Dear friends,
It's been one hell of a long journey these past few years and even longer if you were to count my first days struggling to fit in as an awe-struck young buck unfamiliar with love and the mysteries it continues to hold for us all. We've all had many ups and downs, climbed many mountains, swam across the ocean numerous times, and looked to the stars for answers. Life is a beautiful struggle and we've all had our share of life's troubles as we struggled to put food on the table, had our hearts broken, found out that every sunny day had shadows filled with naysayers and haters berating us on social media, and yet most of us had found something we truly love through all the pain, tears, and sometimes blood.
We're constantly trying to find ourselves no matter how much we think we know ourselves, what we love, what we feel, or how we want to live our lives. We continue to work toward a bigger goal, sink deeper into our souls trying to pick up a few pieces we left behind, forgot we had, or never knew we had, and attempt to strike up new ideas of self and the world that surrounds us. Maybe it's not the world that surrounds us but the person we are that surrounds the world as we shape our future with choices we make today, creating a pathway toward new ideas and leaving breadcrumbs for those that want to follow our journey until they gain and understanding how they can create their own path through the endless forest that continually evolves as we do the same. Nothing exciting ever happened while remaining stagnant. Excited molecules create reactions causing an event to occur that changes the whole world for those molecules that now find themselves bound, diversified, or somewhere between.
We create to survive our mundane existence. We alter reality based on our perceptions as we create a new vision of something we hope to see or share our version of something that once was so that we can be something greater. Our reality will never be a stable one because so many are linked together and every single one is unique like a snowflake. Our perceptions may be limited enough to make us believe we can categorize individuals based on interests or talents, but every single one of us are an integral part of that reality as we weave our favorite colors into the web singing our favorite lyrics and making elaborate designs so beautiful that they inspire others to take it one step beyond... it's a beautiful picture. We are not going to find out who we are when we fall in love for the fifth time or find something that seems to describe us because we will always want to search for something better and create something that is unique to ourselves whether we use a few building blocks from something that inspired us or create something entirely new.
Sometimes it's easy to forget that we are a collection of our mistakes as much as we are a collaboration of accomplishments tied together to make this successful person we see in the mirror. Every moment we spent in the ER with a broken leg, the collection of tissues piled high over a devastating heartache, and the many other things we've done that could have held us on the same step forever actually motivated us to climb higher up the steps and reach for something greater. Stagnation never allows growth, so every single time we did something by mistake it was a cause for us to take a step in another direction and that direction was upward. We're not perfect in any traditional sense based on these accomplishments, but we're perfectly us every time we follow our heart and mind because those mistakes our ours to own and every accomplishment is ours to smile about as we take note of how far we've come. We can't forget what brought us to today, but we can't dwell on what once was otherwise reality will shift right past us and we'll struggle even harder to find our path through it all in our continued search for self.
I'm leaving the community for a while, but it's not without heavy heart I make this decision. I, too, want to find myself and have continually found myself sitting stagnantly at home more often than looking toward the stars and altering my reality to suit the vision I have buried deep inside. I don't know what lies ahead, but then I don't think any of us are supposed to know what lies ahead because we're constantly forging a path that may not be as simple as what our eyes perceive straight ahead. It's time I tried something a little different so that I can finally breathe something other than dust and memories.
We're always evolving and reaching toward the stars, but every light cast creates a shadow behind us that will only weigh us down if we look back and allow that weight to carry us. Remember that we're going to stumble and people may look and laugh from time to time, but we aren't doing this for them or anyone else. We are doing this for us. We may create some art we love to share or have an idea that will carry many of us forward, but we are ultimately seeking ourselves in everything we do. Our kind hearts and the rhythm they make will influence others to dance as they listen to our song so it is far from a selfish idea. We are creating our world and offering ourselves to everyone as we open up to the possibility that anything is possible in this life. We are an open book and the author writing our story in the public eye so that our stories can come alive through interwoven story lines of those around us.
