xheartswornx

As Thanksgiving approaches in the US I reflect upon the many things in my life that I am thankful landed in my lap. I've suffered heartache and have been granted love. I have gifted and have received smiles. Every moment in my life that was followed by an inhale or exhale shaped myself and everyone that surrounds me. I am thankful for the pain, the hugs, the people, the life that I have.

Through the pain, the thoughts of suicide, and the struggle to hold on to an existence that I still question I have become more perceptive in regards to the values of life. I have learned the deeper values of love and fought tooth and nail to bring joy to the people that surround me. I am thankful for all the cuts, broken hearts, blood, sweat, and tears I shed because it allowed me a chance to see life from behind the shadows so that I could guide others to the light. I am thankful that I have my family no matter how silly some of their beliefs may be, grateful for my friends no matter how childish some fights have been, and thankful for love even though it hurts many times. I may not always cherish the worst of times but when the storm clears I am thankful for everything the sun shines upon.

There are no words that could truly embody the emotions the swirl and grow at exponential rates over every hug and every smile. No lyrics or syllables that could justify the worth of what you mean to my heart, my soul. My very breath on a daily basis is as much due to the oxygen provided by vegetation as it is by the love and support that you offer. I wish I could offer something in equivalent exchange for this beauty in life that you granted me so readily, but even I must admit that love doesn't exactly work like a simple mathematical equation. It's as deep as an ocean yet as simple as a child's love for his/her mother. I hope you'll accept this simple gesture and when you return the favor you pay it forward to the people who need it most.

Thank you for being a friend. (Golden Girls anyone?)

@kaptaine You look out for me as you lift me up on shoulders that already bear the weight of the world. No matter how shite a situation you shove it aside as if it were an option and thrust your hand through the fire to lift me above molten earth and smoldering embers. There's not a brother I could love more as I see you continually rise a phoenix, proud, filled with glorious strength and honor bound. You lifted my bloody hands from wreckage great and small. Thank you.

@kungfury I love talking video games, but I am grateful you are here to not only discuss mental health but also lift the spirits of those who choose to run in your ninja clan. You help promote the lovely ladies inside and outside of SG, promote positive mental health, and never sleep until every rival of Arthur's is put to rest or until your friends find solace to rest their weary head for the night.

@hiptobes You, mate, are a true scholar and gentlemen that has rubbed elbows with some of the most intelligent and attractive ladies on the site while praising every ounce of their beautiful being and still find time to give a minute to those of us that don't occupy your dreams. I'm not offended, I would rather dream about @mandeelou than you. You really do provide a great voice as part of this family and you're simply irreplaceable... to the tune of "Simply Irresistible" by Robert Palmer. Sorry, spoofing music is my forte. It's what I do.

@ropers71 Though we never served together you make it feel as if we served in the same trenches, covered in the same muck, and here you give up your MRE like the big brother I never had. Bonds like this are not easily disturbed and continue to grow like ivy until we are not two but a single unit pushing forward to create change for the betterment of those that never even hear a round fired during the battle for light. You are not blood, but you are my brother through and through. Always one to help promote the worthy women to the graces they deserve when not rescuing hearts from torrential sea storms or broken hearts from moments of sadness.

@gadget We seriously don't talk enough, but it's great we bumped heads. Similar souls yet different enough hailing from similar parts of the world and different enough to be parts of this same 500 piece puzzle called life. We've only just begun a long journey with similar thought, but I look forward to walking that same path with kick-ass walkers when our knees give out and we still dare to tread the path we started long ago. We could wear skates, but at some point that walker will offer more stability many years down the line. Let's take this path less traveled and make it our own.

@gpryme I don't think we've every really met yet I only hear great things from both models and members alike. When I hear words of such honorable intention thrown your direction I admit I am intrigued to know such a fella that will lay down foot in defense and offer heart in praise. There aren't enough good folks in this world yet I hear you're a good one.

@silentobjectorx Dude, you post great music and have such great intention to make the world right when you spin your true tales of heroism and the gritty truth behind making a difference. It's not easy to pick the good fight or live in a world as harsh as this when we peel back the mask media hands us, but you stand and deliver truth to guide positivity to souls floating toward your light. Don't stop. Never stop. There will always be razors left in the candies for our youth, but we have to remain strong no matter how harsh the fires blaze or however much pain we go through. Even Mother Nature throws some wicked curveballs herself and we keep going to carry on the spirit of those who didn't make it this far. We carry them on our shoulders and push forward to honor their memories and hearts carrying everyone we see along the way.

