xxxdjinn

didn't anyone ever tell you it is rude to stare ?

yeah they told me that too!!!!

i talked to my friend today about digging his ex girlie and he was all cool about it . eventhough i have no clue as to whether she is even remotely attracted to me . we have hung out almost every night this past week but i hang out every day so its hard to say . i am keeping my fingers crossed but only partially because i am still up in the air about my other priorities . like registering for classes and getting a better fucking job and trying to finish two seperate CDs . dont get me wrong i can do all of those and have time for a woman .
But my other friend is pissed because he liked this girl too but he waits for-freakin-ever to make any sort of move . nothing i can do about that so i guess that sums that up .
next issue
(this is going to sound so contadictory to what i just wrote but ah well such is life )

i am in love with my godson's mother , whom i dated when i was 17 , but she is married . to confuse the issue more , she is leaving him for cheating on her while she was pregnant with my yet to be born god child . she was my first love so it isnt one of those things that fades easily . considering she told me she loved me too and wishes i was both of her kids father , and she wants them to be like me . *knife digging into heart *
so even though shes leaving him she is still in memphis , which is a world away from me and indiana . did i mention i am naming her unborn newborn ..... the whole name is MY choice . chaos supreme .
* next issue *

i need a better job , though i have decided that i must find a job with gay men because after 3 years working with a predominately gay staff i could be bored out of my mind with just breeders . i was surprised by that , being straight , because i never realized what other people miss out on by being homophobic . the guys i work with are awesome and funny . i have become a bit flambouyant and queenie after 3 years but hey a flaming hetero is a label i have learned to love .
< side note >
mike from work said the funniest word in life for ass ....man-pussy . use it as often as possible its great . oh and the word for " getting laid " is " getting TRADE " , so clever and fun . i will miss it .
<back track >>
in a way it is fun to be convinced i am some how gay because i shape my eyebrows and shave
because deep down i realize that i can do that and still be a complete pig . lets me know my energy is balanced . either that or i am easily amused .

i am so tired of seeing the same customers bitch and moan every day . i am tired of being forced to harrass customers with impulse items and mailing lists and catalogs and email coupons . i just want to be pleasent and assist shopping , you know my job .

so i go to put out apps monday . hopefully tuesday i have a job .

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my kat meinke got his very first shots and he is doing great , or he will be until next week when his balls get shanked . i feel for him us guys with black balls gotta stick together . . hopefully though he will stop spraying like its going out of style .

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i had a panic attack and thought something happened to my mom but she was okay after i got home . then i thought about my dad which was odd because he is never around so i never really think about him at all . but i just instantly assumed he was dead . i still dont know because i dont know how to get in touch with my half bros and sis' . it has been about 3 days since and i am still caught between caring and not . which makes me sad . i dont like not caring but he decided how much he was in my life . i have seen him only about a total of 4 hours in 6-7 years . oh and he lives 2 blocks away from my house .

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CD update : PINION = all drum tracks done , 3 guitar tracks done . recording again next tuesday .

CD update : XXX NEMESYS = reworking lyrics , drum tracks done , basslines done . basslines i have heard : 0 , drum tracks i have heard : 0 lyrics i have written : 11

dont worry i am working on it .

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i have a meeting next week for this local magazine . i am hoping to be a new staff writer . releasing my madness to the world at large .

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we have two shows one is at the fort wayne war memorial coliseum ( fort wayne indiana ) for a death metal fest (local) called corpsecopia . even though we dont do death metal we got invited hows that for street cred . its $10 on Oct 11th .

second show , legends sports bar ( fort wayne ) our regular stomping gronds for shows . on nov. 1st $3 cover .

too bad most of you are so far away or else it could be an impromptu SG gathering .

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i miss hearing from everyone and i apologize for not beig as responsive as i want to be .

PS i was given an 8.5 on a scale of 1-10 the other day it surprised me . things change i guessed 5.5-6.5

Pizzle