I have a virus. Meh.
Valentines Day was pretty damn good. I picked up Athena (her bf broke up with her that same day, that fucking bastard), Raven, Ashley, and Kaylyn, four of my very close friends. We had orginally planned on going out to eat together, but that somehow got completely blown out of the water, so we went down the the grocery store and made our own dinner at my house. We make some pretty fuckin' good Tortilini if I don't mind saying so. After goofin' off in my house for hours, and getting sick from too much pasta, we went to the movies and saw "Boogeyman" That was, how should I put this.... crap. Terrible movie. It had some good cinematography, but that's it. I told Athena as we were leaving, "The coolest part of that entire movie was when he put the key in the door." (I suppose you'd get that if you've seen it)
After dropping Athena off, I drove around by myself, past Nate's. He was home by himself, but since it was midnight and I had a bad feeling, I didn't stop.
Which was probably a good idea since I talked to him on the phone when I got home and he was a pure asshole.
So now I'm thinking it's all officially ruined. That whole Nathan thing. Whatever you want to call it. And now I'm thinking that he's a fucking loser. And that he's not worth my time of day. I feel stupid for even getting involved. In a way, at least.
I ended up crying at the end of the day - sure - but I still had fun with my friends, whom I love more than anything in the world. No guy can ever replace them. Ever. It was one in the morning and I was drying my face and laying in my bed on the phone with Kay. She listened to me. She made me feel better. I fell asleep with a horrible sore throat and a massive headache.
Needless to say, I didn't go anywhere today. Well, at least not anywhere I should have gone.
I went to the doctor, they told me to drink liquids and blah blah blah... all that usual crap you hear. We also had a discussion about my stress level, and my doctor thinks it's a good idea that I quit my job, or at least cut back and only work a few days a week. I've opted to the few days idea. I don't want to quit and be a broke ass again. She also put my back on Topomax, which I had been taking this previous year for my bi-polar disorder.
Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't just be born normal.
Then I remember that I hate normalcy. And no one is normal, anyway.
After my lovely doctor visit, I hit Wal-mart to get my prescription filled, and bought "Saw", which came out today. (Woot!) I played some 90s Trivial Pursuit with Kay, and then watched the movie with her.
Now here I am.
My throat is closed up. Eck. I have a strange, uneasy feeling. I feel crushed. Like everything is all tangled up in my life.
First thing's first. Start back on that stupid medication. Then there's the job issue. Then maybe I can pick myself back up in school once work isn't overpowering me.
As for my relationships, Nathan-wise... best thing I suppose is to cut him out. Or, cut me out rather. Just forget. Or at least try to. This isn't worth my time, is it?
________________________________________________
Whenever I want to smile, even just a little bit, I always look at this picture of me and my bud Tom.
I look so fuckin' happy.
Mm. I'm off to do... something.
Later.
Valentines Day was pretty damn good. I picked up Athena (her bf broke up with her that same day, that fucking bastard), Raven, Ashley, and Kaylyn, four of my very close friends. We had orginally planned on going out to eat together, but that somehow got completely blown out of the water, so we went down the the grocery store and made our own dinner at my house. We make some pretty fuckin' good Tortilini if I don't mind saying so. After goofin' off in my house for hours, and getting sick from too much pasta, we went to the movies and saw "Boogeyman" That was, how should I put this.... crap. Terrible movie. It had some good cinematography, but that's it. I told Athena as we were leaving, "The coolest part of that entire movie was when he put the key in the door." (I suppose you'd get that if you've seen it)
After dropping Athena off, I drove around by myself, past Nate's. He was home by himself, but since it was midnight and I had a bad feeling, I didn't stop.
Which was probably a good idea since I talked to him on the phone when I got home and he was a pure asshole.
So now I'm thinking it's all officially ruined. That whole Nathan thing. Whatever you want to call it. And now I'm thinking that he's a fucking loser. And that he's not worth my time of day. I feel stupid for even getting involved. In a way, at least.
I ended up crying at the end of the day - sure - but I still had fun with my friends, whom I love more than anything in the world. No guy can ever replace them. Ever. It was one in the morning and I was drying my face and laying in my bed on the phone with Kay. She listened to me. She made me feel better. I fell asleep with a horrible sore throat and a massive headache.
Needless to say, I didn't go anywhere today. Well, at least not anywhere I should have gone.
I went to the doctor, they told me to drink liquids and blah blah blah... all that usual crap you hear. We also had a discussion about my stress level, and my doctor thinks it's a good idea that I quit my job, or at least cut back and only work a few days a week. I've opted to the few days idea. I don't want to quit and be a broke ass again. She also put my back on Topomax, which I had been taking this previous year for my bi-polar disorder.
Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't just be born normal.
Then I remember that I hate normalcy. And no one is normal, anyway.
After my lovely doctor visit, I hit Wal-mart to get my prescription filled, and bought "Saw", which came out today. (Woot!) I played some 90s Trivial Pursuit with Kay, and then watched the movie with her.
Now here I am.
My throat is closed up. Eck. I have a strange, uneasy feeling. I feel crushed. Like everything is all tangled up in my life.
First thing's first. Start back on that stupid medication. Then there's the job issue. Then maybe I can pick myself back up in school once work isn't overpowering me.
As for my relationships, Nathan-wise... best thing I suppose is to cut him out. Or, cut me out rather. Just forget. Or at least try to. This isn't worth my time, is it?
________________________________________________
Whenever I want to smile, even just a little bit, I always look at this picture of me and my bud Tom.
I look so fuckin' happy.
Mm. I'm off to do... something.
Later.
nikonphoto80:
Sounds like you had a good valentines day better than mine. I agree he doesnt deserve to even see you let alone be with you. I like the photo you are so cute. Why did you go of the piles in the first place? You have the best journals ever I love reading them. Hope all is going well.