xviolentxbeautyx

When does it end?
The good always fall, when they try to get back up someone stands on their back.

Im sick and tired of it.
Im tired of being the one held down.

Im tired of acting like everything is ok.
When Im scared to fucking death.

Im tired of feeling alone, betrayed, used, or just forgotten.

Im tired of failing at everything my mind conjures up.

There are 2 things in this world that terrify me more then others.

Failing and dying, and right now Ive had enough of the failure part.

Maybe its a blessing and just a way to help me cop with the other fear later on in life.

Every time I take 3 steps forward, it always seems like Im falling 20 steps back.

Im anxious Im shaking.

My sister comes in my room and warps her arms around me.

Im shaking and drowning in my tears. Trying to grasp for air.

Trying to look at the one person who looks up to me and tell her that I fucked up again.

Its so hard.

If I could take away everything that would have lead up to this I would.

Despite all the happiness Ive had, Im tired of dealing with this grief.

These consequences. All because of my mistake.

Which has had an rippling effect on the rest of my life.

Months later, still suffering from the aftershocks.

When does it end?