i am so lost right now, i went to my bosses b-day party and drank. I only drank for like 2 hours and i was really upset about work and alot of stressful shit thats been going on. My friend taylor beggged me to go even though i didnt want too.She said i need to hav fun and spending time without my bf for a day wouldnt kill me. So i went thinking of him the entire time ,i called him drunk and told him i loved him and he hung up the phone on me . i didnt understand why i was really missing him like crazy so i stopped drinking to sober up cause i dont believe in drunk driving.so at around 10:30 i finally got to his house.I was 100 percent fine not even buzzed, and i kept calling his phone. H e wouldnt pick up. I must have called him at least 20 times. I saw him in his house just ignoring me and it hurt so much.I didnt know why he was so upset with me.he is the most important thing i have in my life. IIf he would of just told me he didnt want me to go i would of stayed home. Just the peer pressure of taylor made me go. The whole time i was talking about him and telling talor that i didnt think it was a good idea.i didnt wanna hurt him. Now i am laying in bed by myself without him. It hurts me so bad not being next to him. I wish he would of talked to me about it so i could have just worked it out last night. i love him so much he is the reason i was put on this earth.My whole day was hectic i worked with out a break till4:40 i was supose to get off at 4.No one knew what they were doing so i had to constantly redo their errors. It was just so horrible.All i wanted was my bf i even called him and told him how upset and depresssed i was.I couldnt stop crying the last 3 hours. I just dont wanna lose him.And i dont want him to think i'm like kelly causse im not i hardly ever drink. My blackberry died so he couldnt pin me then my phone had one bar left so i shut it off so i could cal him when i got outta the party.Since i didnt have my chargers i didnt wanna waste the battery life. I do everything for him thats what i cant understand. I would of invited him i even called him twice about it but i didnt know where mike's house was and i had to follow mark and taylor there. when i calle dhim like 20 times later on that night i must have waited at least an hour outside his house. I love him so much ,and the pain hurts so bad. I just want him next to me right now and kissing me softly till i go to sleep.I just wish that this drama could have been avoided.My soul purpose is to make my b/f happy and i don't think i'm doing that.i try so hard to make him happy but there are some things that just set him off.I really wish i knew why he was so mad at me.i wanna spend my life with this man, and if he was just honest about how he felt none of this would of happened.He is so amazing i can't stand this. I need severe emotional help right now to the point i wanna go back to threapy.I love him and i'll never stop loving him. Its just this shit confuses me and i don't know what to do. My heart is aching over this.When the person u love hates u its the worst feeling in the entire world u feel so dead inside. i love him so much,i don't know anyone who loves him as much as i do. 