xtrememeow

They're pretty easy to find over here.

It was one of those things that you never really realise at first then suddenly you're like "it costs how much!?!", Whenever we played games of Warhammer we'd always have to use random objects to represent half the stuff since we didn't have the money to buy the actual miniatures. It would be a case of " Right that cotton reel is my Bloodthirster Of Khorne and those green army men they're Bloodletters" you'd have to write them all down on a list or you'd forget what was what. I don't know how popular Games Workshop is now but when I was younger the place would be packed on the games night in fact it was so packed that my brothers' mate managed to nick loads of stuff like 5 complete Blood Bowl teams and a bunch of other stuff 'cause the place was that packed they couldn't see anything through the crowd, I'm getting all nostalgic now.

Hey! You're doing the right thing! But try to find out wha's going wrong and make you depressed. If your force yourself to feel happy, the bad shit under will come back and everything is to start again.

Have a nice day!!!

i read this book a while back. (more, now, again) and i guess there are any number of impressions that i could and perhaps even should have walked away with. but. months later this is what sticks with me:

the idea to live "as if." basically, to change, start with what you can control, which are your actions. and then let your will catch up. stated another way, live as if you are the person you want to be.

sure, she may have been talking about it in the context of addiction. but whatever. i think it's an interesting idea. so i'm stealing it. or trying to anyway. cuz i feel like i'm kinda in the same boat you are. i'm tired of moping around the apartment feeling like a depressed loser.

so i wish you luck on your new beginning. i hope you come to be genuinely happier.

Haha oh yeah, I should update that blog. We broke up on monday. Was a mutual thing. If i can be buggered updating it before I goto work I will. Hopefully I'll be making my way to cananda in either '08 or '09. Im going back to Germany in '08 but i wouldnt mind going to a few different countries while im in the general area haha. I constantly hear the Canada is an overseas version of Australia, but with less kangaroos and more snow haha

thank you

sometimes people suck

things got better between us, but i still need new friends

I don't know if you have head of Ctrl+Alt+Del, but it's a webcomic. They to hold a giant Lan party each year called Digital Overload and this year me and my friends decided to go. It has only been on day and apprently this has ended up being on of the worst decsions of my life. First of all I'm sorry, but I've never been to the U.S.A. before and this country has made a very bad impression on me and i just want to get the fuck out. I know that I haven't seen everything, but what I have seen I don't like. Tht is not the bad part though the bad part is that apprently my friends don't give a shit about me. All I wanted to do was go on a nice trip with my friends and have some fun, but apprently because I haven't devoted my entire life to video games, I am not good enough to hang out with them. I have decided to get on a bus tommorow and head back to Canada without telling anyof them, sure it's a 20 hour bus ride and i don't have the money for it. If I stick around here any longer I will forget that my 2 best friends are still up in Canada and I know that at least they love me for who I am and not my fucking ability to play some shitty video game. I mean It's just a LAN party, there is nothing at stake during a game and the point is just to have fun fuck them. I am not a gamer antmore anyway I prefer to spend my time making music or catching a local band. So I geuss it is time for me to start over, make new friends and beat the shit out of my old ones.

I have finaly had a huge falling out with a friend, alot of the times when I lose friends it's just because we grow apart, but this time i have actully ended up telling the person that i am going to kick his ass if I ever see him again, and i am a pretty big guy and that is a scary threat. I am also a really nice guy most of the time and being this angry at someone feels weird, but I told him to many times that he was acting inappropitely, i can take it when he takes cheap shots at me, because i'm used to it, but when he dose it to someone i care about it pisses me off. I have never really abeen this mad at anyone before, but i hope for his sake that he knows how serious i am and acctuly makes a effort to avoid me.