@nickstone I can't believe we've known each other so long and yet all those years we lost touch when we should have been growing closer as a family. We can't change the momentary break we had in our friendship, but we can continue to grow and teach one another as well as smile for one another through love and hurt. We've both been dealt some wild hands in the Poker game called life, but we're both still here and we both found each other again. It's an honor to have you as a friend and to learn from you as someone who has even more experience with an era of punk I wish I had under my belt. You're a great man. Never give up on that love.

@yogi64 I know I brought you up once or twice before in regards to sharing great music, but it really is amazing. I don't know how well you think you know me, but music really is my life. I spend hours scouring the web and friendly brains for new bands, new songs, and anything I can get my hands and ears on to match the mood of the day or the event of the evening. You always bring someone new to the table and remind me of some of the songs I had almost forgotten. Music is an important part of my life and I am so thankful that you continue to provide as much as you can so I can please my ears and emotions. It's the world to me it's awesome that you found me stirring around the site.

@romany You entertained me with an avocado shirt way back when and with stories of mice and men... okay, not that story, but you have always listened and shared pieces of your love through friendship and through stories of your furbabies and their struggles. I wish the world had kinder actions towards the ones that bring you so much joy, but maybe there was something deeper and the time had come for them to watch over you whether as furry angels or as electrons and neutrons floating around to become part of the bigger picture you never really see. They'll always be part of you and I'm honored to befriend someone who holds so much love in their heart. I'm also thankful you give me a reason to visit Chicago someday soon. I love pizza and that deep dish calls my name more than you know. One day, I promise.

@ohsammiii You say that I've supported you from day one, but the truth is you've show me a strength I'm not sure you realize you have. We've discussed mental health in the past and crazy situations that have happened in your life, but you have this confidence and strength that comes out when you least expect it. It's more beautiful than any sexy photos you might share on SG and it's a true inspiration to see you accept what is going on in your heart and in your head as you push it forward. You say it's tough, but when I see you push through and make something I know you were being honest but also that there's a star shining above that you're still trying to reach because you know it's in reachable distance. You have strength and I am so thankful to be here to see you reach toward something and show me that I could do the same. I fake it a lot myself so I need to see that star chase to remind myself I can be so much more as well.

@avecalluna You have been supporting me from day one and you've honored me many times by mentioning me in posts or finding me places along the site. Never have you weened your support or love and always have you shown nothing but love to the people that surround you. You created an amazing blog post to thank everyone that has guided and loved you with a true humility. You're one of us, you're more than a pretty face or cosplayer. You are right here among the inspired souls and loving hearts that build the community with bare thoughts to create a pillar upon which we can expand and grow to something bigger and better.

@donawhale You've supported me a long time as well. I feel like that chest piece is a perfect example of life in all of it's beauty as it tells a deeper story when you get past the pretty canvas upon which it is inked. It's always great to read your posts on first kisses, thankfulness, and even cool little tributes to show your love for the community around you. This site would never be the same without you.

@fresa I've said a gazillion things in private messages and blog posts so I won't flood you with much deserved affection, but ever since I discovered that smile and saw the light that you shared with the community you've had me hooked. Many times I stopped by the site to escape a dastardly villainous day and found your smile to scare away the shadows and allow me to walk a sweeter path. I'm thankful that I've been lucky enough to know you in even the smallest way through this site and I only hope that everyone around you offers that same kindness that I would surely flood you given the chance. You're that Cheshire Cat smile that appears when I walk in dark woods alone at night, though not a trickster you are a thought that never strays from my mind no matter how dire. You've guided me through a lot and I love you all the more for it.

@nebula How could I show appreciation for someone as strong, humorous, and creative as you? I would build a monument to prove how influential you've been to me from the opposite end of the states, but that might be overkill, no? You really have offered the music, the creative energies, the smiles, the laughs, and the genius to which I admire and take inspirational notes. Everything I write tends to have a nebulaic reference or footnote somewhere hidden deep within. Even in the past year I've grown so much more and you've been a bigger chapter than you realize.

