xiolablue

Hi! I'm a loser!
So...I'm dropping my classes. I haven't been able to focus on school at all. I really need to assess where I am in my life and since April 30th (the day my life changed for the worse...one of my best friends was killed...the first person I've ever loved and lost) I really haven't had a chance to mourn or get my life back together or anything...I thought that by now I'd be able to "get on with my life" but I've just been barely maintaining for the past six months...and I've had to move twice since then and I lost my job and now that I'm settled in a place, I think that my (sub)concious has decided that it's time to just let go...I want to stay in bed with the covers over my head and be so ridiculously stoned that I can't even think...I feel like a failure (as usual) but I can't focus on anything except for myself right now...and even though I have these grand plans for my future, unfortunately, life happens which sometimes prevents things from going the way I'd have liked...

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Whenever I really feel like shit, for some reason, spending money makes me feel a bit better so last night I went to Telegraph Ave. and bought a couple of books:

The Notebooks of Leonardo DaVinci (I saw this play a couple of months ago and WOW...)

Man Ray: Photographs, Paintings, Objects


and some music (some of which was lost/stolen and I'm replacing):
cds
DESCENDANTS - Somery
JANE'S ADDICTION - Ritual de lo Habitual
LOW - Songs for a Dead Pilot
THEMSELVES - The no music.
OPETH - Morningrise (tin edition)
OPETH - Orchid (tin edition)
OPETH - My Arms Your Hearse (tin edition)

lps
A PERFECT CIRCLE - The Thirteenth Step
SCORPIONS - Best of Scorpions

I also need to buy the OPETH dvd when it comes out in 2 weeks...I was planning on preordering it (like I do with all of their releases) but I can't justify spending that much more $$$ right now...

I feel slightly guily for spending so much money but also positively ELATED becuase I haven't bought this much music in ages and I really needed it...


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Speaking of OPETH, they're coming back here in January...yes Yes YES! AND they're playing a new set so it looks like I'm going to be emailing a certain someone to make sure he puts my favorite song When on the list...I've been wanting to hear that song live for AGES...Damn...I love me some Opeth...

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Now that I'm going to have all this time on my hands, I need to start working on my ideas for new tats...