xviolentxbeautyx

So I had a wonderful day. Went shopping for the rest of my costume. got my new tat compliments of mattasfuck Then went back home got ready to go to the UES show. By time they went off stage I was so ready to leave and find something else to do. Didnt find anythign so I stayed around. WEll, one of my old friends came by the bar. He wanted to basically hang out with me. he knew id be there. He said somethings to me that really hit hard. He basically told me that he was upset with em for never calling him. That the only reason he helped me move was cause he was interested in me. That i was people and that he waited for me. That now he has a girlfriend and they live together and blah blah blah. Which I could care less. I was happy. I am happy. Im fine the way I am. but the simple fact he sat there and said to my face that I wasnt myself. That I will never be happy until I have someone in my life to complete it. That I can sit there and smile all I want and all it will ever be is fake. ........ That hurt. That hit me soooo bad. Next thing you kneo I was taking shots of sambuca .....my best friend. Cryin my eyes out at the bar. I hated tonight. really. I think it hurts sooo much cause the point being I think he might be right. Maybe hes wrong. i dont know. I just want to go to bed and forget all about it. I have to work my last day at duclaw tomorrow. I wish i could just start this day all over. good nite.