Thursday Nov 25, 2004

0
Well i had fun last night at the fop show, and fuck all you who didint go!, lol j/k. I know xenia sucks and most of you wouldent want to drive there to see a show. but it was good though, decent crowd to.

besides the pa issues it was good. enola didint do to well, but negative process and morphic kicked ass.
.................................................................................
I hate being so damn shy, I always thought the fact that i couldent get a date was becouse i was like ugly or something, but apperently thats not it, I just act difrent around the girls that I like(to nice most of the time). Its like I try so hard to get them to like me that they end up not liking me, Or just liking me as a friend which sucks so bad..

It just hurts so bad to care about some one so much and to have them not realy care if your around...

And now theres this other girl at work that Ive been hanging out with just as friends ya know, and im cool with that. and i kinda knew that she liked me a little more, then last night a few people at teh show told me that she wants to go out with me..

and now its like the exact opposite of the way things normaly are, She likes me and but i only wana be friends.

and what im about to say here is realy fucked up I know, I dont want to offend any one, I wish I wasnt like this but i cant help it.
But the reason I dont like her any more then friends is becouse shes black, Im not racest or nothing, im just not attracted to black girls for some reason, which is realy fucked up. but theres nothing I can do about it.

so i guess i gota figure out wtf im gona do about this, I see them both every day at work. so i gota figure out something soon......
xiiibullets:
wow that was a long post. lol.
Slipknot - Vermillion

.....She is everything and more
The solemn hypnotic
My Dahlia, you're bathed in possession
She is home to me

I get nervous, perverse when I see her it's worse
But the stress is astounding
It's now or never she's coming home
Forever

Oh (She's the only one that makes me sad)

Hard to say what caught my attention
Fixed And crazy, Aphid Attraction
Carve my name in my face, to recognize
Such a pheromone cult to terrorize

I won't let this build up inside of me.....

allycat_13:
Damn you, thats my favorite song, but my current ex is who I think of most when I hear it. He was perfect, but not and was the only one who could make me incredibly happy and sad at the same time. But hey he is now an ex huh, lol. Tis be my favorite song on the third cd, just put that Vermillion one and two on repeat. If you don't know what all the words mean, which I didn't, you should look them up. Vermillion is a shade of red. Thought that was interesting.
Thanks, I've posted a couple poems throughout my journal. Only three so far, but would like to start it more often to see what people think.
And thanks for the Mushroomhead references. If their heavy I bet I would like them. Will go pick up a cd when I get back home.

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