xgoatboyx

Friday: Really fucked nightmare; I have a tumour growing in my brain that is slowly killing me, I'm in hospital and trying to make a video dairy but keep passing out for days at a time, The doctor tells me the tumour is inoperable and I only have a certain number of waking hours before I die, I run away from hospital and go home, being away from the hospital and drugs gives me a new lease on life, I become more active but get talked into going back to the hospital for treatment, a bus takes me back that reminds me of the "special" mini-bus that took me to school at Upbury Manor, I get back to the hospital, get in bed and try to put the catheter in my urethra but can't do it so a nurse is called to do it for me. I woke up at half three and was so freaked out I couldn't get back to sleep I got up about twenty passed five and decided to do my laundry. Last day of work, had a funny start to the week, Tuesday I used the ticket machine at Strood train station and it spat a 10 note at me, there was no staff around I could report it as lost property to (which I swear was my first thought, I like to think of myself as an honest person) and my train was leaving in five minutes so I just pocketed it, later that day I was going through housing applications and found one guy who put "no knee caps" down as a disability and actually caught myself laughing out loud, so as a direct result of these two things, I've decided that I am going to Hell. I was expecting an easy day, did I get one, did I fuck. First off they had me putting liner notes in CDs of marching band music for Remembrance Day, each box I finished I had to take over the road to supply lines, each time I got drenched in rain, then I got asked to research local valet companies and call them all to compare prices, I got the numbers but made so much of a fuss that I would know what to ask for that Roger did it for me after I came back from finishing my leaving papers, after lunch I wrote a letter for Richard but kept making mistakes so I had to make corrections hand in a new copy, then get the copy back with more corrections to make, finally after hour an hour waiting for Richard to give me something to do he let me go, had to wait twenty minutes at Aylesford station, got the bus from Strood and banged my head on the wing mirror getting out while I was trying to side step a guy with his kid trying to get on, I was fucking livid. Found a copy of a Ravenous album that came through the post while I was out, listened to it, ate, showered, dicked around on the internet then started walking to Chatham, along the way I saw a bunch of Pikey kids trying to break the fibreglass of the bus stop I was standing at earlier. Got to the Tap, found Ollie, hung out with his mates while they were playing pool until they all went to Manor, I decided to see what was happening at the Command House. Walked through the crowd of kids, which was way bigger than the last time, they even had a car with speakers on the roof blearing House Of Pain. Got fucking ID'd by an old bouncer who had the nerve to tell me to "smile it might never happen" when it just did. It was another Urban Fox night, talked to Manny for a bit, first on was this old guy who used to hang out with Billy Childish back in the day reading his poetry which was fucking diabolically bad (the stuff I write isn't that good but on literature level my stuff could kick that guys arse), then the twat wearing silk trousers minus the flamenco shirt this time (found out his name is Leon) doing his acoustic Beatles rip off thing, then a stoned looking little man called Chris playing some acoustic stuff which was that great but he did have one song about the Tap N Tin "which is full of cunts" then called everyone in the audience cunts which I thought was admirable, then Opustrees who surprised me by being not shit, I've always heard their name mentioned alongside bad local Indie bands so I thought I wouldn't like them, but I was pleasantly proved wrong, there was more than a little bit of Muse worship going on but it was forgivable, said goodbye to Manny then headed back to the Tap. On my way I noticed there was still loads of kids on the green, I could easily see there was more kids there than there would be in the Manor, which struck me as cool because at least there giving their money to unscrupulous off licences than getting ripped off at the Tap and Manor and also maybe this is a good thing, I've always said I wanted a place where the Rock community could hang out in a non-pretentious way and although I may be too old for it, this new generation aren't. Got in the Tap, lasted half an hour after finding no one I knew, got a large portion of chips as I was depressed, a taxi home, tipped the driver and caught myself singing Love Her Madly by the Doors under my breath as I approached my front door.

Saturday: , Said The Shotgun To The Head by Saul Williams came through the post. Walked to Rochester and saw this in the sweet shop window

I can just see kids coming in and saying "I'll take a hit, I mean a bag of Extra Strong Acid please". Got my shopping in Chatham then got the bus home. Ate, dicked around on the Internet, watched the extras on the Tromeo and Juliet DVD then headed out to get a bus to Chatham. Went in the health food store and got a couple of energy drinks then popped in Sounds Perfect, picked up the money Chris owed me along with Bouncing Souls and Lifetime albums, grabbed a portion of chips at the kebab shop, ate a Vegan chocolate bar and drank one of the energy drinks on my way to Medway Tattoo, session started off ok, for the first hour of lying on my front I nearly fell asleep until Ray got to one part of my leg where there was a trapped nerve and my calf started pulsating, so we had to stop a couple of times so it could stop, Ray only took two hours of the three hour session so he knocked the price down. Had another Vegan chocolate bar and the other energy drink, got a text from Mills saying he was at the Tap. Got there talked bollocks with Mills for a bit, the Pete showed up, he mentioned he was doing psychology at Uni, I asked if he had to read Freud and Jung and got into a discussion about Psychology and Philosophy writers, then he went off to talk to Marks girlfriend and her mates, I left after nine to go home and tend to my tattoo. Got the old cab driver who waved at a prostitute the other week, when I got inside I saw my parents had arrived home from holiday in Canada and gone to bed, took the dressing off my tattoo and took this picture