xxtinkerbellxx

I've been trying to define certain things in my life. One of the things I've had the most trouble with is 'reckless abandon' and 'spontaneous glee.' I find I'm too self-conscious to fully let go and let my glee wash over me. In fact, I'm not too sure what 'reckless abandon' and 'spontaneous glee' looks like until I found this super cute video:

[VIDEO][/VIDEO]

Seizure is one of my favorite SGs- she is drop dead gorgeous with a slamming body. Her little video made me understand what 'spontaneous glee' looks like because she is silly without the shackles of an audience, mental or otherwise. How does one go about attaining this? I've tried just jumping in and doing silly things in public but I find I'm just too much of a ham- I start showing off. In short, I'm just too aware of people's eyes on me. This may have to do with my past as a stripper...

I'm not ashamed of what I was but I am upset that I'm struggling with being genuine and shaking myself free of my mental audiences...