:sigh: sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I was born with no emotions, no capability to feel ANYTHING.I guess Im TOO emotional, which I thought wasnt a bad thing for the longest time, but my ideas on that are starting to change. I dont wanna like this boy. I dont wanna be afraid of what he might say if I tell him Im kinda diggin him. I wish I didnt care about what the bf will think when I finally get up the cajones to tell him I wanna leave, and probably not come back. I wish I wasnt so afraid to do something risky, but the simple fact that its 80% going to blow up in my freakin face cuz thats just my shit ass luck. I just keep sitting here sighing, trying to think of some way that I can change some element in my life to make me happy. Thats ALL I want...to be happy...and everyday that goes by it seems harder and harder to acheive that. As you can tell Im having a shitty day, or maybe it was week, or month, or life....who knows...its just one of those days and I NEED A VACATION!!!!!!
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Friday Jan 31, 2003
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