I remember hearing about Suicide Girls when they first laid tracks for an alternative community featuring models that were not of the cookie cutter variety and much more... bold. They were different, original, and better yet they were allowed to be themselves. Social media sites like MySpace and FaceBook focused on the friends we knew while introducing us to new bands and brands. Playboy and Penthouse featured women with mostly cookie cutter curves and fairly clean skin for decades before opening a page of the SG variety. Everything was clean, simple, and almost too sanitized to feel real and down to earth. Hell, the models posing nude and interacting with other adult stars in those X-rated films felt highly unattainable and barely approachable. They were Goddesses in our dreams and nothing more than paintings in a museum or films at a picture show for us to enjoy.
Twenty years ago the balance shifted and a new site emerged that taxed our modems and finely balanced itself between work appropriate and NSFW content. I know much of it was slightly balanced toward the NSFW side because many of the folks gathering around the campfire were looking forward to seeing these absolutely beautiful tattooed and pierced women moreso than looking to actually communicate with them, but once the groundwork was laid and the community grew it became something more than Playboy for the tattooed weirdos. It became a campground for people all around the world looking to see beauty in a light far from Hollywood, away from the glitz and glam, right here in our own backyards. Literally, I've known a few Suicide Girls from right around the block here in Northeastern Ohio and seen many pass from cities just an hour or two away. In fact, I've met, loved, and became close to folks as far away as the exact opposite point on the planet within my time spent here.
I didn't join Suicide Girls back in 2001 because I was slightly prude and fairly inexperienced in most of life. Raised in a boring, white, middle class Midwestern area with no real trouble to get into and nothing flashy and fancy to chase after I admired from afar for a minute or two before realizing who I was and took that dip into the pool at the coolest party in the neighborhood. I was still too nervous in 2004 to interact with the models like Katie and Mary, but sent a little love their direction when new sets were released. Eventually, I got into a groove and shed some of my nerves as I commented on sets, interacted with the communities, and reached out to some that would later become friends.
Suicide Girls opened it's doors wider as the world became bigger through the internet and women of many shapes, sizes, colors, cultures, and creeds joined in to not only show off some of that beautiful canvas they call skin, but to swim around the pool as we celebrate our own freaky Fourth of July. This became the place to celebrate freedom, to be honest with oneself without the need to wear a mask, the joint to get you high without spending a single dime or brain cell on drugs or alcohol.
There have been some bumps along the way as the community grew, as people shifted their attire from casual to business, but at the heart of it all the site remained what @sean and @missy and brought to the table. They were the playful Dungeon Masters for a LARP experience that required us to leave our costumes at the door and finally play out our heart's desires. It almost sounds backwards when said aloud, but so many of us have worn masks to please our family members or dressed a certain way to be work appropriate and now we had the chance to leave it all behind and just be ourselves.
I was always this shy boy even as an adult and finding this safe space to communicate helped me learn to build relationships that were honest and even allowed me to find a little magic when approaching women. The latter is still rocky at best even with dating sites galore and my ability to be more confident in the truths I share, but it's a step in the right direction.
Twenty years ago this space was created for people who didn't want to fit into a mold. The punk rock, metal head, straight edge, hippie revolution began and took the world by storm as it became a campfire we gathered at to speak politics, let anxieties loose, and network. Who hasn't seen a Suicide Girl as an extra in crime drama on television, a film starring a Suicide Girl or two (like Wizard of Gore), a music video with that gorgeous girl next door, or even some of those Playboy videos that featured some of your favorite models? They're everywhere and they started off right here in the tent next to us. Still the women of Suicide Girls kick their shoes off and get their feet dirty with unknown suburban nerds like me, like you, like the people still a little too shy to participate in blogs and sets.
I was never the popular guy in school, but when societal norms were shattered and a worldwide community accepted me I became... well, not popular or anything, but I fit in and had the chance to love a member or two, party with photographers and models, and be something more than a white boy from the Midwest. It still makes me smile to think about all the parties in Columbus, Ohio with @sunshine and @alissa or the comic conventions hanging with (now mostly retired) models... I still even text or call a few members from the early days and some still linger on the site from 10, 15, or 20 years ago.
I wish I had the energy to give this site a proper shout out with epic photo shares, love to ladies like @gnomi, @phianixx, @olgakulaga, @mandeelou, @marlene, @lushlex, @romany, @zen about 20 or 50 more names deserving of mention that I can't think of right now and high fives to cool dudes like @nickstone, @kungfury, @flare04, @gregmikk, and @ojtheviking, but things have been rocky outside of the community and I'm not feeling my usual pre-pandemic role.
I appreciate every single hopeful, model, and member that became a part of my life and continues to be part of my life through thick and thin. There's an amazing support system in place right here and without it my life wouldn't evolve as it has over the past twenty years. There's love in every corner and if you keep your heart open it'll find it's way from one heart to yours.
Happy Birthday to Suicide Girls and the amazing people that offered me a safe space, the community that welcomed me, and the women too damn awesome to be living right next door. I found my place and although I've come and gone numerous times throughout the years I always find myself right back here.
Cheers, mates!
Love always,
Xander
@penny @missy @sean
