xmt

hey all. thanks for the well wishes.

well. i've been sitting here for almost an hour and i can't get anything out right.

things are ok. not as bad as they could be, but not as good as i had hoped.
hmmm...story of my life?

the jist is...
i am detached and distant in a way that makes girls uncomfortable.
apparently this is enough to negate all the " great and wonderful" things about me.... hrmmph.
she's right though. she needs something i don't have. there really isn't another way around it.
she'll be happier one day for it. i'm sorry it couldn't be me.

the thing is, it is that i "live in my head" or that i am "somewhere else" that permits my creativity... and that's what you like about me in the first place, isn't it?
without that, what would i be, but a big dick?
a gonowhere, that's what.

sucks, but i've been here before...probably will be again.
i just hate all the hurt feelings.

...not mine.
boys don't cry.