@jacqui_daniels How many times have I praised you for being one of the most conversational people on the site looking to answer each and every person with more than a few words? A lot. I love the fact that I found a Mayan connection with you and that you reside near where my grandparents once did (the same ones that offered me a bit of interest in the culture). I wish more models on the site were willing to write essay length responses and meet up at the diner for some coffee and conversation as you, well, the coffee may not have been a literal thing for me, but you get the idea... You've been a supporter and a true piece of SG history out in the ABQ and I hope you get all that love back that you've put into the site and all the friends you've made. I know we all love you and I'm so very glad I found you. You're always dropping sets and have had some very amazing outside of SG shoots that you've shared as well and, needless to say, it's been inspiring to my wordsmithing.

@marlene You're the Amelie of SG, inspiring hearts with every vampire slaying, time traveling, and "wet dream" giving strange thing you could manage. Along with @mandeelou you managed to make pizza sexy again no matter how many calories of it goes straight to my belly. That Wednesday Addams beauty also had the same intention with a water soaked set of sensuality. You've been a beautiful inspiration and so very appreciative of even the little things. Mandeelou has been the purrfect kitty to knead her way into the hearts of thousands. I don't think my thankfulness could ever be fully expressed in words because neither of you know how deeply you've affected me over the past year. It'd been a wild and fantastical ride full of inspiration and way too much awe stealing away my heart from adult responsibilities. I cannot dare share the wild fantasies nor could I tell either of you in a thousand words what one hug could do in an extended embrace, but my time here on both SG and this planet have not been the same since discovering either of you.

@ivylina The Red Circle wouldn't be the same if it was helmed by anyone else. There is lots of support offered for friends and recruits through models and photographers alike but few beyond the likes of @ropers71 and myself have really pushed forward the women we appreciate so dearly. You've been a beautiful mind to hold a conversation with, a strong heart to understand, and a powerful voice to hear. It is without a doubt that you will always and forever be one of my favorite people on the site and I hope one day I am lucky enough to meet a woman like you to have in my life as more than a friend. I appreciate the friendship and would love to experience adventures with you any day of the week, but if I were to be picky and attempt to define the type of woman that could raise my own strength and ambition to the levels they should be at as we conquer the world together... well, I would flash a photo of you and say "like this". Simple but effective for anyone that even remotely knows the voice behind the beautiful singing voice.

@epyk I don't think I've seen as many smiles as yours over the past 365 days across the site. There are a few wonderful ladies I've mentioned or will mention that have plenty of smiles to share, but when I think of the sheer number of smiles your name pops up in my head first. I know there might be some slight distraction because nobody builds Voltron or makes breakfast quite like you do. Damn, that's one lucky sonofa...ehem... anyway, beyond the lucky soul awakening to that smile in person it's an honor and pleasure to see smiles dawn like the morning light so often from your corner of the world. Smiles are an important inspiration and the perfect fuel to rocket past the dark clouds or to make it even closer to the stars with each stride forward. Nobody does it quite like you and I love that your smile lingers in my thoughts so that troubles melt away leaving a sticky sweet taste in my mouth.

@chalk If I'm going to mention smiles, I would be amiss to leave this one out. I admit it's part massive crush, but seeing that smile light up the stage makes me want to buy every ticket to soak up the warm stage lighting. There are smile and then there are supernovas that explode like a blast of inspiration and bright light propelling everything forward. It's not easy to see one's way in the dark, but when that smile lights up across your face it's as if the stars decided to open up the sky and guide my feet through the woods to best view on the planet. It's unbelievable how beautiful your smile is, the way your lips stretch out those cute cheeks and your eyes become this sunlit ocean full of life. It's one of the best surprises I've had all year discovering a smile as big and beautiful as yours.

@nayru and @raphaelite It's impossible to think of an SG without either of you being a voice of strength and beauty, support and structure. There has not been a day sweeping by that I have not been reminded of your contributions to the SG community and experienced the beautiful creativity you've offered. I've seen the colorful hair changes, the coolest eye makeup, and the most awesome cosplays. I've heard great advice in the cutest of voices, witnessed powerful defense against arrogant fools shaming the hard-working models/photographers, and noted great leadership through blogs and responses across the site. The greatest of leaders are not the ones that sit on thrones and allow others to enforce rules, but are the citizens themselves that take a strong stand with dirty hands working the fields alongside the community that continues to build the gardens that feed the denizens. It's been an honor to follow your insights and see creative energies focused not solely on self but furthering everyone as a whole. Thank you for sowing the seeds among the farmers watching their bounties grow. SG couldn't be the same without you and I would never be the same without SG.

