Im trying to make my cuts heal. I know my heart is still bleeding I can imagine the puddles on the floor. Hell, I can see them.
Time heals all wounds.
I.hate.time.
Hope is nothing but a nagging kid to me now. It seems useless. Extremely pointless, because theres always the chance its incorrect.
I hate hoping.
I hate wondering.
I hate falling in love.
I hate how it sticks to you like a thorn.
I hate how Im screaming inside half the time.
I hate how it only takes one person to break you down into ash.
I hate photographs because they hold faces that make me cry.
I hate memories and how they never go away.
I hate not being able to accept things the way they are.
I hate not knowing what is best.
Or what to do.
I hate being anywhere but right here on solid ground.
Maybe I am, or at least , was doing the right thing. Still breathing. Still moving. Sucking it up and trying to forget/get over it because it will never magically be perfect.
My heart is torn into all different pieces, and I can feel it. I can feel it in my bones.
The best drug this sXe girl ever became addicted to. And I guess I ran out way too soon. <333
_________________________________________________
So Im Catholic.
And I like girls.
Im pro-choice.
I put holes through my body that don't belong there.
I dont go to church every Sunday.
I like sex and Rock n' Roll.
And suddenly Im going to Hell. Okay.
Now take your fucking words, your little books and pamphlets, and re-evaluate yourself. Can you see the forceful, pushy, stereotypical prick in the mirror?
Welcome to reality. I havent seen you cross the line.
__________________________________________________
This is all slightly random. That's fine. That's sort of how I feel right now. So deal with it. (That sounded bitchy... damn)
Work was unbearable today. Too many people. Way too many fucking people. I've never had to move so fast in my life. Well, except for on Veteran's Day last year. That was horrible.
Everyone I loved working with quit, not to mention. Only two of them remain. The rest are newly hired employees now - and some are pretty cool, and some... I could definately do without.
I drove home listening to Lit though. That made me happy. Made me want a pretty cherry red Cadillac to drive down the street in high heels. Either that or a nice, fast stick shift to drive in a low cut tank-top and ratty chucks. Wow - that would make my life complete, actually.
Now that I'm here, at the house, I can think of a million things I want or need to do. Everything I need to do, I'll be putting off, being the procrastinator I am. As for everything I want to do... well, I can't do it all at once, and this happens to be one of them. Check out my beautiful Suicide Girls. Invision the day when I get to be doing this kind of photography. Mm. I also want to work on some art, I have a fantastic idea for a drawing, but I really don't want to start on it until I get a new sketch book. That's not happening until tomorrow when I go out. My last day off this week. Then a double shift on Sunday, 9:30-8.
Valentines Day is coming up. I don't know why I hate that day so fucking much, I guess because I always seem to either be alone, or with someone who has not one ounce of sensitivty or 'romance' in him. My friend Cody and I are jokingly "Valentines". It's cute. I love Cody. It's not the same, however.
Ah... it's a stupid Halmark Holiday. I'll spend it in Burger King with Athena and Raven, trashing men, again this year. haha.
*****
Wow, I love Eve6. And the song "Wait" by Earshot. I hope they come back here again.
I should stop rambling.
Later.
Phone me once in a while
Let me know you're alright
Tell you again that I'm fine
Then we go about our separate lives
Phone me tell me that you're waiting
By the phone for me to phone you
Once in a while
Then we go about our separate lives
Time heals all wounds.
I.hate.time.
Hope is nothing but a nagging kid to me now. It seems useless. Extremely pointless, because theres always the chance its incorrect.
I hate hoping.
I hate wondering.
I hate falling in love.
I hate how it sticks to you like a thorn.
I hate how Im screaming inside half the time.
I hate how it only takes one person to break you down into ash.
I hate photographs because they hold faces that make me cry.
I hate memories and how they never go away.
I hate not being able to accept things the way they are.
I hate not knowing what is best.
Or what to do.
I hate being anywhere but right here on solid ground.
Maybe I am, or at least , was doing the right thing. Still breathing. Still moving. Sucking it up and trying to forget/get over it because it will never magically be perfect.
My heart is torn into all different pieces, and I can feel it. I can feel it in my bones.
The best drug this sXe girl ever became addicted to. And I guess I ran out way too soon. <333
_________________________________________________
So Im Catholic.
And I like girls.
Im pro-choice.
I put holes through my body that don't belong there.
I dont go to church every Sunday.
I like sex and Rock n' Roll.
And suddenly Im going to Hell. Okay.
Now take your fucking words, your little books and pamphlets, and re-evaluate yourself. Can you see the forceful, pushy, stereotypical prick in the mirror?
Welcome to reality. I havent seen you cross the line.
__________________________________________________
This is all slightly random. That's fine. That's sort of how I feel right now. So deal with it. (That sounded bitchy... damn)
Work was unbearable today. Too many people. Way too many fucking people. I've never had to move so fast in my life. Well, except for on Veteran's Day last year. That was horrible.
Everyone I loved working with quit, not to mention. Only two of them remain. The rest are newly hired employees now - and some are pretty cool, and some... I could definately do without.
I drove home listening to Lit though. That made me happy. Made me want a pretty cherry red Cadillac to drive down the street in high heels. Either that or a nice, fast stick shift to drive in a low cut tank-top and ratty chucks. Wow - that would make my life complete, actually.
Now that I'm here, at the house, I can think of a million things I want or need to do. Everything I need to do, I'll be putting off, being the procrastinator I am. As for everything I want to do... well, I can't do it all at once, and this happens to be one of them. Check out my beautiful Suicide Girls. Invision the day when I get to be doing this kind of photography. Mm. I also want to work on some art, I have a fantastic idea for a drawing, but I really don't want to start on it until I get a new sketch book. That's not happening until tomorrow when I go out. My last day off this week. Then a double shift on Sunday, 9:30-8.
Valentines Day is coming up. I don't know why I hate that day so fucking much, I guess because I always seem to either be alone, or with someone who has not one ounce of sensitivty or 'romance' in him. My friend Cody and I are jokingly "Valentines". It's cute. I love Cody. It's not the same, however.
Ah... it's a stupid Halmark Holiday. I'll spend it in Burger King with Athena and Raven, trashing men, again this year. haha.
*****
Wow, I love Eve6. And the song "Wait" by Earshot. I hope they come back here again.
I should stop rambling.
Later.
Phone me once in a while
Let me know you're alright
Tell you again that I'm fine
Then we go about our separate lives
Phone me tell me that you're waiting
By the phone for me to phone you
Once in a while
Then we go about our separate lives
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
So are you going to hit me back or what? I still need people to fill in my word of the day assignment...
Nice eyes btw.
thanks for the comment on my set, here's like 3 more somewhere...sometime...like last year