Nape = done.
Forgive the marker.
You know how that goes.
I actually had it done yesterday afternoon.
Yeah, I'm pretty much in love with it.
I had a pretty good birthday.
Well, the end of the night wasn't exactly AWESOME, because it was filled with semi-bad news...
Jake has been here for around two weeks, and I've been spending a lot of time with him. It's been hard in a way, he's still got this enormous wall built up that I'm beating at with my fists, and let's just say that my fists are pretty bloody. Oh, and I may have cracked a knuckle or two. He's pretty tough to get to. He's a hardcore commitment-aphobe.. hah.
But I won't give up on him, for whatever fucked up reason.
For the same fucked up reason he's trying with me. If he had that much of a wall he wouldn't even be wasting his days with me, and I know that. I guess I get a little frustrated with my open feeling and his closed doors.
I will not give up.
And I will be patient.
Anyway, what I was trying to say, about the semi-bad news, was that he's leaving again... for a week or so... which sucks pretty bad, but it's not like it's three months or anything like last time, so, you know. I'll be fine. I had to spend my last night with him yesterday (my birthday). Then starting today he is gone for the next week or two. And then I just wait again. Wait for him to come back.
Once again I sit and wonder if I waste my time.
Sit and wonder.
Eh.
I'm just going to hang out. Be myself. Not worry about it.
It's the best thing I can do. I don't like to beat myself up over things.
<3
Im glad you had a good birthday.
If you keep beating Im sure you will brake through, maybe you should start using a hammer, that will get the job done Im sure.
Well 2 weeks is not that long at all.
hopefully it works out for you with your guy..im a hardfuckingcore commitmentaphobe as well..some people are just like that ..im sure if you keep up at it and be patient itll work out.. slowly but surely .
hanging out and being yourself like you said is def a good idea..thats what im trying to do..i think its working..not really sure.