@kettle Did you think I forgot that smile? Another supportive smile from one of my favorite places on earth that will always remain the most elusive to visit one day. I used your smile to entice my heart to get through some harsh days and stolen hints from your Aussie Appreciations posts to find more lovely ladies to love and admire. It's amazing that you finally became pink (for which I am thankful) and I hope that smile shines on for decades to come. I know I can always check out an archived smile, but to see a fresh one so often is just like experiencing a new day. The past lent us a few bricks to keep building but a new day means a layer higher so that we can reach the sky, right? You're a beautiful dream both inside and out and I'm honored to have chatted on brief accounts and experience the love you have for your friends. Self-promotion is part of the "job" to gets sets purchased on the site, but I always seem so much more of your attention focused at promoting everyone else and I can't help but love and adore that kind heart of yours. You've taught me a lot and allowed me to reach more deeply into my own heart to see what matters most. You've done a number on my heart and although I'm heartbroken I'm thousands of miles away I can at least take away a piece of inspiration. 😉

@akiramai So many intelligent and thoughtful blog posts promoting mental health and enticing deeper thought into matters we think we understand have given me a deep appreciation of the wise mind inside that pretty head. I've continued to hear wondrous stories of the legendary Akiramai and through blog posts of your own I've come to believe all of them quite true. It's crazy how many different reasons there are for people to meet and what circumstances can bring two people together, but I'm glad it lent me your direction. I always look forward to more advice and personal insight to guide my own thoughts the right direction. Just because I have a contemplative nature that should allow deeper reasoning doesn't mean I always follow through and having a little gravitational tug from a mind as beautiful as yours and a heart and sincere is something I know I need more of, but I'm sure most of us could use as well to get beyond the daily grind and become something more.

@lagoona You know I had to mention that smile of yours as well. I've mentioned a few already, but I love being surprised and seeing work selfies pop up with those gorgeous green eyes lit up like stars beckoning from across the sky for my soul to reach out and grab the light. That smile so perfectly curved it's hard to believe it's even real, but you've offered enough evidence that it is very true. You may not haunt my nightmares with that Freddy cosplay set recently published, but you've taken over quite a few dreams I'd be too embarrassed to discuss. It's a delight to have found you on a site that can be overwhelming with the amount of gorgeous women posting sets and selfies because none of them are quite like you and although I'd love a clone to hold in my own arms 😉 I'm glad that there's one amazing star like yourself shining the way you do. A pleasure it is.

@diamant We've been chatting for quite some time now. Has it been since day one? Most likely. You're a beauty and strength that I admire. No matter what's going on I could never guess without hearing it directly from your lips. Every time we chat I almost forget we're worlds apart because you make it feel like we're neighbors that have been well acquainted for many years. Mayhaps I should say "friends", but you get the picture. Things have been a little crazy but you remained strong, my life has had a few tornadoes sweep past and you've been supportive and understanding. It's the little moments, the brief conversations, the topic changes after a few days of adulting and silence whilst being responsible, and all the magic that whips up between those times. You kept me close and I've never forgotten you even in my dreams. It's been a trip, but I hope there's tons more adventures!

@doncella Everyone tells me I should write, but I never found too much love for my own words. Maybe I'm harsh on myself or maybe people are silly, but despite the truth I always tell people it would likely be a child's book and I want @doncella to illustrate! You've been a supportive friend all along to me as well as to your friends on SG. You've shared your lovely illustrations and love of gaming (which I always admire). It's awesome that you love Bacon pancakes as well, too, because they're delicious! So is Adventure Time, but you already knew that. Soon the book will be published and I really can't wait to see more once it hits the market.

@reallifepirate Another smile and another strong women to admire for sure. You've always been an equal motivation to push oneself beyond the limits as well as a guiding smile to brush away the dark clouds. That beautiful voice has been lingering in my eardrums as I lay myself to sleep. That smile is damn near infectious, though, the way it makes me smile a split second after viewing yours. Those lips alone are motivation, but seeing those IG posts and hearing even the briefest of words that tell me I can do do anything is among the best advice ever given. There are a few workout gurus or motivational messages I actually pay attention to on social media and you're most definitely one of the few that I always take to heart. It's by chance that I found you but I'm happy to this day that I have. I hope that smile forever remains on your lips and in your heart because you deserve every bright moment you've shared and gifted the rest of us.

