I know I posted a lengthy blog earlier about the recent Set of the Day by @lady titled Murder! at SG Manor: Part 1, but I had these emotions welling up earlier this weekend and the volcano finally erupted. This isn't a sad blog, no, in fact it's a happy blog. I know most of you would want to see photos of pretty ladies and hear about adventures, but the truth is this is a simple contemplation based on recent reads and experiences. If that's your thing then I urge you to pull up a chair and listen in. If not, I won't be offended. If I've been instructed correctly by a few people it's a some great insights that I think most of us could use if we're in love or looking for love. Don't take my word for it because I'm really not very good at it myself. I'm just a traveler passing on the stories I hear in hopes the right ears hear them and the right hearts do the right things with their understanding.
There was a somewhat recent quote posted by @aflalimo that I repeated back to my dear friend @nickstone whom I have known on and off for many years through this site. Many of you know @aflalimo as the poet trying to sweep the feet out from all the lovely ladies on the site and leave none for me. I'm joking, of course, but she's always around to post some very lovely thoughts about the amazing women on the site and I'm always quite impressed with her ability to offer such poetic dialogue and woo hearts. Who doesn't love being compared to flowers, oceans, and works of art? An amazing woman, truly. I digress from the quote itself as I offer short praise so we should probably get back to that, huh?
"When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily." - Buddha
@nickstone is a very kind and loving gent who I appreciate so very much. I remember meeting him (on this site) so many years ago and learning about his relationship with a very lovely and lucky lady. Around this time I've actually met quite a few folks and some of them I even had the chance to physically meet during the old SG Ohio parties in Columbus that, I believe, @alissa put together with the likes of the Ohio crew as well as some of the others that would fly in for comic or tattoo conventions that took place (usually) during the same weekend. It was a grand time meeting so many people so very long ago, but it's amazing to see Nick sticking around the site so many years later. Again I veer slightly left off topic, but it's been an honor to be part of his life for so very long and it was very disheartening to learn of the heartbreak involved after so many long years.
He posted about loving this very girl through everything. I won't steal his words and quote every last drop of sweet sentiment, but the fact was that he stated he would support her through every decision she makes and love her every moment she makes a new memory even without him as if he were watering the flower he loved so very much. Many of us do think to simply pluck that flower up and offer sentiment and gain a little something back as if we saved it from the dirty soil it was growing in. Maybe it's not exactly like that, but even I have thought the same so many times before.
When we see that beautiful flower growing we have the choice to do pretty much anything we want as we were granted free will as humans. True love is the ability to walk over to the garden from which the flower is blossoming and watering it so that when it reaches full bloom it can kiss the sun and feel that very warm sensation of happiness that is by no means any sort of jail. We're not freeing the flower from the earth. This very planet, the ground we walk upon is the soil upon which we sow our seeds and craft the life we see and know. One day that flower might make it to our garden, but many times it will remain where it stands growing ever stronger and taller, more vibrant and beautiful each and every day. There will be storms, sleet, and people that may try to trample this flower, but it will continue to grow. We must remember to cherish this strength, this beautiful seed that will blossom one day.
What is a plucked flower but some pretty colors to see for a few days before it wilts and we are left with nothing as we deprive the flower of it's growth.
I will attest that I feel this way about a few specific ladies on this very site. I love them all and I've made beautiful friendships with some while others remain in acquaintance stage until we actually get some time to have deeper conversations, but there are a few that I have grown to deeply respect and cherish with all my heart as I learned more about the people they are behind all the glam, glitter, and camera lenses. It's an honor and a pleasure to shower them with love so that they continue to grow even if it means the moon is the romantic lighting between them and their lover. I would rather love wholly with my heart on my sleeve, providing stimulation to open one petal at a time than steal away time for myself that would never be honest. Love doesn't know time like we understand it, it isn't linear. It only blooms when we offer it worldly honesty and not just our truth.
Along those lines, I watched The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix recently and there are some great philosophies and perspectives throughout the episodes. I highly recommend it if you have not yet taken the time to watch it. It's a well written story. While it doesn't quite spoiler the show I can't really say too much without possibly ruining some things for you so I'll keep it to a minimum. Be forewarned there will be spoilers in the sense of character building, but I won't reveal the fates or very specific things that might ruin some of the moments that really make an episode... okay, I might slightly be telling a lie on that one because a couple moments were very emotional and important, but out of context they are simply lessons and not really spoilers in relation to the plot of the show.
