xx_river_xx

Every have one of those days when you just can't stop crying?

Early this afternoon, I got an email from the man who destroyed me. a man who I am admittedly still in love with. A real apology from him for all of the pain he has caused me over the last 2 years. I blogged here earlier today, just after reading it, and it was a rather long blog. Unfortunately my computer crashed before I could save it. But suffice to say, I had a plethora of emotions running through me all day.

When Crash got home from work, he almost immediately wanted to argue. First about something I had done last night. He was complaining about how freezing it was in the house, so I gave him an extra blanket. I myself was sweltering. He was upset and went off on me about it. When he got home, he I guess wanted to explain why he was mad and make me see his point, which I still don't.

Then he wanted to talk about his sister. She is just one of those topics that will set me off, no matter how she is brought up or discussed. For over an hour, he tried persuading me that she had good intentions and that he knew her better than I did, and that she was in no way a threat. I see things differently, but he has this almost suicidal attachment to his family. Because she's "Family" she could do no wrong in his eyes...

I put it to him this way...
"If you told me that Jack the Ripper wasn't a pedophile, that still wouldn't make me think that he would be a great babysitter"

God, I hate that woman! And all afternoon, I had her thrown in my face like I was the one who had done something wrong by shunning family.

I don't know how else to say it but I feel lost. The "safe" life I chose for my children is starting to take it's toll on me.