Work today.... sucked. I was supposed to be out of there at 8 but didn't get out until 9. I have a shitload of make-up work for class that I don't understand a damn bit of, and so once again I closed the book and am letting it sit there. I suppose I will get some personal help from my instructor, I have to buckle down on this, or I'm going to regret it.
My art classes are just fine though. That's pretty obvious with me, I guess. I'm trying to find a painting to reproduce for our next project we're working on. Unfortunately, it has to be by one of the 'masters', so there's a list that's limiting my choices. Eck.
I want to start being healthier as well. That's so fucking hard. Especially when poptarts and the internet, and DVD's and being lazy rock so damn hard. haha.
I pretty much need to turn around quite a few things in my life.
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I did find my purse. Oh heck yes. It was in the paint cabinet of my painting class on the very top shelf. Nothing was missing out of it at all. A sick joke. Go figure.
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Tomorrow is Valentines Day. *jumps with sarcastic joy* Eh. I'm going out with some friends. I've thought over and over again about how much I want to call Nathan, but I don't think it would do me any good. Besides, I'm so angry for him being so confusing, and just so.... fucked up, that I don't want to call. I haven't seen him since last Sunday. That didn't prove to be any good for me either, since I left crying because I just reminded myself by seeing him that we weren't what we were before. It's hard not to drive past his house, and it's hard not to stop by when the opportunity is available. It's also hard when he says he still loves me but just needs time to sort things out in his life. When he says to never be afraid to call if I need or want anything, but never calls me.
So with the decision to not get in contact with him tomorrow, I'm still being a stupid girl and secretly thinking in the back of my head that maybe he'll contact me instead. I know the chances of that happening are about 5 percent, but I can't get the thought out of my head.
I hate love.
It's taking a bullet to your heart and never dying.
And then... if I don't call him, what if he thinks I don't care anymore? *screams* I don't know what the fuck to do.
I suppose you just let the pieces fall where they may.
I should wash come clothes, I have absolutely nothing.
Later.
My art classes are just fine though. That's pretty obvious with me, I guess. I'm trying to find a painting to reproduce for our next project we're working on. Unfortunately, it has to be by one of the 'masters', so there's a list that's limiting my choices. Eck.
I want to start being healthier as well. That's so fucking hard. Especially when poptarts and the internet, and DVD's and being lazy rock so damn hard. haha.
I pretty much need to turn around quite a few things in my life.
____________________
I did find my purse. Oh heck yes. It was in the paint cabinet of my painting class on the very top shelf. Nothing was missing out of it at all. A sick joke. Go figure.
_____________________
Tomorrow is Valentines Day. *jumps with sarcastic joy* Eh. I'm going out with some friends. I've thought over and over again about how much I want to call Nathan, but I don't think it would do me any good. Besides, I'm so angry for him being so confusing, and just so.... fucked up, that I don't want to call. I haven't seen him since last Sunday. That didn't prove to be any good for me either, since I left crying because I just reminded myself by seeing him that we weren't what we were before. It's hard not to drive past his house, and it's hard not to stop by when the opportunity is available. It's also hard when he says he still loves me but just needs time to sort things out in his life. When he says to never be afraid to call if I need or want anything, but never calls me.
So with the decision to not get in contact with him tomorrow, I'm still being a stupid girl and secretly thinking in the back of my head that maybe he'll contact me instead. I know the chances of that happening are about 5 percent, but I can't get the thought out of my head.
I hate love.
It's taking a bullet to your heart and never dying.
And then... if I don't call him, what if he thinks I don't care anymore? *screams* I don't know what the fuck to do.
I suppose you just let the pieces fall where they may.
I should wash come clothes, I have absolutely nothing.
Later.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
i will wright more later.
Now that IV said that I would like to say if he doesnt wont to be with you than he isnt worth your love. Isnt it better to find out now than 10 years down the road? At least now you have a chance to find happy ness college is the best place to find a man or girl. I would love to see some of your art, any and all kinds of it.