I am thankful every day for the friendships made within this community as some have shown simple appreciation while others chose to close the physical distance with constant communication, but more importantly I feel like most of us have become family in some form or another. Maybe some of us are distant cousins that speak only once every year on the holidays while others maybe talk too much about the silliest and simplest little events our in lives as an excuse to remain in constant contact like a pesky little brother or sister testing the bonds to ensure they remain strong, but wherever we are today I can honestly say that I feel like we are, indeed, family. I have found influence to chase a few dreams by some, I have been inspired to creatively write by others, and some have even unintentionally motivated me to send silly sexy selfies as entertainment when they are having a bad day, but every single person has been there for me to help shape my evolution into the man I am right now.
Thank you, my dear friends and family. You aren't just gorgeous models posing every lady bit to perfection, faceless photographers, or community members that agree about a few hot photos. You are all the heart and soul of this community as you close the gap between oceans and barren land to bring culture, art, knowledge, and love to everyone here. It's an amazing place to be and, just like any child leaving home, sometimes it takes moving far away from a loving home to find out what we really want in life before coming back for the holidays or finding a way to make distance work, but we all leave sometime to find ourselves and I'm sure many of the veteran models that have been here a decade or more have taken some time off to seek a life that suited them before jumping back into another interest they never wanted to leave behind.
In three days my membership will close, but not because of money or depression, not because a girl broke my heart or because I hate someone here. I will be off seeking ways to make some adventures become reality and shape my reality to something more fitting for me.
If you do want to remain in contact my Instagram account(s) listed on my SG profile will remain active. I am barely active on Facebook (though I communicate regularly with Messenger), but you can find me there, too, under Josh Kollar (the profile photo should be pretty obvious if you've seen any of my selfie posts). There are plenty other methods of contact, but you'll have to connect with me otherwise to trade off e-mails, Whatsapp contact information, Snapchat, or gaming profiles (XB1, PS4, Steam, Nintendo Switch).
Thank you again. I'm going to attempt to list everyone, but I'm going to miss some newer friends and will definitely miss some models that have changed their name since recently becoming pink or whatever the excuse is for the name change.
Before I drop the massive list... Have a Happy New Year!
I love you all!
Sincerely,
Xander
🌈🦄💖🤘🍕😘🖤
@rambo @missy @sean
@420_chef_lt @a_popenko @abbeyso @abbym @abbyshigh @absol @acami @acrux @acsebo @acuarian @adalyn @adalyn_hatake @adastra @adeli @adistoker @aditi_ @adkc @admiralbeanbabe @aelin @aemelia @aeterna @afrodite @agatha @aglaope @aikah @ajilee @akril @alenagzhel @alerose @alexabstract @alexander_magnus @alexxdarko @alicebong @alicesey @alicesin @alisong @alissa @alkaline @allis @almendra @aloy @alphaze @alteaaetla @alterkate @alyssa @amandaellen @amberlynnrose @amerikat @amia @amirose @amortentia @amy @amyra @ananna_trix @anas @anavoig @anclefairy @andgie @andrealaz @andrealynn @angelgore @angellima @angiewa @anjave @annabatman @annoir @anoukevil @antiverse @apollo @apolly @april_divine @aprilblaze @arachnie @ariel @ariella @arifont @arinmay @arkhaam @armani @arriane @arson @asami @ashena @astargoth @astralyn @asxna @atlanticlungs @atomic @aurorah @aurralee @autumnsky @avecalluna @aviana @avina @avrora @axelreign @ayah @aymel @aymi @azalea @azarath @azucar @azulcielo @azzyy @babilina @badgalgigi @bae @baileyz @bambifx @bane_vader @barbs @barkmantis @beckah @beecky @bellepoupee @berger_ @betth @betzyblack @biahink @biancab @bigblue78 @birdi @bitelchusa @bizkit @blaizee @blink @blizzard @blodvy @blooma @blossyblue @blublu @bluedette @bluenicorn @blueunicorn @bobonco @booba @bookcouple @borgia @bourbon @braaa @brea @breca @bretema @bricksie @brisen @britta @brizell @brizelll @bruna @brunam @brypunky @bubsybabey @bud @buddy3338 @bulletjane @cabani @caelyx @caia @calla @cameronstewart @camik @camilla @camille @candytoc @caraphernelia @carlahowe @carolinehellcat @carrina @cartoon @casca @casiopea @catarina @catb @catcharlotte @catriel @caughtfiresg @caustix @celesta @ceres @ceriz @cersei @chalk @channy @chef @cherany @cherryany @cheshi @chi_ @chiyosa @chloee @chloemai @chroi @churtch @ciiri @circa @clair @claudiaf @clem @cleodora @clio @coffinskiss @colorfoxx @comet @conrada @coolicio @coralinne @coralyne @core @cossmic @courtneymae @cripplethreat @crisro @cygnet @daddy @dahl @dahliaray @dainty @damage @dame @damsel @damseldoll @damselfly @dareal @dariianity @darishka @darkmoonmedia @darlingvixen @darryldarko @darthox @dasha @dasirya @dawud @deadguitarist @decklynn @defh @delaney @delmo @deskicio @destiny_ @dfons @dharma @diamant @dianalark @dimaslonik @dinhasun @dirtyloweredtiguan @discordia @dizmay @dizziemisslizzie @dk @dlistsupervillain @doce @dojikko @dollie @dollyd @dominga @dona @doncella @donnawildcard @dorsal @drachen @dragona @drave @dread @drew @dyogenes @eden @effy @eirenne @elaena @eleanorgee @eliieweeds @eliona @elisa @elisarose @elizadawn @ellellcee @ellenalvez @ellia @ellie @elliemouse @ellqvist @elmira @elune @eminence @emylie @enchantress @enigmasuicide @enjin @enrapture @epiic @epyk @ergwath @erikabrasil_ @erismorn @erloria @espiona @euforia @evalareina @evalia @evamoon @evanesco @evaray @eveel @eveowl @evevalentine @evoke @evviebrown @exning @eyrakendra @eyrien @fae @fate @fay @fayewhyte @fe @feena @fenixsun @fennek @fiby @filicity @fishball @fla @flare04 @fleet @flipside @flowerbomb @flowerstar @floyd @foodone @fortnightphotos @forty @fotobro @foxieheart @foxxievon @foxxy @frags @francy @frani @fransc @fresa @freyahz @freyamae @fromlimbo @frosty @fulmine @fuyuko_fa @gabelysouza @gabs @gadget @galda @gatete @geminianastasia @gemmaedwards @gemmaedwardsuk @ghostleeb @gigirouge @ginebra @girlpoweer @gitanna @giuchi @giuno @gladyce @glameow @gleiz @gloom @gnomi @golden @goldie @goose @govea @gpryme @gracieuxlove @graysin @gregmikk @greie @grenadine_rose @gret @gritypster @gschmelzer @gunflower @gynger @hadid @hadley @haileigh @harmohh @hartlee @harvest @haub @havenwaves @hayley_b @hazee @heatherrann @heiwa @helenarae @helenjade @hellcat @hellen_usagi @helynn @herem @hilo @hiptobes @holden @hollystark @honeybea @hopeiero @howlite @hylia @illowblack @illusion @immeganlive @immutable @indaco @indigo @indismith @infernum @inngrin @irana @isas_ @iso @ivory @ivygehenna @ivylina @ivyrose @jacinto2 @jacqueline @jacqui_daniels @jadesolo @jane_jame @janelane @janesinner @jases @jaxy @jayde @jecht @jeeh @jelly @jenin @jennings @jessacat @jessicajoyy____ @jessicalou @jessicalynn @jessicasarah @jessie_d @jessieoops @joseebella @joseline @jubileegirl @judde @juhconnie @juju @juliatyki @julieevee @juliju @junipr @jupiter @just_sick @jvliemichelle @kaboommunster @kadito @kaegune @kahlia @kaleria @kalik @kalincamaki @kalita @kaliva @kandyb @kaptaine @karanlit @karinaserpentina @kasha @katharine @katherine @kaydie @kaylarosalie @kaylin @kels @kelyfox @kemper @keshia @keto_sgh @kettle @kewpie @kezia @khacherry @khachery @kiibaby @killer @killpop @kinich @kinnyaerlin @kinzy @kioja @kioui @kithydoll @kittenblue @kittybee @kittyqueen @kizar @klinchubs @kmila @konekoya @korie @kpax @kraven @krito @krrren @kungfury @kuroha @kush @kwanon @kyanite @kyla @kzphotography @laceyjane @lady @ladydisturbia @ladyfirefox @ladykaotik @lagoona @lahozma @laikaa @lanei @larabea @lascaux @latias @laudam @lauretta @lava @lavish @lavish_ @leaf @leandra @leeh @leelou @leemalee @leemonade @leighgabriel @lerahimera @leviathan @lexusjayne @lexxi @licka @lilbaby@puffa @lildolly @liley @lili_ @lillibayle @lillithvain @lilly @lilyann @lilymai @lilyt @lincoln @linley @liryc @lishablackhurst @little @livay @liya @liyamoris @lizzierose @lliri @lluanamoon @lo_ @lockhart @lolitta @lollahattori @loop @lord_firefox @lorenablaze @lorettarose @lorii @lorry @lottey @loulux @lounatic @loveless @lovesick @lovia @lowe @loxleyheart @loz829 @lublue @luciloser @lucyv @lufae @luie @luluralphlauren @lumyoukai @lunablu @lunaraise @lure @luscious @lushlex @lust @luventa @luxes @lydiajasmine @lynienicole @lyune @lyxzen @machetefly @maddisonmyers @magnea @majora @maleh @malika @mameha @mand @mandajune @mandeelou @manic @manika @manko @manson @margee @mari @mariafox @mariajupiter @maripedrazzi @marisabel @mariselle @marlene @marshmallow @maryberry @maryjaneinmybrain @marythunder @marzipan @matoushka @maud @maya_pink @mayumicorn @mckenzie @mdcsoul @mdt @mecgee @medusaw @meela @megan @mel_z @melamori @melanya @melusine2908 @mercury @mermaidvampire @merryboudoir @merylmess @mewes @mhere @miacherry @miahblue @miamischievious @mickey @mikey @mila @milagros @milenci @milkydame @mille @milliesummers @milloux @miloszbeardlove @mimo @minuminula @minxy_ @miro @miss_bella_cyanide @missanthropee @missbijou @missfernandez @missjcristina @missmarilyn_ @missnickers @missy @mistress @mistyy @mitska @miyumiyu @momoka @monah @mone @monteluxe @moonchiild @moony @morgainne @morgam @morikat @moriko @mourderousx @mouse @moxy @msilveira @mugen1r @myllaka @myssacat @mysticsoul_xo @naet @nanashin @nancylynn @nanymoon @narsil @naru_blu @nastyaveter @natalia_randle @natari @natashalegeyda @nattestid @nattybohh @naypi @nayru @nebra_ @nebula @nemhain @neptuce @neptune @ness @nessee @neter @niallpatterson @nickstone @niffler @nikita @nilly @ninaserena @ninette @np33di @nug @numa @numbra @nykki @nymphae @oakheart @obsidian @oceana 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@robynlee @romany @ronro @ropers71 @roro @rosegalah @rosemo @rouge @rowyn @roxxxy @roxylan @royal @rubie @rubyalexia @rugersantana @runa @runs_with_deer @sacmis_ @saegan @salemgrey @samanta_bunny @samina @sammiii @sarahmoon @sarelle @saria @sarina @sash @sashabrink @satin @saturn @scarletteisley @scribbles @sean @seesaw @sejmet @selenite @serene @shaine @shamandalie @shiolah @sia_ @sierhaus @silentobjectorx @silhen @silver @silvery @sinamon @sinovuyo @sirena @sirenerouge @sirenn @sithis @sivir @sk0ty @skadhi @skella @ski @skies @sky_barbara @skydot @skyy @slim @smashbase @smoky @snowyfeles @sobelle @solita @solsiren @solstice_ @somer @soniico @sophiecoady @sophii @sophoulla @souffle @soulful @soulkiller @sova @squeak @sskkiinn @stanislava @stark @starry @steb @stellanoir @stephanie @stephaniejo @stephr @strawberry @strawberrysiren @suixy @sultry @sunniejones @sunny @sunshine @surreal_ @susu @swann @switch @syduck @sylphaex @synthee @talena @talketna @tallandspooky @tangie @tatycamili 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@zakris @zamurai @zen @zephyr @zirael @zoemarie @zuarash @zweena
If I missed you, sorry! I can't keep up with this list, but I hope you know I still love you.