The most simple dialogue in the whole show was between husband and wife and the few words exchanged between them was very emotional for me, as the viewer. It's very sweet, actually, the short exchange. As he walked up the steps to show the children their rooms he asked if his wife would be joining them and she replied, "go ahead without me" to which he responded, "how could we?" That, my friends, is true love right there. I know we talk about flowers growing outside of our gardens in blog posts such as this, but when that flower grows in our garden and we sit under the moonlight gazing in the gemstones that reflect the moon's light inches above those delicate petals forming lips those simple words are the entire world. I don't think I need to explain what they mean, but even a simple "I love you" has nothing on that impactful dialogue. When two souls become one how could they possibly become two again?
Life can go on, but we prove to be inevitably part of that other soul, one of the heart's chambers in that relationship and the only way we might move forward is to water that flower when it grows in that other garden. While it grows next to us, though, that's one of the sweetest things I could ever want to say or hear when I find a flower for my garden one day.
The second thing that really stood out to me within that show was Nell's selflessness. I don't know how anyone couldn't fall madly in love with her based on her father's description, but when he explained that she wrote letters to Santa every year to ask for gifts for each of her siblings and never once for her it broke my heart. Every letter through adulthood was a letter describing her siblings accomplishments and how proud she was to be a part of that family. Everyone spends so much time on "me" that they miss the point of life. What is a toy for Christmas? What is an accomplishment that we don't share? Even here on this site the woman share their projects be it music, photography, modeling, or whatever and most of us are proud of their accomplishments, no?
Sure, it's amazing they are doing these things and this is by no means a social commentary on them because they are sharing it with us. They're not sticking it in our faces then walking away. The point is that happiness comes strongest when we are proud of the people we care about. How many parents (single or otherwise) are out there right now and providing everything for their children as their number one? How many are possibly caring for a sick parent or family member and placing them above all else? We might not get to play with that toy, but when we see the look on their face and can stand next to them proud of what they've accomplished there is no better or truer version of happiness.
Before we start self love talk and say we have to focus on ourselves and make ourselves happy I do want to assure you that this does not go against that philosophy. We do have to take care of ourselves as well. The point was mainly that we shouldn't be selfish, we shouldn't turn away from our friends or family whether it's during crisis or celebration to focus on ourselves. We can love ourselves and still offer those hugs, Christmas gifts, and handshakes. It's cool.
While there are two final thoughts I will only share one because the introspective statement during the final episode is quite profound and needs to be experienced so I'll save it for the folks that have watched it all the way through and we can discuss on our own time privately or elsewhere so as not to spoil anything.
Nell describes time as raindrops. We look at time as a liner thing because we only know how to move forward and read clocks, but the truth is time is a lot like raindrops, snow, or confetti. We live each day going forward one step at a time, but our memories, our moments flutter by and swirl around us constantly. Every memory and moment builds us into a new person as we grow. These moments never leave us. They happened then and continue to happen now. Our memories build our being. When we look at life like dominoes falling in line we might only see things falling down as we trudge through things like our mistakes, bad luck, or cloudy days, but if we look up we can see the colorful confetti celebrating the moments that made us happiest, the moments that bonded us together. I am a big fan about this concept of time and will gladly talk for hours to any willing participant about it. I can't claim to be an expert, but that statement is actually quite profound and also so very important for us to understand.
Lastly, I just want to throw this idea out here because it's relevant and also intriguing. Theo is a really great character throughout the show. I won't spoil her actions or full personality, but to examine her and see her as everyday us is really amazing. In essence we learn that feeling emotions may hurt as we lose loved ones to death or simple heartbreak, but to feel nothing at all is the darkest and most horrifying void we could possibly experience. It's better to love and lose, to live and hurt than it is to glide through a vast empty space with absolutely nothing. There will be pleasure and pain, but it's worth the pain if it means we can feel pleasure. I thought she was a very important character to have for both the show as well as to give a little thought to how we ourselves actually feel many times. I've had my heart broken and been there plenty where I wished I was an emotionless robot that didn't have to deal with such garbage. It's life. Just a little bonus thought if you plan to watch the show.
Thank you, as always, for reading.
Sincerely,
Xander
@rambo @missy
