New day.
Different feelings.
Sort of.
I keep running into Buddy (mutal friend of Nate's whose house I used to hang out at when Nate and I were going out). I went to Wal-mart after work to buy bactine, and saw him there. I tried looking straight ahead, I tried pretending I couldn't see him.
But he saw me.
So I turned my head.
And he smiled.
So I did too.
And he asked how I was doing.
I said fine. I'm sorry I haven't been around in a long time.
He said stop by.
I said I will.
Hopefully I'll catch he and his wife at a time when Nathan ISN'T there - like he always God damned is.
Then, that same day at work, we hire some new guy to do dishes in the back. Guess who he looks almost exactly like? That's right, Nathan.
And then, today, I'm driving home from the hospital (got a blood test) and I drive past Car Time Audio. There in the parking lot sits Nate's flat-black beat up truck. I could see the door handle, and where he has his name done in tape above it. I remember when he put my name on the passenger side door. Sometimes I wonder if it's still there, or if he scraped it off. I couldn't see from the street.
And I guess it really doesn't matter anyway.
All this isn't why I was upset last night. I suppose it doesn't help, but it was/is not my main concern.
It's so twisted and personal I don't even want to write it down. Maybe someone could wriggle it out of my if they really tried, I don't know.
Later.
Different feelings.
Sort of.
I keep running into Buddy (mutal friend of Nate's whose house I used to hang out at when Nate and I were going out). I went to Wal-mart after work to buy bactine, and saw him there. I tried looking straight ahead, I tried pretending I couldn't see him.
But he saw me.
So I turned my head.
And he smiled.
So I did too.
And he asked how I was doing.
I said fine. I'm sorry I haven't been around in a long time.
He said stop by.
I said I will.
Hopefully I'll catch he and his wife at a time when Nathan ISN'T there - like he always God damned is.
Then, that same day at work, we hire some new guy to do dishes in the back. Guess who he looks almost exactly like? That's right, Nathan.
And then, today, I'm driving home from the hospital (got a blood test) and I drive past Car Time Audio. There in the parking lot sits Nate's flat-black beat up truck. I could see the door handle, and where he has his name done in tape above it. I remember when he put my name on the passenger side door. Sometimes I wonder if it's still there, or if he scraped it off. I couldn't see from the street.
And I guess it really doesn't matter anyway.
All this isn't why I was upset last night. I suppose it doesn't help, but it was/is not my main concern.
It's so twisted and personal I don't even want to write it down. Maybe someone could wriggle it out of my if they really tried, I don't know.
Later.
So did I wriggle it out of you yet no well let me try again?
Wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle
Ok all joking aside I would like to know, it would make it simpler for me to understand what you are going throw. I dont know if you are like me when I say that it is not as tuff to put it on sg as it is to tell some one face to face, that is why until I got feed up with some one telling me to get over it I would put up all my problems and feelings. So if you would like to tell me im a good listener And I would be glad to talk about what is going on with you, you can email it to me if you want.
Any way it seems like you are in better spirits today that t is very good I was getting warred about you.
You probable dont wont to hear this but I thank you would be better off if you went some where else and lived for a while I know that when I left my home town it was very hard at first but I fond life more pleasant when I did, at lest if you did you wouldn't have to see the x if you didnt wont to.
I was a bit worried when you didn't post and we didn't hear from you! Don't be doin that again young lady or I'll have to punish you...
mmmm punishment...