to be worthy of respect as a partner not a codependent child . i am trying to lose weight , get a better job , get a house , go to college , and be in a successful band , and have baggage that is only a carry on size not baggage check humongous size .

family

my uncle has to get some sort of surgery for eye cancer and my mom has been extremely upset and is trying to get down to florida to see him . crying crying all the time . i hate it because for all the comfort shes given me i dont know how to comfort her because in my head she IS the strong one . shes 65 and she only has two brothers left .dunno?
my dad.............dont know we dont talk much
my cousin is out of work because he has back problems . he lives with me and my mom . ( yes i know , i still live with mommy ) he went on vacation even though he had finally landed a job which makes no sense at all to me but that to eludes me .

if i had an opportunity i would take a break from it all but where would i go ? what would i do ?

bombshell B got new strings ( my bass ) yup new flat wounds they are delicious .

i spilled two 2 gallons of detergent in my trunk (new car ) because they fell and broke open .

my new goal is to learn to dance thanx to bombshell betty hopefully we can dance together one day

Missfytte sent my an outstnding love letter

tess is awesome and told me her name and she has yummy pics of herself

nihmly inspired me to make my posters sooner because she has awesome pics



i guess that was an update huh ? if you wanna write novels back feel free i love reading em .


oh yeah PIZZLE !!!!!