@zen @leetattar @alexander_magnus @saria @fishball @coolicio @aurralee @milloux @ayah @natalia_randle @tripodski @writeboy @r_girardi @chinaski @caustix @minuminula @akril @fromlimbo @crisro @frani @aymi @sobelle @msilveira @gemmaedwardsuk @leemalee @kezia @johngoyer @just_sick @mel_z @lady @andreasciero @thimeow @brooklyn @cersei @darryldarko @pisces @peacockeyephotog @acsebo @shaine @sunshine @alissa @waikiki @niallpatterson @valo @atlanticlungs @darkmoonmedia @dojikko @gitanna @fortnightphotos @merryboudoir and many more photographers I am forgetting in this post, I am so very grateful for all of you helping create these amazing sets that you do. It takes time, effort, money and travel to accomplish shoots that many only take brief moments on to hit like and leave a couple words of love. The amount of creative energies and effort that goes into all of these sets does not go unnoticed and I wish I had all the time in the world to love every single set with essays worth of appreciative words, but time is fleeting and I avoid my own adult responsibilities and social life just to give the love I do. Some of you I've had plenty chats with and some I've not shared more than a word between, but all have influenced my own creative energies and emotional energies as well. I've fallen in love, been inspired to create poetry, taken new views on concepts covered in themes, and have seen new facets of the models revealed through every shot and creative edit.

Without you there would be no sets, there would be less chance for these women to express themselves other than the too personal Facebook posts or less personal Instagram posts. SG is a community built for strong, intelligent, and creative women that accepts everyone no matter the gender, race, or beliefs that define the individuals that come to discuss and love on a daily basis. On the outside it seems a place to find hot naked girls revealing all the lady nice lady bits but in truth it's a true social network, a community that allows creative freedom without restrictions be it clothing or NSFW discussions. You allow these girls to strip away the masks they put on for work and sometimes for friends or family so they can be given the chance to be free and expose the heart, soul, and mind beneath the clothing, beneath the exposed skin. Even when they cosplay or share sexy story time multis they still reveal a piece of themselves to anyone willing to listen with their eyes. You offer freedom. You offer love. You offer the chance to follow a heart's desire. There is nothing like Suicide Girls across the entire world wide web and though some sites have tried they've limited themselves to becoming a one or two trick pony. Sure there are great sites to chat like MFC or great ways to support your work along with the model's work on Patreon, but sorting through a bajillion profile pictures or trying to find the perfect person to support on Patreon isn't a simple task. You make everything come together.

I know this was a long blog. I know I missed a lot of names of members, models, and photographers.

I hope you know that I appreciate all of you on this Thanksgiving Day. I wouldn't be the person I was if it wasn't for the family that raised me, the music that inspired me, and the many members and models of past and present that I have met along the way since 2004 on the site. I've found love and heartbreak. I've found inspiration and introspection. I've been alive much longer than SG, but it's been the biggest online social influence and I'm proud to have been a member for as long as I have been.

Thank you. Thank all of you for the smiles, the push to be greater, the support, the love, the understanding, the gifts, the laughs, the gaming experiences, and everything. You are my family, my friends, my reason for being.

What am I most thankful for? You.

Some last minute additions (told you I would forget) before calling it a night and getting some beauty sleep (I need a LOT).

@bookcouple @therustycheez @jecht @marisabel @pashynskaya @redlyme @vexaltyn @chroi @dariianity @tcha @redkaya @chef @kasha @sarahmoon @rileyash @freyahz @leighgabriel @babal @phianixx @psyria_delight @ravenskarlette @ravenna_ @thaecos @kaliva @kwanon @apollo @jessieoops @jacqueline @channy @anjave @birdi @gladyce @victoriaboness (for all the love, support, conversation, and amazing sets)

Also, last minute reminder. I will be crafting some cards (likely) with my mother's card making equipment (she does that card crafting thing as a hobby) over the weekend. If you would like a Christmas Card from yours truly then I would love to send you one as an appreciation for all the love you've offered the past year (or so, in some cases). Private message me your address and I will add you to the list. No need to ask, just tell me you want one and send me the address.

Thanks for a beautiful year back! I know it's not been a full 2018 year but it was around now one year ago that I joined after a many year absence.

@rambo @missy