No, this isn't just a "Monday morning can't get out of bed/ can't get motivated" thing.
I want to quit my job and go on Centrelink.
I want cheek piercings. When I was 15 I told my parents that I wanted cheek piercings. Now i'm almost 20 and I still don't have cheek piercings.
I have a loan that I'm paying off right now but I also have loan insurance so that in the event that I become unemployed the bank will continue to meet my repayments for me for a period of up to three years.
So I figure, fuck it. I've been working in this job now for almost two years
but it's not the working that bothers me. Believe me I have no problem having a reason to get out of bed every day, going to a job where I work under an exceptional woman whom I have a lot of respect for. I have no problem working in a job where I can basically take leave when I want provided the office will be able to cope in my absense, and where I practically live off the office food throughout my day because I'm too lazy to bring my own to work and where I can rock up to work on Monday morning and call my boss to say can you please come in now because I've left my keys in a mates car and can't open the office to which she responds I'll be there in ten, don't worry about it! (Even though she's not due in for an hour).
My problem is that this, the person that I see myself being and the style that I see myself having is not conjucive to office work. And no matter how exeptional my boss is I don't expect her to be okay with cheek piercings. Being a legal secretary I am the first point of contact client's have with her business and as such I am basically, to an extent, the representative face of her business.
I completely understand that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. But that old classic is a general expression to provide encouragement to stick with a course of action that will get you to where you want to be in the long run and for the bigger picture. I don't want to be a lawyer and I don't want to be the top secretary at a big firm with strict dress standards and policies. So what i'm doing now is not one of those "gotta do it" type situations.
I've just heard so many times and from so many people that if there is anything that you can see yourself doing or anything else that you'd rather be doing then go for it. you'll only regret it if you don't. And I have a feeling that if I stick with this I'm not going to wake up in five years time rejoicing at the fact that I have an exeptional typing speed and pleasant phone manner but I am going to regret the fact that I didn't do what I wanted to. And what I want to do is put wholes in my face!
So there you have it. I think some times we place too much security in positions and in jobs and in income. Not that being supported by Centrelink is the ultimate dream for me, I'm just not sure if I want to put aside my wants (however small or trivial) for the broader plan that is the "career path".
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