I didn't get a single response...
So what do you guys (as my friends) think about this... granted, I know a large portion of why this became an issue is because of my own insecurities and stuff.....
But what do you say/do if something bothers you so much and all you WANT to do is slip into old habits.......
...
Had a semi-aggrivating talk with my hubby today. He never showed me any signs of actually liking how I looked until I got big. And by big I mean that I have litterally DOUBLED my weight since getting married. (I was 105 and now I'm 210!) So I always guess I thought he liked my curves and this fuller softer version of me, right? WRONG! Aparently he has been biting his tongue wanting me to get back in shape, because he is so much MORE attracted to skinny pale goth girls, like I used to be. WTF! I mean, I know he is still somewhat attracted to me, and I know he wasn't saying anything because he didn't want to hurt my feelings blah blah blah... But now I feel really weird. Like, if he loved my body before so much why did he never show it or say anything, and how come he was always telling me I needed to gain weight and kept forcing me to eat...
FYI, I was anorexic before we got married. On top of that, I had an obsession with working out. On top of not eating, I was compulsively exercizing day and night, and I never slept... I didn't even know anything was wrong with me until I was a couple months pregnant with our oldest and couldn't keep so much as WATER down. The "morning sickness" lasted all day, every day, until after I gave birth. I was so sick I ended up in the ER at least once a week... It was bad, okay? So, after having gotten over anorexia and getting to a healthier mind-set about my body image, and after having 3 kids (as well as a couple of miscarriages) all within 4 years... I have gotten to a somewhat average size. I mean, I went from having AA-cup bras to having an E. I went from having NO ass to having more nicely shaped "junk" than J-LO. So what if I gained close to 12 clothes sizes? I'm healthy now and I'd rather eat what I like and not WORRY about how fat or skinny I "have to be".
So, I'm having a sort of dilemma now. I of course DO need to excercise (having fibromyalgia, I REALLY need to excersize), but how do I keep what he said from taking over and making me work-out too much or eat not enough... ? How do YOU guys keep from doing the impulsive thing and overdoing it on diets and excersize? Especially when it's your HUSBAND who makes you feel like crap about "letting yourself go"? It isn't his intention I know, but still I notice myself slipping back into anorexic thoughts, etc...
laters
-spider
I am obsessive compulsive about many things. I finally went to a shrink, and am on a good medication that stops my OCD symptoms and also helps me to sleep. I have only one child, and an ex-husband who is my friend and a great co-parent. So, I feel lucky. You and your hubby may need some counseling about his acceptance of you the way you are. We don't make wedding vows based on the person always looking the same, especially when the look is a result of an eating disorder.
You are just fine the way you are.
twix